I get what you mean,
Hizashi, it's like the rapport, right? Too many writers writing it without some defined guidelines (and often using telepathic intrusions as shameful plot devises). As readers, all we can do is try to come up with an explanation that could work. Or just decide is not worth our time.
The problem about the latter, for me, is that it keeps annoying me, so I try to come with up some headcannon that makes it easier to accept it.
An analogy that works for me is that telepathy/empathy is like hearing, not sight. Meaning, if you don’t want to see, you can close your eyes. But you can’t close your ears.
So, with that premise in mind, I think about telepathy/empathy as an antenna instead of ears, you can't really stop capturing things. You can only dial to different frequencies. The problem is that the more powerful you are, the more range you antena has, the more minds you capture, the harder it is to dial to a frequency no one is using… So, at best, you can try to find some frequency that is mostly static noise, but if someone is really screaming, if someone moves to that frequency, you’d feel it, even if you can’t understand their words because you’re not tuned in well.
Please, don’t understand this as if I’m not trying to convince you. I’m just sharing one of the ideas that help me dealing with my own annoyance.
EDIT: When I'm writing, I rarely use these plot devices. My telepaths are good at their shielding skills!
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PS: Even if you’re just lurking around and popping in on occasion, it makes me happy. I always enjoy chatting with you guys.