Dumb Marvel Villains and Dumb Evil Plans

[Speed Force League Unlimited]

In catching up to my Hulk history I FINALLY took it upon myself to red Defenders comics and start from the start with Marvel Feature 01-03, I can name a few villains from these stories (I'm up to issue 18 of volume 1 of Defenders) that came up with some boneheaded ideas.

Everyone in the Marvel Feature Series:
*Issue 01: Evil doctor is dying, decided to build a giant computer using both science and magic to destroy the world, and brag to Doc Strange about it on his deathbed.
*Issue 02: Evil alien that can turn to cloud hypnotizes two astronauts to start their own children TV show with terrible writing to allure children to ride a rocket to a new planet instead of the destroyed home planet of Xemnu to repopulate a new planet for himself by letting human children reproduce and destroying Earth.
*Issue 03: Evil crazy occultists want to summon Dormammu (Door Mouse Guy) to top the entire planet crust with scorching hot lava and be his loyal minions, even though he was insulting them even before commencing with their plan and talking down to them.

And then the regular series starts, and Steve Engleharts issues are at least proper in villain motivation for 11 issues, then came Len Wein with some solid issues and two stories of villains with absurdly nutty plans:

*Xemnu wants to repeat his mistake from Marvel Feature 02, but with population of an isolated town instead of children this time and a rocket built slowly inside the Town Hall. He also defeats Hulk and attracts the attention of other Defenders who again put a halt on his crap plan.

*The Squadron Sinister want to destroy the planet Earth by selling it to an alien aquatic archaeologist to allow him to melt the icecaps and cause global flooding, all because baby mind Hyperion is mad that he was locked in a container and before that his atom world was demolished, the subatomic world that existed within confines of regular Earth.

*Wrecking Crew destroy buildings more pricey than the ransom they demand, cherry-pick buildings owned by Kyle Richmond (the newly joined Defender at the time; Nighthawk) and ask for millions of dollars and cause more property damage, not caring that their money will lose value the more property they destroy (even if you were to remind me property destruction happens all too often in superhero comics, 80s and 90s comics had it especially worse). The Four Stooges do that more often it seems based on their appearance in Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon, not caring that they will eventually attract attention of superheroes in a city boatloaded with them who defeated them more than once before.




*SIGH*

List any ideas and stories you can think of that you read in the pages of some Marvel Comics. Max, Icon and Malibu count as well considering they are Marvel Imprints.

[Anthony W]

Any villain or villains committing crimes in New York or New York City.

IT'S. THE. SUPERHERO. CAPITOL. OF. THE. WORLD. STOP. IT.

I'm just waiting for Electro or The Shocker to look at a map and realise that they can hit a bank or banks in Iowa with zero resistance.

[babyblob]

Any villain or villains committing crimes in New York or New York City.

IT'S. THE. SUPERHERO. CAPITOL. OF. THE. WORLD. STOP. IT.

I'm just waiting for Electro or The Shocker to look at a map and realise that they can hit a bank or banks in Iowa with zero resistance.

I always wondered that. Like take a Greyhound to Gary Indiana and go nuts. I mean I doubt any heroes are going to come stop you.

[Anthony W]

I always wondered that. Like take a Greyhound to Gary Indiana and go nuts. I mean I doubt any heroes are going to come stop you.

Fun fact, there is a team called The Fantastix that operated out of Philadelphia. They left Philadelphia so they could make a name for themselves in New York! If your a villain guess which city you should head for? You can read about it in Fantastic Four #4 . Slott wrote it and the art was by Stefano Caselli and Nick Leon.

[Huntsman Spider]

To Shocker's credit, he did try to ply his trade, such as it is, in New Jersey . . . but then the resident hero of Jersey City, one Ms. Marvel, stumbled upon and beat him. I think that happened in one of the later issues of G. Willow Wilson's run.

[Riv86672]

Paste Pot Pete and any plan that doesn’t involve patenting his formula for legitimate millions.

[Anthony W]

To Shocker's credit, he did try to ply his trade, such as it is, in New Jersey . . . but then the resident hero of Jersey City, one Ms. Marvel, stumbled upon and beat him. I think that happened in one of the later issues of G. Willow Wilson's run.

Hate to break it to you but I don't count New Jersey as being separate from New York nor does the rest of America lol

[Iron Maiden]

I always wondered that. Like take a Greyhound to Gary Indiana and go nuts. I mean I doubt any heroes are going to come stop you.

I grew up there....believe me, there isn't much left to rob.

