The Superman Fan Fiction Workshop

[RobinGA]

Thanks for your feedback.

I'll consider what you have to say.

[Bored at 3:00AM]

Thanks for your feedback.

I'll consider what you have to say.

My pleasure. Please post the earlier chapters whenever you're ready to share them. Pairing the Golden Age Robin with Power Girl is a really interesting concept, but it's too disorienting for me to jump in to that 15 years into their relationship rather than seeing it grow from the beginning and becoming invested in it.

One of the trickiest things about fanfic is that these ideas tend to live inside our heads for so long that we sometimes skip over stuff that the readers actually need to fully understand what we're going for. It's why getting feedback from others is so valuable. Others will see those missing pieces that we've already filled in mentally, but haven't put on the page.

[Bored at 3:00AM]

Here’s Parts 2 & 3. Enjoy!



https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...81gahKCTI/edit



https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...4qePRg86o/edit

[RobinGA]

I like the bridging of the Superman and Batman worlds.
My fiction has that as a major theme, although my focus is more on a grown-up Robin, than Batman.

I don't know as much about the Martian Manhunter. I remember him from the early JLA, but he never
interested me that much. You had fun with him.

I would think that the Superman-Robin relationship could be discussed a little more. I mean Superman is a mentor,
you do a nice job of explaining why Robin would hear him. I can see why Robin would be convinced to don the cowl.

[Bored at 3:00AM]

I like the bridging of the Superman and Batman worlds.
My fiction has that as a major theme, although my focus is more on a grown-up Robin, than Batman.

I don't know as much about the Martian Manhunter. I remember him from the early JLA, but he never
interested me that much. You had fun with him.

I would think that the Superman-Robin relationship could be discussed a little more. I mean Superman is a mentor,
you do a nice job of explaining why Robin would hear him. I can see why Robin would be convinced to don the cowl.

Yeah, I was planning on doing the night out on patrol with Clark/Dick, but I cut it for pacing. With fanfic, I'm always afraid of wearing out my welcome. They'll be more Clark/Dick stuff later on though. Thanks for the feedback!

Any progress on yours? I'd still love to read the first chapter in your Dick/Karen story.

[RobinGA]

I spent the day editing on google docs.
I had some problems using Google over the weekend.

I'm still thinking through how to divide it up into sections.
I tend to write long, although my narratives tend to run anywhere from 80-130 pages.
Suggestions are always helpful.

[Bored at 3:00AM]

I spent the day editing on google docs.
I had some problems using Google over the weekend.

I'm still thinking through how to divide it up into sections.
I tend to write long, although my narratives tend to run anywhere from 80-130 pages.
Suggestions are always helpful.

If you're looking for places to break it up, this is how I do it. I try to always end a chapter with good cliffhanger or moment that will hopefully intrigued readers enough to want to come back for more.

My general rule of thumb for the length of each section is to try to get in and out as fast as I can. Granted, that's probably because I'm always imagining a particularly impatient reader getting bored with my nonsense. However, it really depends upon the story you're trying to tell. If you're mostly writing for yourself, go as long as you want, just let it rip, but if you want others to read it, you've always got to keep in mind that their time, and patience, will be limited. And, most importantly, you've got to format your story in a way that readers can jump back to where they left off with ease. There's been fanfics that I've had to abandon because of the difficulty of going back to where I was.

Hope that's helpful for you. Keep at it. I'm looking forward to reading your story from the beginning. What year does it start in? 1986 after Crisis?

[RobinGA]

You have some good insights.

I suppose it becomes a question of both. I write both for myself, but also want people to get into the story.

2005. But for Richard and Kara they have been shoved forward when crisis ends. There is a giant pop, the two of them
wake up sitting next to each other in an American History class at KU.

[RobinGA]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing

Here is the link to the very beginning of the Robin-Power Girl chronicles. I have included the first third of the story as The Dance, Part 1.

The first part of the story explains what happened when the Golden Age Robin and Power Girl dealt with the aftermath of crisis, including the
death of Helena Wayne. Helena's death is a major consequence at this point, hovering over their relationship. The first third ends when they are
together. But before they get there they have lots of twists and turns, there is also some religion here. Which most of the time it is more in the
background. But it is hard to talk about a conversion, without well talking about it.

Parts 2 and 3 describe how Bruce Wayne convinced Richard Grayson to propose, the origins of the Power Girl-Wonder Woman feud, their wedding, and
an adventure in Ancient Egypt with some of their former colleagues in the JSA.

