Who can survive the Horror Hotel?

[Lazzlo304]

A cheap stay at a new hotel lands YOU, in one of the most unfortunate positions. The hotel is snowed in, and the storm will last for 30 days. Fortunately the hotel offers food and drink to last you, however safety may be their last concern.

The Hotel Owner is Norman Bates

Customer Service is run by Captain Spaulding and his bellhops; The Devils Rejects.

Room Service is provided by Nurse Ratchet(Ratchet), Asami(The Audition), Annie Wilkes.

The Bartenders are Jack Torrance and Annie Wilkes

The Chef is Hannibal Lecter

The Activity Department is run by Jigsaw and Pamela Voorhees

The Janitor is Dexter Morgan

In case of Injury the Hotel Health Aid is Dr. Heiter(Human Centipede)

The catch is you are allowed 1 roommate; who must be a nonenhanced live action human from the current era(2010-2020), also no weapons will be allowed in the building aside from what the staff has equipped for their professions.

How do you survive, how would you make it work, would you enjoy your stay?

[Stigmazilla]

A cheap stay at a new hotel lands YOU, in one of the most unfortunate positions. The hotel is snowed in, and the storm will last for 30 days. Fortunately the hotel offers food and drink to last you, however safety may be their last concern.

The Hotel Owner is Norman Bates

Customer Service is run by Captain Spaulding and his bellhops; The Devils Rejects.

Room Service is provided by Nurse Ratchet(Ratchet), Asami(The Audition), Annie Wilkes.

The Bartenders are Jack Torrance and Annie Wilkes

The Chef is Hannibal Lecter

The Activity Department is run by Jigsaw and Pamela Voorhees

The Janitor is Dexter Morgan

In case of Injury the Hotel Health Aid is Dr. Heiter(Human Centipede)

The catch is you are allowed 1 roommate; who must be a nonenhanced live action human from the current era(2010-2020), also no weapons will be allowed in the building aside from what the staff has equipped for their professions.

How do you survive, how would you make it work, would you enjoy your stay?

This is tricky, I guess I take Iko, from the Raid series. He's a monster without weapons, and can fight ages without slowing down. I probably also try to convince Dexter to help. Iko isn't someone Dexter would want to kill, he's not a murderer, the other hotel staff however are, and would be perfect targets for Dexter. I'm not a great combatant, but I suppose I'd do what I could to keep us alive. Iko should be able to beat basically anyone here, though the Rejects would be an issue if they have guns. Maybe Dexter could drug them if they weren't expecting him?

As for fun? Probably not, fighting for my life isn't really my favourite.
Cool setup though

[big_adventure]

First - I would DEFINITELY not enjoy my stay.

For who would join me... how about Black Widow? She's technically non-enhanced but is freaking ridiculous, even compared to most action movies. She's also funny and beautiful, so I'll have fun while trying to survive.

As for how I'd make it work, well, despite what happens here, I'm actually a really nice person who's really good with people - my girlfriend calls me "human MDMA." I'd try to lean into that. If that fails, well, I'd secure food/water, a room with a secure door and a deck of cards and chill with Natasha for as long as possible, and only engage in violence on my terms and if absolutely necessary. I'm a large, fit person with years of moderate combat training and experience but obviously not a match for any capable fictional character. I'm also a very skilled climber, mountaineer, hiker and skiier and know how to survive in the wild and in snow, so, as long as it's possible to get outside, I'd probably just leave and take my chances - my feats (numerous climbs in the Mont Blanc massif, the Pyrenees, the Grand Tetons, Denali, Yosemite - the list is long, both solo and with partners) are way beyond the staff here for dealing with snowbound survival.

[Shellhead]

I was initially leaning towards John Wick or Beatrix Kiddo, but they are going to be less effective without their favorite types of weapons.

Instead, I choose Marv from Sin City. He is big, strong, violent, and insanely tough. He can easily kill with his barehands, and also readily improvise weapons with whatever is at hand.

I assume that our bellhop impulsively attacks us in our room, and I hang the Do Not Disturb sign while Marv kills him. I bring out several bottles of hard liquor from my luggage. Marv and I have a couple of drinks in our room, while I give him the rundown on the staff. I tear up pillow cases to create molotov cocktails with the rest of the bottles of booze, and there should be a handy book of matches either in the room or in a vending machine.

