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  1. #1
    Voice of the Authorities Cleric of Hell’s Brigade's Avatar
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    Default Congrats on the new job! Hope you survive…….

    Congratulations!!!!!!!


    A friendly neighborhood deity has selected you, yes you right there, for some intergalactic/pan-dimensional job training!

    Exciting right?

    What? No, you don’t get a choice. Sorry, no, that’s not in the cards. You might get a reward though if you survive it all. Fine, I’ll pick the location but you pick the job, ok?


    With your current knowledge, how well do you manage to perform your chosen job and how do you survive? Each one lasts one year and you cannot get fired from it/quit.

    -Arkham Asylum (DC comics)

    -Gotham Police Department (DC comics)

    -LexCorp (DC comics)

    -Daily Bugle (Marvel comics)

    -X-Mansion (Marvel comics)

    -MCU Shield or Sword (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

    -Eureka (TV show Eureka)

    -Star Labs (CW Flash TV show)

    -Star City Police Department (CW Arrow TV show)

    -Star Trek Federation (pick which era/show/ship)

    -Leaf Village (Naruto)

    -Winterfell (Game of Thrones TV show)

    -Kings Landing (Game of Thrones TV show)

    -Death Star (Star Wars)

    -Tatooine (Star Wars)

    Feel free to add your own.
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  2. #2
    Mighty Member Shai-Hulud's Avatar
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    -Star Trek Federation (pick which era/show/ship)

    This would be the most survivable, if it's the Enterprise D, which is full of civilians. I suppose I could be a teacher for the older kids or a food server in Ten Forward?

    -Death Star (Star Wars)

    There's got to be a job where you just sit around at a console and nothing much happens. Those guys with the salad bowls on their heads, what are they called? I'm pretty sure I could manage that and survive, as long as those awful rebels don't blow the place up.

    Of course, since I know how the rebs are going to attack, I could score massive brownie points with Grand Moff Tarkin by spilling the beans....

    And I would definitely do that seeing how the recent sequels turned out. Yes, save the Death Star, save the Empire, change the timeline.

    Done deal.

  3. #3
    E-Liter3K Scoped Headshot The MunchKING's Avatar
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    The MunchKING could SURVIVE most of them (although the Death Star WOULD have to be by going AWOL just before they attack the Rebels), but given his tendency towards a interplanetary scaled ego and use of violence as an acceptable means of problem solving, he might have trouble with getting FIRED no matter who he's working for.
    The MunchKING is Back! And he is AWSOME!

  4. #4
    Invincible Jersey Girl Tami's Avatar
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    -Leaf Village (Naruto)

    It might be cool to be a Ninja Librarian

    edit: If you want to know more about Ninja Librarians, look it up on Google.
    Last edited by Tami; 09-18-2021 at 10:26 AM.
    Original join date: 11/23/2004
    Eclectic Connoisseur of all things written, drawn, or imaginatively created.

  5. #5
    Astonishing Member T51R's Avatar
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    Star Trek Earth, Picard Era. I'd probably be holed up on Earth researching Travelers(and how to open the Eye of Terror in Trekspace)

  6. #6
    A Wearied Madness Vakanai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    Congratulations!!!!!!!


    A friendly neighborhood deity has selected you, yes you right there, for some intergalactic/pan-dimensional job training!

    Exciting right?

    What? No, you don’t get a choice. Sorry, no, that’s not in the cards. You might get a reward though if you survive it all. Fine, I’ll pick the location but you pick the job, ok?


    With your current knowledge, how well do you manage to perform your chosen job and how do you survive? Each one lasts one year and you cannot get fired from it/quit.

    -Arkham Asylum (DC comics)
    Alright, I pick the job of being Joker. Sure, I'll get a few broke bones screwing with Batman, but thanks to plot armor I'm immortal!

    -Gotham Police Department (DC comics)
    I'm Commissioner Jim Gordon.

    -LexCorp (DC comics)
    I'm CEO Lex Luthor.

    -Daily Bugle (Marvel comics)
    Photographer Peter Parker.

    -X-Mansion (Marvel comics)
    I'm the resident Grim Reaper. I mean, the revolving door to the afterlife with these people will keep me busy, but eh.


    You see where I'm going here. Hey, the deity didn't rule out being other people in the whole job dealie. If they're a deity they should make it doable.

  7. #7
    Spectacularly Neurotic Sharkerbob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    With your current knowledge, how well do you manage to perform your chosen job and how do you survive? Each one lasts one year and you cannot get fired from it/quit.
    I can still get "early retirement", though, right?


    -Arkham Asylum (DC comics)
    Lunch staff. Spend the year learning the most effective ways to mass-poison people, and poison all the inmates. Reveal that I was working for Necron this whole time, and was just recruiting them into the Black Lantern Army. Collect bag of money from Necron.


    -Gotham Police Department (DC comics)
    Dispatch. Spend the year learning the most effectively way to mass-trick the whole police force into the sewers. Purchase discount Bane Mask from Amazon, and enact sewer plan. Pretend I have a nuclear bomb, and get some guys to drive around a dummy truck while holding Gotham for ransom. Sneak into sewers and rejoin the cops, pretending like I'd been lost for a few days during the initial trickery. Sit on my ass for a few days until Batman discovers the bomb is fake. Collect backpay for my smelly vacation. Forget I'm still wearing my Bane Mask, but by the time anyone figures out it's not just a poo-smell blocker, I'm already hopping off to the next job.