[Bored at 3:00AM]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing

Here is the link to the very beginning of the Robin-Power Girl chronicles. I have included the first third of the story as The Dance, Part 1.

The first part of the story explains what happened when the Golden Age Robin and Power Girl dealt with the aftermath of crisis, including the
death of Helena Wayne. Helena's death is a major consequence at this point, hovering over their relationship. The first third ends when they are
together. But before they get there they have lots of twists and turns, there is also some religion here. Which most of the time it is more in the
background. But it is hard to talk about a conversion, without well talking about it.

Parts 2 and 3 describe how Bruce Wayne convinced Richard Grayson to propose, the origins of the Power Girl-Wonder Woman feud, their wedding, and
an adventure in Ancient Egypt with some of their former colleagues in the JSA.

Just started it. Here's some initial thoughts:

- I love the "voice" of your narrator. Makes the whole thing sound like an old yarn being told on the porch on a lazy Sunday afternoon by some old timer.

- Richard's insistence that he's the "only Robin worth a damn" feels strange to me. He's never struck me as the kind of guy who'd say that about himself, but rather that other people would say about him, particularly given how your conception of the character is more riddled with self-doubt than most versions.

-I dig your re-imagining of the Post-Crisis merger. I love stories that deal with superhero time shenanigans. Thus far, yours feels like an elegant solution to a particularly convoluted problem. I'd like a little more about the Batman of this world, though.
Is he dead, as he was on Earth-Two? What happened to the rest of the JSA?

-Why would PG, a strident feminist, insist upon being called "Miss" rather than "Ms."? Wouldn't it be the other way around?

-You have Robin mention having a crush on PG for years, but never acting on it. You could also have his reluctance be related to the large age disparity between them since he was twice her age until the timey-whimey-ness of Crisis resets them both to 18.

-I was under the impression that the Earth-Two South Africa that Grayson served as Ambassador to had already abandoned apartheid. I'm curious what the reasoning was for you tweaking this for your version.

-I've got to admit that Richard's religious awakening didn't really resonate with me, but I'm probably not the audience for this. However, considering the rebirth he's experienced, I could see him embracing spiritualism. I'm curious about how Christianity works on this world in which the Spear of Destiny, the Holy Grail, and The Spectre are real and tangible for the general public. I'm not sure if that's something you'd want to explore further though.

-The revelations about Kara's family threw me for a loop. What was the thinking behind this?

Overall, I think this works much better as a way in for new readers than your initial submission. Thanks for sharing this. I hope my suggestions were helpful.

[RobinGA]

You always ask such good questions.

Actually, maybe I have lived with this story so long, that I don't think of it as the best in the series.

I wrote the third story first, tweaking it along the way. I then went back later over a solid month to write the backstories.

Regarding Richard Grayson. Well, where do I start.
He's a mess of contradictions, especially when we see him here. He's full of incredible neurosis, with a lot of self-doubt.
Lots of corners that need to be sanded down. Kara, will do quite a number on him, gradually over time you will see him grow into
becoming a very confident hero. But, at this point he isn't quite there, because all of his insecurities have come out full bore
after the death of Helena Wayne.

That said Richard is deeply proud of being a member of the greatest superhero duo of all-time. Especially since his Batman is dead.
When thinking about him I wanted him to have his own identity. Part of that is not being at all pleased with others putting on his colors,
calling themselves Robin. Richard has a line "I'm the original. The one and only. The only one worth a damn." It is a way of showing
pride in what he has accomplished, also a difference from how Nightwing usually has responded to the other Robin's. Richard will make that
even clearer in the second story, where he has to go back to Gotham City after shall we say an event.

There is also the relationship that Richard has with Bruce Wayne. The original Nightwing has well disappeared. Richard is the only Grayson
operating as a super hero. You haven't read this part yet. But Bruce Wayne and Richard Grayson will meet (technically, they have met before,
but it is a little different when Grayson is 19) they will develop a relationship, even though it doesn't make sense logically Bruce and Richard think
of themselves as having fought crime together, even if they really haven't. It is a theme that gets worked on in many of these stories. It is as though
Bruce becomes the Bruce Wayne that Richard knew in the 1940s and 1950s, while Richard becomes the Dick Grayson of the 1950s and 1960s. Yes, I know
it sounds a little weird.

Kara will over time soften about Bruce too. But Kara doesn't have all that much admiration for Bruce, she calls him Lucifer. Partly that is because of
Bruce's sexual reputation, but also because as she is growing in being Richard's girlfirend/wife she is not at all happy that he fought crime at 8. Yes, I also
lowered that age when he fought crime. Personal choice, but also because Robin in the 1940s was quite small.

