I just want to say one last thing, because no doubt I won't get another chance. Nor do I want to keep talking about it because it is so deeply hard. it's time for me to take my life back and finally breathe again after all these years.
Also this has gratefully been handed over to the appropriate people now.
I did not chose to come out and speak because of any of the numbers of reasons people will and have wanted to guess.
It's much more complicated than that. Nor is it because "work has dried up" I have declined more films this year than in my whole career.
If you just look under the surface you will see every film I've done announced and unannounced are with the same small trusted group of people, because
I have been too terrified to work with anyone else ever again after that experience...lionsgate, Sony, buzzfeed, thank you. and the producers of the DOORMAN. THANK YOU.
Which just briefly, why would I exclusively work with the same company of individuals, if as the stunt team of BW keep telling people, was where I secretly got injured and faked it later ( the injury was recorded on the set of batwoman and filed as a workplace injury the same day, months prior to the doorman ).
And listen, maybe part of the timing was after being attached to WB's MEG the past 3 years, and having developed JAXX, Only to be told I was cut, a month ago. (Hence why I was growing my hair out for Jaxx and then chopped it ) with no explanation. People forget Meg was the number one film in the world when I joined batwoman. I was not in a career lull.
I speak now because I understand my privilege. BUT I am not Scar Jo, I do not have Scarlett type money, power or influence and sadly I also didn't have a team like her, who cared enough not to be afraid. I also guess i don't have the super power strength she must have had to do what she did.
But I am someone who has always tried to do the right thing and she inspired me, so did the cast of jagged little pill on Broadway who chose to live their truths. Then IATSE finally got its moment.
If I don't say something then what am I really saying. This isn't just for me, this could possibly end my acting career, but it was already ended when I could no longer open a script without a panic attack.
I also had to look at all people responsible and who contributed to this, my self included, why didn't I stand up for myself, why didn't I sue, why didn't I get a lawyer, why didn't I fight. I was tired. I might look tough, play tough characters but I am very human and very sensitive and do not like conflict. I was also afraid, deeply afraid.
I do say this now because this isn't a crazy, out of this world freak incident nor is it even the half of it. I'm speaking up because IATSE and the previously mentioned people reminded me that nothing will change if nothing changes and people out there are even more scared than I, have less resources than i and need to know they are not alone, our industry needs a lot of work, it needs to change dramatically and people deserve to be less afraid. And maybe just maybe, aside from healing me, it might make a small change for someone else.
Thank you for the support but I'm in the woods right now ( literally not figuratively) and i will not be on my phone. Please also do try, try, try, to leave Javicia and other people I didn't name out of this. She deserves better, and some of the people I have been told are getting attacked, are my allies not not my enemies. Just because some people can't be public about their support doesn't mean it's not there.