First issue of my fanmade comic, Inhumans: Birthright. Seeking critique/advice.

[Fort Nerd]

Hello.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post this in a separate thread, but it was suggested to me that I should, and mods can always delete it. A few months ago I finished an entirely fan-made script for a 5-issue Inhumans miniseries.

I guess I don't have to tell you that the Inhumans are not Marvel's most popular franchise right now, and for good reason. But where others see a (rightfully) unpopular flop, I can't help but see so much unfulfilled potential, and a valuable piece of Jack Kirby's legacy that got criminally mishandled.

Anyway not a lot of people bothered to check the script and offer any kind of criticism, and I felt dissapointed. But then I did an even stupider thing, and decided to draw the comic by myself. I figured it would be quicker and easier to read as a visual medium. This was my passion project for many months, and I MASSIVELY underestimated how quickly I would be able to draw it. On the bright side, I've learned a bunch of things about Photoshop and vectors along the way, just compare the beginning pages to the later ones. I'm still hoping to finish the entire thing someday, as there are some pages in that script, in the later issues, that I'm VERY proud of. For now, however, there is the first issue. It's only 20 pages long, and if you read it I would be in your debt.

This is the completed first "issue": https://imgur.com/a/o8CxLH2

And here's the script for all 5 issues which I swear I will also illustrate one day.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_YR...fBher15at/view

And since you probably don't want to be going blind into a piece of fanfiction, here's my fake "solicits":

Issue 1: Black Bolt was once a King. Having destroyed his kingdom, he currently runs a bar in New York. When a waitress is kidnapped from the bar and then immediately dumped right back on its doorstep, it sets up a chain of events that will lead to uncovering a long-forgotten family secret.

Issue 2: A character from very, VERY long ago makes a surprise return... with a daughter in tow. But is Black Bolt really the father? And why is the Genetic Council - and Kang - interested in both his children?

Issue 3: Justice is not always swift, but it is often inevitable. It's time for Black Bolt to stand trial for his actions - the destruction of Attilan, the release of the Mutant-killing Terrigen Cloud. Was it a good decision? Was it, in hindsight, necessary? Inhumans, old and new, have gathered to offer their testimony. But when the jury is about to reach a verdict, someone will make a bold declaration...

Issue 4: Home. The dream they all held on to for so long, is finally within their reach - and already under attack from Kang and his army. Unfortunately, only the weak NuHumans are available to defend it. But, perhaps, help is coming... from where they least expected it.

Issue 5: What's the best thing to have after an epic battle? An epic party, of course. As the Inhumans and Mutants celebrate their newly established alliance, some dark secrets are revealed, and certain past events are suddenly cast in a new light.

[jwatson]

Hello.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post this in a separate thread, but it was suggested to me that I should, and mods can always delete it. A few months ago I finished an entirely fan-made script for a 5-issue Inhumans miniseries.

I guess I don't have to tell you that the Inhumans are not Marvel's most popular franchise right now, and for good reason. But where others see a (rightfully) unpopular flop, I can't help but see so much unfulfilled potential, and a valuable piece of Jack Kirby's legacy that got criminally mishandled.

Anyway not a lot of people bothered to check the script and offer any kind of criticism, and I felt dissapointed. But then I did an even stupider thing, and decided to draw the comic by myself. I figured it would be quicker and easier to read as a visual medium. This was my passion project for many months, and I MASSIVELY underestimated how quickly I would be able to draw it. On the bright side, I've learned a bunch of things about Photoshop and vectors along the way, just compare the beginning pages to the later ones. I'm still hoping to finish the entire thing someday, as there are some pages in that script, in the later issues, that I'm VERY proud of. For now, however, there is the first issue. It's only 20 pages long, and if you read it I would be in your debt.

This is the completed first "issue": https://imgur.com/a/o8CxLH2

And here's the script for all 5 issues which I swear I will also illustrate one day.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_YR...fBher15at/view

And since you probably don't want to be going blind into a piece of fanfiction, here's my fake "solicits":

Issue 1: Black Bolt was once a King. Having destroyed his kingdom, he currently runs a bar in New York. When a waitress is kidnapped from the bar and then immediately dumped right back on its doorstep, it sets up a chain of events that will lead to uncovering a long-forgotten family secret.

Issue 2: A character from very, VERY long ago makes a surprise return... with a daughter in tow. But is Black Bolt really the father? And why is the Genetic Council - and Kang - interested in both his children?