[williamtheday]

I always wondered that. Like take a Greyhound to Gary Indiana and go nuts. I mean I doubt any heroes are going to come stop you.

It'd be just the villain's luck a superhero would be visiting Gary, Indiana that same day.

[SuperiorIronman]

Doctor Doom’s return to villainy was all kinds of dumb.

Basically his plan was to call Galactus to Earth and then siphon his power to create impossibly powerful batteries. This is all kinds of dumb because should Galactus die the universe goes to Hell. The batteries Doom makes gets exported where? Nobody really trusted Doom before, why would they now when he’s got the evil version of Duracell? If Doom can power up Victorious why does he need Galactus? Why can’t he just do that again? Why Galactus specifically? Doom uses a gun that shoots miniature big bangs in the same arc. So what’s the point of power cosmic if Doom can just make Big Bang batteries? Why not just tell someone about this or better yet do a Doom version of the arc reactor seeing as he was operating as Ironman not too long before this? Can’t do his own version of an arc reactor despite wearing a damn Iron man suit but will call Galactus on the off chance he doesn’t eat the planet.

Doom’s return to being a bad guy was stupid.

[LifeIsILL]

The first Ms.Marvel story where the parrot-looking villain was kidnapping children and turning them into batteries or something.....couldn't figure out what the hell that was all about....or what exactly what his motivation was.

And in Jigsaw Puzzle Jigsaw decides to worship Belasco and gain powers so he can lead some dumb gangs and fight the Punisher of all people. Don't know why he needed devil powers just to fight the Punisher. Absurd story.

[Zelena]

When I read so long ago the story of Kang who wanted to ressurect his “dead wife”, after crying so much about his lost love and eventually when faced between recovering his wife and killing the avengers, he chose the latter… well, yes I thought: “Is that dumb?”
I wonder if it’s an editorial choice to consider that villains can’t help but committing evil like a dog can’t help going after meat…

I always wondered that. Like take a Greyhound to Gary Indiana and go nuts. I mean I doubt any heroes are going to come stop you.

At the beginning of all villains, there’s a deep narcissistic wound. They want to be someone, to matter (and well, yes, to be respected)… You can hardly achieve that by being the King of… Gary Indiana.
In a way, villains are the entrepreneurs of comics, they always imagine something to improve their situation… and the heroes seem to exist just to oppose them.

[DrNewGod]

The Living Laser's initial plan was to impress the girl he was stalking into liking him by robbing banks, but he dropped that on first laying eyes on The Wasp, and shifted to impressing The Wasp into liking him by murdering her boyfriend and teammates.

[JudicatorPrime]

I'm just waiting for Electro or The Shocker to look at a map and realise that they can hit a bank or banks in Iowa with zero resistance.

In their defense, most banks in small states/towns don't usually carry that much actual cash on hand. Legally, they're only required to keep about 3% of their total local checking accounts as cash reserves. Obviously, that amount varies depending on the financial calendar. For example, on paydays banks would usually keep more cash on hand, partly as a result of increased direct deposits from their accountholders' employers and such.

So even if you go to a major national bank in a small town, don't be surprised if the total amount of liquid cash it has is only in the tens of thousands of dollars. No, I don't expect every Marvel villain to be aware of banking practices -- and that goes double for most writers -- but any bad guy headed to the Dakotas to do a bank heist would need to hit several banks to really make it worthwhile. My hunch is by the time their spree progressed to the 3rd bank, Monica Rambeau, who can travel around the world 7 times in 1 second, or someone with teleportation abilities, like Mjolnir-wielding Thor, would show up to ruin their day.

[babyblob]

In their defense, most banks in small states/towns don't usually carry that much actual cash on hand. Legally, they're only required to keep about 3% of their total local checking accounts as cash reserves. Obviously, that amount varies depending on the financial calendar. For example, on paydays banks would usually keep more cash on hand, partly as a result of increased direct deposits from their accountholders' employers and such.

So even if you go to a major national bank in a small town, don't be surprised if the total amount of liquid cash it has is only in the tens of thousands of dollars. No, I don't expect every Marvel villain to be aware of banking practices -- and that goes double for most writers -- but any bad guy headed to the Dakotas to do a bank heist would need to hit several banks to really make it worthwhile. My hunch is by the time their spree progressed to the 3rd bank, Monica Rambeau, who can travel around the world 7 times in 1 second, or someone with teleportation abilities, like Mjolnir-wielding Thor, would show up to ruin their day.

Yet there are all kinds of crimes committed in the midwest and West Coast yet no hero lifts a finger to stop it.