DRAG RACE UK
EPISODE V
"I can't sing. I can't dance. I can't perform. I've got this in the bag! And just note... that bag is designer, as well" ~ A'Whora
The queens come back in the werk room after Ginny's disqualification. And the queens are shooketh. Collectively they seemed upset; Lawrence and Sister are p*ssed off, Veronica feels it was disrespectful and A'Whora feels Ginny shouldn't have been in the bottom in the first place. Veronica stands up for herself, annoyed she is again being underestimated... AND THEN THE SIRENS GO OFF!!!!
"My dear queens, in light of the rapidly changing corona virus situation we must cease filming immediately. Drag queens know a thing or two about survival, so stay safe. And I pray we'll be back together soon. Even stronger than before. For now... with my love... sashay... away."
IT'S 7 MONTHS LATER IN THE YOU BETTA WERK ROOM...
The queens re-enter almost as if it were a new season (or as A'Whora says "it's like an All Stars, but we're all skint"). It was beautifully, after these trying times, to give them all a mini-reboot; and the nudging elbows and mentioning the 'rule of 6' was super cute (awwww, remember when we thought those things would make a difference?). Tayce looked SOOOOOOOOOO SEXY in his red Mortal Combat/Spiderman cat-suit; get in my bed Tayce! Honestly, he's the hottest queen since Kameron Michaels in Season 10. While the queens are required to have kept their looks the same for continuity some things have changed... Tayce and A'Whora now live together, Sister Sister has done quite a bit of cosmetic work on her face, and Lawrence has gained a significant amount of weight (no judgement, A LOT of us did, I completely understand, and I'm frankly surprised more queens hadn't). And then Ru enters, spotting a yellow wig (I assume a dig at all the gays dyeing their hair blonde in lockdown... which I was guilty of, HA!). And then we get the news: "Veronica Green tested positive for Corona virus. She won't be joining us for the rest of the competition." DEVASTATED! I'm thrilled she has an open invitation to return in Season 3, but I'm very sad such a fierce queen has been so unfairly taken out. Lawrence is now THE ONLY contestant with RuPeter Badges, and it's episode 5!!!
The BritCrew enter dressed as a furry elephant, cow and dog; in giant UK glag shorts... and then remove their animal heads... AND IT'S THE THREE ELIMINATED QUEENS! SQUEALLLLLL! Now the queens have to vote to decide who deserves the chance to return to the competition to take Veronica's place (and Ginny Lemon wasn't invited as she disqualified herself. GOOD!).
- Joe Black (5 votes)
- Asttina Mandella (2 votes)
- Cherry Valentine (no votes)
Poor Cherry. She carted out the big guns mentioning she was a front-line worker, fighting to keep everyone safe, and it didn't even bag her a sympathy vote. Joe returns, and I noticed he's 30? Damn! He's had a rough life. I'm 36 and I look a decade younger.
[SIDE NOTE: if you haven't watched "the Queens in Lockdown" on BBC iPlayer, I'd fully recommend it. It was fascinating, moving, upsetting and beautiful].
RuRu VISION SONG CONTEST
For the maxi-challenge the queens are divided into two groups and will be representing the UK in the first ever RuRuVision Song Contest. The queens must record their own verse to the song "UK Hun?", style a hot Euro pop look and create their own choreography. Team captains are Joe (as the returning queen) and Lawrence (as the winner of the last challenge... 7 months ago). And Graham Norton will provide the commentary, as he does during the actual EuroVision. Yasssss kween! It was so, so funny.
UNITED KING DOLLS
This was categorically the best team; so silly, so fun, I smiled the whole time. They looked like a group with matching pink wigs, and camp outfits; they had excellent and varied choreography (kudos to Tayce, she too the reigns and slayyyyyed the choreography). And they had the best lyrics, hands down. A'Whora's verse was the weakest, but it still delivered (and her catsuit was fantastic). It wasn't quite 'as brilliant' as the Frock Destroyers, but it was still an excellent girl group and while I don't feel it was AS DESERVING of a group badge party for the win, I also understand that two of the three people with badges had gone home, and they needed to chuck a few more out there for the stats. So I get it. And ending with "someone do a death-drop" and A'Whora chucking herself to the floor was HILARIOUS! A great button to the performance, kudos UKD!
PERFORMANCE AWARD: Bimini Bon Boulash. What a super star! I couldn't take my eyes off her; she was captivating. Her lyrics were smart, informative. Her outfit was Russian EuroVision tack-tack-tacky (AND I LOVED IT) and she gave us splits, chair stunts and twirls. It was everything I wanted and she stole the show.
BANANA DRAMA
This group was possibly worse than "Filthy Harmony"? It was just so... dull. I agree the chorus of "UK Hun?" isn't on the same level as "Break-up... Bye Bye" but going second definitely deflated the group in terms of originality. But I honestly think the biggest flaw (outside of the complete mismatching looks) was the choreography. It was so boring, repetitive, not challenging. This was Joe's second chance, it was NOT OKAY to ask Ellie to simplify the already simplified choreography; that is not the attitude of someone fighting to stay. And the verses... were pretty rubbish. Sister's was the most bland, I love Tia but couldn't understand her lyrics until the final line of "call me basic!" (I've heard it 3 times, I genuinely do not understand what she's saying). Ellie and Joe were fine, but nothing exciting (on par to A'Whora, but less energy). This was clearly the losing group; and truthfully I felt Ellie and Joe were the ones to blame for this failure. The only exciting thing about this was Sister's pink cowgirl outfit, very EuroVision.
[TO BE RU-TINUED]