Escapade's friend Morgan is freaking out about that whole "you're going to die today because of Escapade's powers" prophecy, and Escapade is trying to calm them down. Escapade herself is kind of going through it, since she's feeling guilty over Martha's words last issue. ("You don't care what happens to me, you just don't want it to be your fault.") But Escy tells Morgan that she's mastered her powers and even got to double swap today, so the vision likely won't come to fruition. This is enough for Morgan to do a complete 180 and proceed with the plot.
Meanwhile, Martha and Leo are hiding from the U-Men. But then they remember that they can kick ass, so they decide to stop hiding and telekinetically thrash them. And let me remind you that Hellion could have solved this problem much quicker, because he's a superior telekinetic.
But remember how Escapade and Martha switched last issue? No? Well, they switch back. So now Martha is with Morgan and their stupid turtle, and Escapade is with Leo. Since they gave up hiding to attack, and Escapade doesn't have psychic powers, the latter two are kind of screwed. Which, again, wouldn't have happened if they just brought Hellion along. But maybe it's for the best, because he'd totally make fun of Escapade and Morgan for dressing like hipsters.
Meanwhile, Wolfsbane is confronted by Sublime, who plans on infecting Krakoa with the help of the mutants here today. Sensing this is going to be a hairy situation, Wolfsbane turns into a pack of wolves to fight him. Sublime beats them up.
Martha and Morgan find them. As a distraction, Martha smashes an old brain jar; something Sublime shrugs off, since he could always just make another one. He calls forth the U-Men, then runs off to get some Kick.
Escapade and Leo are fighting U-Men, as well. After getting her ass kicked, Escapade switches places with one of the U-Men, which leads to the other one kicking their ass in her place. Leo starts an electrical fire. But then Sublime shows up, slaps an inhibitor collar on Escapade. He says that she probably has a lot of angst because she's trans and a mutant, and often feels like she doesn't belong. He'll help her by making her his weapon and being mean to her. But at least he's not transphobic, which is surprisingly considerate for sentient bacteria.
Data page: old emails between Escapade and Morgan. Escapade often feels down because of trans or mutant hate, and a part of her believes there really is something wrong with her. But they love Morgan and will do anything to prevent Destiny's prophecy from coming to pass.
Back to the story. Everyone catches up to Sublime, who threatens to mess with them using Kick. But Morgan uses their powers to turn Kick into chocolate, rendering it harmless. Sublime goes on to his next plan: run off with Escapade, so he can torture her into becoming his weapon. Too bad only Leo is a good enough telekinetic to pull Escapade out of Sublime's grip. If only they had Hellion.
Sublime is chased to the roof, where his escape plan fails due to everyone attacking him. During the tussles, Escapade's collar breaks. There's an explosion, and Morgan is blasted off the roof. It looks like Destiny's prophecy is coming true after all! Except not really, because Escapade swaps with them. And Escapade doesn't even die because Leo just telekinetically lifts her back up. So I guess there was really no danger after all. Not that I really care, since even the characters were talking about the vision being subverted long before this "twist."
Anyway, everyone is alive. Including all the U-Men, despite all the fires and the explosion and stuff. Everyone can breathe easy and nerd out about Time Archer, while Wolfsbane collects a drive full of U-Men secrets. Escapade has a cute moment where the reflects on enjoying the sound of Morgan nerd out about their interests.
Later, Escapade confronts Destiny and Emma the vision, and how they made it seem like this inescapable fate and put her through hell over worrying about it. "Lol," said the scorpions. "lmao." Escapade's pissed at them, and Destiny says that she's still not ready for what's to come. Master your powers and all that.
Hey, you know who already mastered his powers and could have done everything better? Hellion.
Notes:
- I love the chemistry between Escapade and Morgan. I hope the Escapade/Martha ship theories are proven wrong, because this is the superior pairing.
- Destiny unknowingly quotes Yoda. Mystique had told her the quote came from a German philosopher.
- Unrelated, but I bought the dogs some toys today. They don't care about the banana toy I got them, but they went absolutely mental over this little plastic pinata that squeaks. They've been fighting over it for like two hours.