The Dumbest Super-origin

[DrNewGod]

Now let's face it. IRL, most superhero/villain origin stories would end in cancer or dismemberment. But there are some real standouts.

My favorite is the Human Bomb. This guy literally ate an experimental explosive to keep the Nazis from getting it. By all rights, he should have expired from poisoning, assuming he didn't blow up the first time he got jostled. Even if we go with the idea that he sometimes metabolized the stuff and got superpowers, who the **** ingests an explosive chemical?

[BeastieRunner]

Now let's face it. IRL, most superhero/villain origin stories would end in cancer or dismemberment. But there are some real standouts.

My favorite is the Human Bomb. This guy literally ate an experimental explosive to keep the Nazis from getting it. By all rights, he should have expired from poisoning, assuming he didn't blow up the first time he got jostled. Even if we go with the idea that he sometimes metabolized the stuff and got superpowers, who the **** ingests an explosive chemical?

[TheRay]

Quailman and Quaildog have a really dumb origin.

[The Cool Thatguy]

Black Condor.

Survived a plane crash as a baby, was rescued by birds (guess which ones). By watching them, he learned how to fly. He eventually returned to the US, punched Nazis and became a senator.

Truly, the American Dream.

[TheRay]

Which bird? I believe that was the quail, if I'm not mistaken.

[Jim Kelly]

I like how some super-heroes start with the code name first and then develop the powers after. Classic example is the Invisible Hood. Kent Thurston calls himself the Invisible Hood in SMASH COMICS No. 1 (August 1939), but has no powers. He carries a gas gun--he's like Sandman, the Crimson Avenger or the Green Hornet. In his second appearance, the following issue, on the first page of the story, he says, "How I wish I were really invisible." Then he turns on the radio and a news alert says that an inventor of an invisibility chemical has been kidnapped. What were the chances? He tracks down the kidnapped scientist, Dorn, who treats the red hooded crimefighter's costume with the invisibility formula and, as he turns invisible, Thurston exclaims, "Professor, this is the greatest moment in my life!" Unfortunately for Dorn, the Invisible Hood isn't successful in rescuing him from his captors as the professor is shot down and dies in Thurston's arms. But that's all right, because at least Thurston got to be invisible which is all he ever wanted.

[DrNewGod]

I like how some super-heroes start with the code name first and then develop the powers after. Classic example is the Invisible Hood. Kent Thurston calls himself the Invisible Hood in SMASH COMICS No. 1 (August 1939), but has no powers. He carries a gas gun--he's like Sandman, the Crimson Avenger or the Green Hornet. In his second appearance, the following issue, on the first page of the story, he says, "How I wish I were really invisible." Then he turns on the radio and a news alert says that an inventor of an invisibility chemical has been kidnapped. What were the chances? He tracks down the kidnapped scientist, Dorn, who treats the red hooded crimefighter's costume with the invisibility formula and, as he turns invisible, Thurston exclaims, "Professor, this is the greatest moment in my life!" Unfortunately for Dorn, the Invisible Hood isn't successful in rescuing him from his captors as the professor is shot down and dies in Thurston's arms. But that's all right, because at least Thurston got to be invisible which is all he ever wanted.

That's amazingly atrocious. I love it!

[DrNewGod]

Quailman and Quaildog have a really dumb origin.

Expand please?

[CaptCleghorn]

Captain Cleghorn was bitten by a radioactive comic book. 'Nuff said.

[babyblob]

Captain Cleghorn was bitten by a radioactive comic book. 'Nuff said.

This may be the most reasonable thing I have read on this board.

[ed2962]

The Whizzer

He and and a friend are exploring in the jungle. He gets bitten by a poisonous snake. In order to save him, the friend gives him a transfusion of mongoose blood. The transfusion not only cured him, but gave him super speed like The Flash!

[babyblob]

I always thought that Elongated man was kind of dumb.

Then in The Silver Age Flash as Flash was explaining to Wally West how he got his powers while standing next to a shelf full of chemicals. The exact same freaken thing happens. And that one in a million chance of gaining powers happened twice to two people in the same way in the same room!

[worstblogever]

I have two submisssions:

The Abominatrix trying to find a "cure" for PMS (which is a normal thing for women) using the highly proven and not-at-all unstable treatment of gamma radiation.

And of course, Snowflame whose super-origin is just the Dr. Rockso of Metalocalypse strategy of doing a lot of cocaine.

[TheRay]

Expand please?

It was more of an extremely lame joke, but I'll give it a shot. He's an alien.

[DrNewGod]

Black Condor.

Survived a plane crash as a baby, was rescued by birds (guess which ones). By watching them, he learned how to fly. He eventually returned to the US, punched Nazis and became a senator.

Truly, the American Dream.

Better yet, he became a senator by taking over the identity of a duly elected senator, who conveniently died, and even more conveniently, looked just like him.