JSA is still around on this earth. But neither Richard or Kara are much interested in them. But they do get sucked into a mini-JSA adventure.

Kara was screwing with her professor. She was pissed off. Here she was having survived crisis, her best friend dead, while someone is harassing her about
some Jamestown colonists. She went the other way. Kara is very much a feminist. Just don't think you have any advantage over her.

The problem is with the actual age of Richard Grayson. If you read the stories from the 70s then he doesn't look that much older, maybe a decade.
But at this point Richard is too intimidated to do anything with her. It wouldn't have mattered if they were the same age.

In the original stories of Richard in South Africa, it was presented in a very neutral way. It could have been that Paul Levitz didn't want to credit
the South Africa regime, but it has been subverted here. The South Africa in this version is the full brutal regime. Richard has tremendous guilt
about that too. It was the one time in his life that he didn't do the right thing. Even worse, Richard could have pulled the temple down. That 17 lost years is very personal for him. It becomes a running gag, but the undertone is well that Richard needs to atone. Whether that means
supporting revolutionary change, or improving things in the United States. Eventually, Richard will become a very powerful media mogul, sort of
a very much on the left version of Rupert Murdoch. It also is one of those things where Richard drives Kara crazy, by bringing it up South Africa all the time.

I won't talk much about Evangelical Protestantism much here. I suspect most people just aren't interested. Let me just say that religion isn't a major focus of the series. It just had to be done in this section. I think that some of the concepts of Evangelicals make for interesting play as the two of them live their lives. Servant Leadership is a prime example, or the way in which Kara as Heart of the Home has the power to basically run things in the house. But the ideas they use to live their lives become ways of dividing up responsibilities, as two very equal people. In an earlier version, I went into a lot more detail about Evangelical concepts. But then I said to myself that no one but me would really care. I decided to be
merciful to my readers by not subjecting them to lengthy explanations of Servant Leadership or how Proverbs 31 women have more power than other
American women in their relationships.

More is coming on Krypton. But my tweak of Krypton is that Kara lived in a region where word about Krypton's demise got out much earlier than
Jor-L's discovery. It led to the coming to power of a right wing junta. It makes Kara a survivor not just of Krypton, but of Krypton society. In that
sense she is like a Holocaust survivor. I get into this in great detail in the second screenplay. It is not as though all of Krypton was like this. But Kara had the bad luck to be living in a particular region where it was like that. Some of that is drawing upon the TV series Krypton where they
had distinctly fascist elements. I just took this a little further to show Kara as well the ultimate survivor, not only of Krypton collapsing, but a society that was exceptionally brutal. It also helps to explain some of the issues with the Clark-Kara feud. It is the Kara who first has this cold relationship with Clark in the 1970s JSA. Later comic book stories softened it considerably. Except in my universe no such softening takes place, that will only take place much later. Of course, since Clark has next to no Earth-2 memories, it means they have a long separation. But in time they reconcile.

Kara has her own growing up to do. Eventually, she makes her peace with it in many ways.

Very wordy? But that is what happens when you ask questions that make me think. I've tried when thinking about them to be intentional about my choices. When you write fan fiction it can give you an opportunity to explore a different world. I also have tried to shake things up so it doesn't become just one element.

[Bored at 3:00AM]

Thanks for your responses.

My only remaining issues would be the "only Robin worth a damn" bit comes off as uncharacteristically arrogant and dismissive rather than an expression of pride, which might unduly sour readers instead of endearing them to your protagonist.

Similarly, the Ms./Miss bit doesn't play as a joke, but makes Karen come off as someone who thinks the gains made by feminism are somehow a negative thing. I think it'd play better by swapping them around.

Keep in mind that these are two of the earliest scenes with your main characters. You want your readers to like them. Having Robin outright say that all the other young people who fought, bled, and sometimes died as Robin aren't worthy of his mantle or having PG present herself as someone who'd be right at home on Fox News isn't necessarily the best way to go about that

[RobinGA]

I don't see it that way, but thanks for your feedback.
I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts.

[Bored at 3:00AM]

I don't see it that way, but thanks for your feedback.
I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts.

No problem. I hope you keep working on your stuff and share it whenever you're ready.

[RobinGA]

I'm going to give a break for a few days.

There is quite a lot. Plus, it takes a little while to remember where you were when you wrote things months ago.

Plus, I have to grade midterms.

I'm looking forward to your new chapter.

I had questions about the whole Superhero suppression law.
Is that meant to be a reference to McCarthyite suppression of the comic book industry?
Or a homage to the X-men?