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  1. #1
    Safari Grandma Sophicles's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014

    Default MCU Heroes vs Kung Fu Hustle Assassins

    Captain America and Winter Soldier take on the two harpist assassins from Kung Fu Hustle.

    Steve gets his shield, but no other guns/knives allowed.
    How would they fare?

    Feats for the two assassins:

    Bonus fight:

    The Beast vs various Spidermen:
    1. Tobey MacGuire Spider-Man
    2. Andrew Garfield Spider-Man
    3. Tom Holland Spider-Man

    How would the Ultimate assassin fare in each case?
    Last edited by Sophicles; 05-08-2021 at 06:03 PM.

  2. #2
    The Weeping Mod Sharpandpointies's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014


    Well, it was nice knowing Steve and the Winter Soldier.

    The two assassins are fast enough to ruin the day of people who can move so quickly that they are invisible to normal human eyesight. This is in excess of anything Steve and Bucky have going for them, and the Harpists' invisible attacks cut through stone and steel.

    As for the other fights, I've never gotten a good handle on how quickly the various Spider-men from the movies are.
    Why Are We Here?, by Pendaran

    "...the Myths Transformed version of the legendarium, in which the Moon is Melkor's attempt to make his own Arda with blackjack and hookers." - Estrecca

    "...dropping an orca whale made of fire on your enemies is a pretty strong opening move." - Nik Hasta

    "[Kent] Nelson was nearly invariably presented as the guy who, barring the Spectre, made everyone else generally gasp and go "Doctor Fate don't shiv, he balls nasty.", even Superman." - Pendaran

  3. #3
    Extraordinary Member Cyke's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014


    I imagine Spider-Sense would go a long way, but it's not infallible or without its own limitations, either.

    P.S. OP, thanks for posting up those links. Any reason to revisit Kung Fu Hustle is ok in my book, especially to watch the Tailor in action again.

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