    -LexCorp (DC comics)
    Data entry position. Use LexCorp property to study the pornography of the DC Universe while getting wage cucked.


    -Daily Bugle (Marvel comics)
    Proofreader. Farm all my work out to Grammarly and Microsoft Word's Spellchecker. Also start an opinion/gossip column about the private lives of superheroes under the pen name "Haharnem Smartly".


    -X-Mansion (Marvel comics)
    Anti-Mutant Protestor that pickets the Mansions gate entrance, but my slogans are actually just secret viral marketing memes so I'm getting discrete sponsor payments, and Professor X pays me under the table to make the Friends of Humanity look stupid.


    -MCU Shield or Sword (Marvel Cinematic Universe)
    Security detail for SHIELD, guarding their arsenal. Spend year doing my job with stellar performance, then on my last day, flip all the batteries around in all the devices and weapons, in exchange for a bag of money from A.I.M.


    -Star Trek Federation (pick which era/show/ship)
    Original Series, data entry for logging information on new discoveries. Absolutely wreck the timeline by spoiling as much as possible about future threats, such as the Borg, the Mirror Universe, V'Ger, the Whale Ship, the Crystaline Entity, Vulcan getting blowed up, etc. Take a bag of money from Q for providing yet another alternate timeline for lulz.


    -Leaf Village (Naruto)
    Take some scrub-tier merchant job, and then get the fuck outta dodge before the Big Shit starts hitting. Get kunai'd by some random enemy ninja-bandit before I'm ten miles from the village, probably.


    -Winterfell (Game of Thrones TV show)
    Dirt farmer. Get killed in a random raid, just as my character begins to get interesting.


    -Kings Landing (Game of Thrones TV show)
    Same.


    -Death Star (Star Wars)
    The Emperor. Attempt to parlay with the Jedi and broker a more peaceful solution to dealing with the problems of the galaxy, and return democracy to the galaxy. Begin reconfiguration of Death Star as planetary defense stations from extra-galactic threats and patent the technoloy. Sell for quintrillions of dollars, and use lobbying to re-establish control under dubious, but totally legal means. Get executed by the working class after I become the richest being in the universe. Come back as Force Ghost and blow a raspberry at them all, right before jumping to the next job.


    -Tatooine (Star Wars)
    Farm moisture and ignore all calls to adventure from suspicious old men and wandering droids.

  8. #8
    E-Liter3K Scoped Headshot The MunchKING's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharkerbob View Post
    The Emperor. Attempt to parlay with the Jedi and broker a more peaceful solution to dealing with the problems of the galaxy, and return democracy to the galaxy. Begin reconfiguration of Death Star as planetary defense stations from extra-galactic threats and patent the technoloy. Sell for quintrillions of dollars, and use lobbying to re-establish control under dubious, but totally legal means. Get executed by the working class after I become the richest being in the universe. Come back as Force Ghost and blow a raspberry at them all, right before jumping to the next job.
    A) He didn't work on the Death Star. He wasn't even in that movie.

    B) The Death Star's tech was AFAIK just existent tech scaled up. Nothing to patent.
    The MunchKING is Back! And he is AWSOME!

  9. #9
    Spectacularly Neurotic Sharkerbob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The MunchKING View Post
    A) He didn't work on the Death Star. He wasn't even in that movie.

    B) The Death Star's tech was AFAIK just existent tech scaled up. Nothing to patent.
    A) It just sez "Star Wars", I'm interpreting that as the whole series. :B

    B) I use my Sith Mind Control to get a lawyer to figure out how to patent it. :B

  10. #10
    E-Liter3K Scoped Headshot The MunchKING's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharkerbob View Post
    A) It just sez "Star Wars", I'm interpreting that as the whole series. :B
    But it does say "Death Star". And he didn't show up until DS2.
    The MunchKING is Back! And he is AWSOME!

  11. #11
    Voice of the Authorities Cleric of Hell’s Brigade's Avatar
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    Hilarious though.

    I’ll allow it.
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  12. #12
    E-Liter3K Scoped Headshot The MunchKING's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    Each one lasts one year and you cannot get fired from it/quit.
    I missed the "Cannot be fired" part, so ol' Munchy might have a chance at keeping the jobs for a whole year.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Arkham Asylum (DC comics)
    Well as he has no psychology skills, and probably isn't great at teaching a useful trade, that means he's on the Brute Squad.

    I believe they already did an episode of the cartoon about that.

    Rehabilitation may not be what he's going for, but recidivism will probably go way down. If for no other reason than you have to get out to commit more crimes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Gotham Police Department (DC comics)
    Alot of the above, but with more paperwork. On the plus side, when HE shoots at a criminal, he could actually hit them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -LexCorp (DC comics)
    Probably gets put in the "Noble hero" section of the PR department. Like those Lex-Suit guys that saved people so Lex looks good, because Lex doesn't want to aggro a powerful merc.

