I agree that this is an incredibly reductive question which, quite frankly, has often in the past just led to unfairness towards Lois rooted in either misunderstanding of the narrative itself or outright expressions of sexism. It’s a question that doesn’t really need to be asked anymore. Not when so many stories have already clearly provided the answer and the answer is always the same even if expressed differently.
Lois loves the real man. The man he is inside whether he’s wearing glasses or a cape. That’s who she is drawn to. At times, that authenticity comes through most clearly as Superman and, at times, it comes through most clearly when he’s dressed as Clark Kent.
Clark Kent is Superman and Lois Lane is the bridge between Clark Kent and Superman.
Smallville even went so far as to state that Superman is so intrinsically a part of Clark that Clark could not be the man that Lois needed him to be while he was still denying that side of himself. Only in embracing the Super coukd he unlock his true self and only in doing that could he be the man she needed.
The crime is that we’ve ever asked her to choose between Clark and Superman when we would never (or should never) as for Clark to choose between the two sides of himself. She shouldn’t have to choose.