Issue 3: Justice is not always swift, but it is often inevitable. It's time for Black Bolt to stand trial for his actions - the destruction of Attilan, the release of the Mutant-killing Terrigen Cloud. Was it a good decision? Was it, in hindsight, necessary? Inhumans, old and new, have gathered to offer their testimony. But when the jury is about to reach a verdict, someone will make a bold declaration...

Issue 4: Home. The dream they all held on to for so long, is finally within their reach - and already under attack from Kang and his army. Unfortunately, only the weak NuHumans are available to defend it. But, perhaps, help is coming... from where they least expected it.

Issue 5: What's the best thing to have after an epic battle? An epic party, of course. As the Inhumans and Mutants celebrate their newly established alliance, some dark secrets are revealed, and certain past events are suddenly cast in a new light.

This was really good. A lot more kinetic than even professional stuff. The story made sense including the terrigen resolution of "duh it's killing them". Colors were nice but my fave part was folllowing medusa hair throughout the whole thing.

[Noek]

Sorry my eyes must have missed this post. I know I made comments on the script before but rereading it I have an additional thoughts, as well I want to make notes on the comic it self

Comic Pros: Everything is really good, and ya this is exactly as I would see Black Bolt's daughter looking like.

Comic Cons: So far, nothing.

Script Pros: Very good story, except for the part I will cover in cons, and it covers past events in a very natural way where someone without Inhuman experience could follow.

Script Cons: spoilers:

Sweet home Attilian, where the mist are green. Sweet home Attilian, I really don't think this part should be seen. Still not a fan of the incest plot, and the only reason I am not saying "If you remember my past thoughts... that" is because a new thought has occured. What Atem does kind of feels now lessen what Ahura did in the past. Ya but over all the Ultimate Twins relationship is still a topic this day and age of bad story ideas so I feel this would just add more negatives to the Inhumans. I know you mentioned this was inspired a bit by Dune with the brotherhusband/sisterwife, but Leto II and Ghanima only married for political reasons and had no kids and their own lovers. They loved each other as only a brother and sister, and would I be more interested in seeing them follow that relationship. Hell if you want to make them close pair them with the twins Ahura&Treste and Ari&Irelle.

end of spoilers
If you are fans of God-Emperors listen to this one

[Fort Nerd]

Script Cons: spoilers:

Sweet home Attilian, where the mist are green. Sweet home Attilian, I really don't think this part should be seen. Still not a fan of the incest plot, and the only reason I am not saying "If you remember my past thoughts... that" is because a new thought has occured. What Atem does kind of feels now lessen what Ahura did in the past. Ya but over all the Ultimate Twins relationship is still a topic this day and age of bad story ideas so I feel this would just add more negatives to the Inhumans. I know you mentioned this was inspired a bit by Dune with the brotherhusband/sisterwife, but Leto II and Ghanima only married for political reasons and had no kids and their own lovers. They loved each other as only a brother and sister, and would I be more interested in seeing them follow that relationship. Hell if you want to make them close pair them with the twins Ahura&Treste and Ari&Irelle.

end of spoilers

I agree with everything you said, but I needed a dilemma for Black Bolt where he had to choose between what's good for the kingdom, or his kids. And also that one double entendre on the last page, but that wouldn't impact the story much. Either way, think in terms of spoilers:

something like a Greek tragedy, like King Oedipus, where the incest was unintentional and there were serious consequences. Oddly enough, now that I think about it... King Oedipus and Paul Atreides. They had a very similar end, haven't they? Uh oh.

end of spoilers

The story made sense including the terrigen resolution of "duh it's killing them".

You know that's just a recap of Inhumans vs Xmen and Al Ewing's Royals?

[Noek]

spoilers:

Sorry if I am sounding like a broken record, but you are looking for "CRITIQUE/ADVICE". So you wanted to have Black Bolt make a choice between child or city. Well what if the Boltagon family bloodline had it where females are rare but have been known to bring upon the biggest changes, but these changes being either basically pure good or pure evil has had most to be unfortunately be killed by the Genetics Council through the generations. Since you wanted to also have a Greek tragedy bit even using Oedipus as an example the whole self fulfilling prophecy could come from that since the problem you seem to be hinting at looks to be a future story. Also since Oedipus was brought up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXCl98Nsue4

end of spoilers