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  1. #1
    Mighty Member Shai-Hulud's Avatar
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    Default Hogwarts vs Starfleet

    Not a fight, sorry guys....

    You get to choose to attend either Hogwarts or Starfleet Academy.

    If you choose Hogwarts, you start out eleven years old as a first year student, just boarding the train with your supplies. You have the requisite mystic potential, and an appropriate family to lodge with when you are not in school.

    If you choose Starfleet Academy, you get a data download of basic information on life in the 24th century, and begin your first day of classes as an eighteen year old cadet.

    In both cases, if your body is not completely healthy, or not otherwise satisfactory, it is healed and modified within human norms.

    When you're finished with your schooling, you can choose to return to our world and no time will have passed, but you retain all knowledge you acquired (you get your old body back). There is no guarantee that any magic or Starfleet tech will work in our world (I would guess not).

    Or, you can stay in that universe and continue that life.

    Or, you can tell the Plot Gods "no," and get a consolation prize of two hundred dollars.

    How goes it?

  2. #2
    Legendary God of Pirates Nik Hasta's Avatar
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    I think a large factor in my decision is how far I'm regressed.

    I really don't want to be 11 years old again. I'm not too wild about being 18 years old again, to be honest but it would be less of a culture shock and less weird for my adult early 30s brain.

    So... I guess, what time period of Hogwarts am I going to? I'm not too wild about the prospect of being there when a fascist dark wizard takes over the government and introduces race science and corporal punishment even if I know that the chosen one is gonna win in the end. I'd also be very worried about screwing up the timeline of the books by interacting with the lead cast.

    Also, also, I did the Pottermore house quiz ages ago and I got Slytherin which means I'd be in with the racists and neo-nazis and there's only so many fights I can get into a day.

    Yeah, based on the above, I think it has to be Starfleet Academy. It's only four years and I'm an adult so I can just... you know, study whatever passes for an Arts and Philosophy Degree in the 24th century, do cool spaces drugs and have a good time in relative safety. Then I go back to my regular life again having had a nice sabbatical.
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  3. #3
    The Weeping Mod Sharpandpointies's Avatar
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    Two hundred bucks, fantastic! ^_^
    Why Are We Here?, by Pendaran

    "...the Myths Transformed version of the legendarium, in which the Moon is Melkor's attempt to make his own Arda with blackjack and hookers." - Estrecca

    "...dropping an orca whale made of fire on your enemies is a pretty strong opening move." - Nik Hasta

    "[Kent] Nelson was nearly invariably presented as the guy who, barring the Spectre, made everyone else generally gasp and go "Doctor Fate don't shiv, he balls nasty.", even Superman." - Pendaran

  4. #4
    Astonishing Member Shellhead's Avatar
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    Starfleet, easily. The Federation is close to a utopia, and Starfleet Academy is probably one of the most civilized places within that society. Afterwards, I would return to our world because I would miss my friends and family.

    By comparison, the world containing Hogwarts often seems dark and gloomy, and the wizards are required to hide their abilities from most of the world. Judging by the Sorting Hat and Houses, 25% of the human race consists of sociopaths, which seems high even in comparison with our world. Plus I definitely wouldn't want to go through puberty again, especially in an English boarding school, even with magic.

  5. #5
    The Weeping Mod Sharpandpointies's Avatar
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    Really, the entire sorting hat is an appalling situation, where people are basically scanned then given labels so that other people will judge them FOREVER. Unjustly.

    Someone finds out that you're Slytherin, you're considered some kind of dangerous, untrustworthy sleazebag with everyone looking down on you, but you can't tell me that a quarter of the people (like Shellhead notes) are that way.

    And they do that to children.
    Why Are We Here?, by Pendaran

    "...the Myths Transformed version of the legendarium, in which the Moon is Melkor's attempt to make his own Arda with blackjack and hookers." - Estrecca

    "...dropping an orca whale made of fire on your enemies is a pretty strong opening move." - Nik Hasta

    "[Kent] Nelson was nearly invariably presented as the guy who, barring the Spectre, made everyone else generally gasp and go "Doctor Fate don't shiv, he balls nasty.", even Superman." - Pendaran

  6. #6
    E-Liter3K Scoped Headshot The MunchKING's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharpandpointies View Post
    Really, the entire sorting hat is an appalling situation, where people are basically scanned then given labels so that other people will judge them FOREVER. Unjustly.
    I dunno, other than the Slytherins, all the adults seem to regard it as irrelevant school stuff, IIRC. The only reason anyone outside of Hogwarts cares about the Syltherins is just HOW MANY Dark Wizards came from there, and how much active racism and supremacy they seem to be pushing.



    Although, because they do it to children, it may be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Take a kid, give them 8 years of being fed racist propaganda and militant ambition and you wind up with a bunch of ambitious racists.
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  7. #7
    Astonishing Member
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    I would go to Starfleet and return to our world. While there is no guarantee that their FTL, transporter physics works here, I'm betting that the general scientific incremental knowledge progress would have some very positive transfer.