    Although if Lex DOES try to recruit The MunchKING into his private "kill Superman" hit squad there's all kinds of wacky shenanigans The MunchKING could do to "fulfil orders" while actually exposing that Lex Corp was behind it. Hopefully the new management would have a spot for a merc still.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Daily Bugle (Marvel comics)
    Well if Clark thought HE was fast at getting to stories... (Or was the only Superhero using it for cover).

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -X-Mansion (Marvel comics)
    Well they've already got Wolverine for all their "beat up the kids" needs, I mean "Self-Defense classes". SO again with Security? Or like a hired mercenary for their actually violent missions?

    Also I guess a long-range teleporter would save a lot on Jet Fuel.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -MCU Shield or Sword (Marvel Cinematic Universe)
    Nick probably tries to shove him off on the Avengers at some point. If my contract is too Iron-clad to allow an actual transfer, he sends me in a liaison or attaché or something.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Eureka (TV show Eureka)
    I get to hang out with a dragon and show off magic to a cute apprentice magic girl. What's even supposed to kill me here? Batty's flying wasn't THAT bad.

    Oh wait, that was two "e"s in the middle there.

    What was Eureka?

    Oh a nerdy tech company that occasionally makes super dangerous stuff? Maybe I can get a job as the Voice of Reason to keep all the Mads in line.

    If not, my fists and a little bit of Martial Law will keep them in line.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Star Labs (CW Flash TV show)
    Oooooh, can they give ME Flash powers? I mean not that I really NEED them, but powers on the powerset.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Star City Police Department (CW Arrow TV show)
    I'm here to eat donuts and kick criminal butt, and I'm ALL out of Donuts!

    Bad guy: Here, have some maple Glazed.

    MK: Cool! Nonviolent arrests it is!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Star Trek Federation (pick which era/show/ship)
    Kirk probably wouldn't like someone that fought more sensibly than him, Picard was a pacifist, and NONE of them would like him summoning Ancient Gods to fight in their "too advanced for such primitive superstition" culture.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Leaf Village (Naruto)
    Oh boy! Time to dust off the Ninja job set! Nin, nin!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Winterfell (Game of Thrones TV show)
    I never watched that show. Who needs muscle and highly powered combat magics in this neck of the woods?


    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Kings Landing (Game of Thrones TV show)
    Oh they're going to THINK "King's Landing" when I drop a Chocobo on him.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Death Star (Star Wars)
    As I said a bit of AWOL before we actually hit Yavin 4.

    Heck I got Job Security, they can't fire me even in the face of Dereliction of Duty! And I absorb Lightning and don't need to breathe, so they're 0-2 on lethal punishments too!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Tatooine (Star Wars)
    Jabba or the beleaguered Empire trying to project force on a backwater?

    Not working for Wuher, though! Noone THAT knee-jerk anti-droid is a friend of a Final Fantasy Legends 2 main!

    Jabba probably pays better AND respects that I could murder him and everyone trying to assassinate and/or kill him in under a minute.

    Hope that year doesn't include when Luke and Leia try to bust their friends out though. It'll be really annoying trying to collect checks when your boss has been strangled and all his gear has been blown up.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    Feel free to add your own.
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    The MunchKING is Back! And he is AWSOME!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharkerbob View Post
    Lunch staff. Spend the year learning the most effective ways to mass-poison people, and poison all the inmates. Reveal that I was working for Necron this whole time, and was just recruiting them into the Black Lantern Army. Collect bag of money from Necron.
    I do something similar, only with tranquilizers/anti-psychotics so they don't cause trouble.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sharkerbob View Post
    Original Series, data entry for logging information on new discoveries. Absolutely wreck the timeline by spoiling as much as possible about future threats, such as the Borg, the Mirror Universe, V'Ger, the Whale Ship, the Crystaline Entity, Vulcan getting blowed up, etc. Take a bag of money from Q for providing yet another alternate timeline for lulz.
    Same idea, different motive. I'll probably get promoted to some kind of advisory position.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sharkerbob View Post
    Dirt farmer. Get killed in a random raid, just as my character begins to get interesting.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sharkerbob View Post
    Same.
    Same job, different outcome. I'm-a get the fuck outta dodge soon as shit starts getting real.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sharkerbob View Post
    Farm moisture and ignore all calls to adventure from suspicious old men and wandering droids.
    I'll go, but first I'm gonna warn my aunt and uncle to hide someplace safe if they see anyone in white armor.

  14. #14
    Astonishing Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post

    -Leaf Village (Naruto)
    .
    Query: When we say "Naruto" are we talking the entire universe, including the spin-off, boruto?

    IE. Are we talking the span of time he was born, to the span of time his series ends, or until Boruto begins, or is any timeframe in universe fair game?

  15. #15
    Voice of the Authorities Cleric of Hell’s Brigade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miburo View Post
    Query: When we say "Naruto" are we talking the entire universe, including the spin-off, boruto?

    IE. Are we talking the span of time he was born, to the span of time his series ends, or until Boruto begins, or is any timeframe in universe fair game?
    Any time frame.
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