I could not have said it better.I think it always gets messy for us readers as we know that editorial has their hands in things and makes poor decisions when rolling out large-scale mandates that affect one majorly but have little to no consequences to the other books. And this goes across the board really, although the X-line has received more of the brunt than others in the recent past. As readers we are able to pick up multiple books and gather the stories told in them to give us an overview of what's happening. But if we were to view things from the perspective of a citizen of 661 (any character really), we would see just how not shared this universe is. And that's the difficult hurdle to leap over as we are privy to details or stories that aren't reflected in other books which paints a VERY different picture in universe.
Using some of the examples above, yes Carol has had really close and tight ties with the X-Men. Have those waned over the years, sure, but overall she's a strong ally to the X-Men and mutants (you can disagree with me and that's ok). Should she have been painted as a stronger advocate for seeking a cure to aid to the M-Pox? Yes, especially since a teammate was afflicted by it. In her main book she had other priorities which brought her away from Earth, which also makes sense given her role. But where is the balance or nods in the books that count? I think it's the silence or ignorance that gets readers riled up. Using this example, why would the editors decide to create this massive cloud of death that directly impacts two entire lines to their cores in opposite ways, yet most of the other books and characters who you WOULD THINK would be trying to do SOMETHING just.... carry on? With M-Pox, the relative silence of many of the Avengers and other Marvel heroes towards the plight of mutants (both from the cloud itself and the intense hatred and persecution mutants then received), the vilification of Cyclops over NOTHING, and the reluctance to provide aid made them appear to be complicit with what was happening while also appearing to be ok with the Inhuman sovereignty and amassing of power, land, and people. We know as readers that their was a directive to make a push for the Inhumans as they were a franchise that Disney/Marvel had full rights to and were pushing as they had a (failed) tv show coming out. But as denizens of Earth-616 we would see that mutants were sick and causing disease. They were to be feared. While it was a blessing to be an Inhuman. And there was no strong narrative from any of the "heroes" that it should be otherwise.
So long story-short: The hypocrisy of the shared universe cuts both ways, but the X-line tends to get the deeper cuts for reasons.