Yeah, I'm not a fan of that interpretation either. I hope that someday we get an emotionally healthier SMWW Elseworlds in which their relationship is built on mutual respect and a desire to be together rather than tragedy and/or settling for "second best".
Edit The closest example I can think of regarding a mutually beneficial SMWW "Elseworlds" story is the anime Project A-ko: which isn't even officially Diana and Clark even though it is fairly obvious they are the inspiration for the star Magami's former superhero parents.