We're not waiting around for Lecter to poison us or Jigsaw to get some traps set up. We're going to launch an immediate assault on the kitchen to secure the food supply, then barricade all but one entrance to the kitchen. I hold down the kitchen, defending myself with molotovs and then a couple of butcher knives, while Marv takes more cutlery and goes on a proactive killing spree. Hotel kitchens tend to feature a lot of tile on the floors and walls, so it's a relatively safe place for me to be throwing molotovs.

If Marv doesn't clear the building on day 1, he returns to the kitchen to help me defend it. We sleep in shifts, knowing that any surviving opposition will grow desperate as they get hungry. The longer they wait, the weaker they get.

Assuming we survive, Marv and I bunk down in separate rooms for the rest of our stay. We hang out for meals, but otherwise I give him as much space as he wants. Hopefully tv keeps Marv entertained, and maybe there is an indoor pool so I can swim laps. It's still not going to be an enjoyable stay, but boring will be good after the excitement of the first few days.

[Shai-Hulud]

I'm actually a really nice person who's really good with people - my girlfriend calls me "human MDMA." I'd try to lean into that. If that fails...

Hannibal Lecter only kills people who are rude. So cross him off your list of worries if your etiquette game is up to par.

However, he may be offended if you don't enjoy his meals, which are probably other guests....

[Shai-Hulud]

I choose Smilla Jaspersen from Smilla's Sense of Snow.

Smilla is a half-Inuit, half-Danish native Greenlander who is also a scientist specializing in Arctic ice studies. And she solves murder mysteries as well.

No fights, no diplomacy, no plans and schemes. We're out of there that night. Gone into the snow without a trace.

So, instead of a combat specialist for protection, how about an Arctic survival specialist for escape?

Goodbye to Horror Hotel.

[Shellhead]

Whoops, Sin City was in 2005, so not from the current era. I choose John Wick and my plan stays the same.

[Shai-Hulud]

Whoops, Sin City was in 2005, so not from the current era. I choose John Wick and my plan stays the same.

I missed that too. Looks like an auto-fail and I end up in Horror Hotel by myself....

Too bad, it was a good plan.

I'll take Sherlock Holmes from Game of Shadows (2011).

The Robert Downey version of Holmes has self-defense skills, perception skills, and an ultra-high I.Q. genius intellect. Won't miss a thing.

Holmes should be able to devise a plan to keep us safe. I'll be Watson.

[Twickster]

Whoops, Sin City was in 2005, so not from the current era. I choose John Wick and my plan stays the same.

A Dame to Kill For was in 2014, so Marv is in play...

[Shellhead]

A Dame to Kill For was in 2014, so Marv is in play...

In that case, I stick with Marv and the original plan. I picture most of the hotel staff being terrified of Marv after he murders a few of them with a kitchen meat cleaver. The smarter ones might take their chances with the blizzard.

[Twickster]

Also, for me, I'm going with the above Sin City idea. Only I'm picking Miho (who is in "A Dame to Kill For"), who just happens to be deadlier than Marv, with super ninja skills.

So we slowly clear out the whole place, with Miho doing the "lurking in the shadows" ninja bit and killing anyone who comes close. If Miho and I are allied, she would be very invested in my survival. By feats, no one in the hotel even comes close to matching her, or would even notice her if she's serious.

[Shellhead]

Miho would efficiently take out the staff, so efficiently that most of them wouldn't even know what was happening. I would rather watch Marv do the job, because it would be hilarious to see each of these very nasty villains react as they realize their peril. If the hotel has security cameras, watching replays of Marv in action could provide some of the entertainment for the rest of the month.

[The MunchKING]

also no weapons will be allowed in the building aside from what the staff has equipped for their professions.

How do you survive, how would you make it work, would you enjoy your stay?

No weapons? Guess I am banned, as the Living Weapon!

Definitely not eating at the buffet there though.

[Lazzlo304]

No weapons? Guess I am banned, as the Living Weapon!

Definitely not eating at the buffet there though.

Why not? The buffet is the best part.

[T51R]

I'm bringing Kung Fury.