    I doubt the magic would work here as we have no evidence that magic works here, while we do that physics works here.

    I would not stay in either of the universes as they have planet wide existential threats way too much. BTW, I never bought the Hogwarts evil dude threat to the world. I've always thought that the rest of the world - the Americans, Russians, Chinese, Japanese, in modern times Israelis, etc. would have enough talented and nationalistically oriented magical forces to overwhelm some crazies in the UK.

  8. #8
    Friendship's Shockwave BitVyper's Avatar
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    Starfleet because Picard (or it might have been Riker) once forced Worf to take time off after he'd worked a brutal six entire hours. Also they can probably remove ADHD in a transporter buffer. Also also I'm going to steal a shuttle or something and just make like ninety billion transporter clones of myself. Then we'll capture a Borg drone and assimilate ourselves with his probes and the song of our harmonious legion will drown out their thoughts and dominate the collective. Borg security is terrible once you're actually in the collective, so I figure I can just brute force this.

    And then we'll use our collective military might to make everyone apologise to Bashir for being low key dicks about his genetic modification
    I am a mighty wizard from magic lands

  9. #9
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    Starfleet. But before I return I will genetically engineer Hanma Yuujiro into existence and set him loose in their galaxy!

  10. #10
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    Hogwarts. Being a wizard is great. I bug out during the big attacks and whatnot. If I am there during the events of the Harry Potter books, I'll go ahead and let Harry and Dumbledore know stuff like: Sirius Black is not guilty, Lupin is a werewolf and a good guy, Mad-Eye Moody is a fake and a death eater in disguise, Ron's rat is Peter Pettigrew and in league with Voldemort, Voldemort is living on the back of the head of that dude with the turban, Voldemort has a bunch of horcruxes and what they are, etc.

  11. #11
    Spectacular Member
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    Starfleet, for sure. I would probably get sorted into Ravenclaw if I went to Hogwarts, or something, and would have to deal with Rowling's kind of sketchy (when you break it down) magic theories. Where at least Starfleet is based on real world science, though details are glossed over, and FTL is obviously based off of, essentially "magic (dilithium) crystals", but I could bring back a ton of useful knowledge.

    Bonus: I get to visit Risa and use holodecks, and do all kinds of fun stuff. My life is going fairly well, but... I get a chance to either a) check out a different life path in fairly safe future (i'm in the academy, I can always bail on an actual Starfleet career or do something fairly safe like psychological research at a Starbase) or b) come back home with a ton of new knowledge. Win-win!

  12. #12
    E-Liter3K Scoped Headshot The MunchKING's Avatar
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    Well, I'm not sure I would WANT to go to either without some changes to the Lore. Hogwarts is so full of magic that tech borks up, meaning I probably can't play on my computer, and the Internet is right out. (Also it's set the early 90s, so even if I could it would be going back to the Geocities page days.) And Star Trek world hasn't had any pop culture since the 30s. So while I could see some stuff in the holodeck, it would mostly be simulations of real stuff or stuff from the 1930s or earlier.

    The problem with sending the MunchKING to these worlds is:

    Starfleet has psyche exams to make sure you're cool to put in a position of responsibility. And while the MunchKING would totally be willing to save people, his Ego IS bigger than whatever star system he happens to be in at the time. So they probably kick him out and send him in to the Civilian Market. Also they were VERY nonviolent as an over-all institution. Surely, they're not about to have a war with the Dominion, the Borg, or the Romulans or anything within a person's lifetime! So The MunchKING wouldn't really fit, and would probably run into doing Mercenary work for the Bajorians or some sort of Piracy. But then he can't reengineer a space ship when it breaks down. But he can just D-port out, so I guess as long as it doesn't blow up without warning he'd survive.

    Hogwarts would be very impressed when a 10 year old rolls up with all the Combat Magic The MunchKING has at his disposal. They'd be a lot less impressed when 7 years later that was still all the magic he knows. He was plot-level incapable of learning any other kind of magic.

    Like Harry, the Hat probably would probably have trouble deciding whether to put him in Gryffendor or Slytherin. Does his ambition and desire for power outweigh his heroic nature?

    If it's during the Harry Potter books story line, even if I am a Slytherin and it requires turning my back on my Slytherin housemates, I gotta befriend Potter. I know a Protag when I see one, and they're going to want my firepower.

    Heck an early round monkey trap would make Book 7 and maybe 6 a LOT shorter. Really would piss off an Slytherins remaining though.
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  13. #13
    Extraordinary Member Hiromi's Avatar
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    starfleet would be the easier to transition to and from, also going the engineer route and bringing back every single tech manual and text book I could find would likely have the best chance of making an impact on the real world

  14. #14
    Mighty Member Godzilla2099's Avatar
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    As much as I'd like to learn magic and become a Wizard, based off those scenarios I'd easily choose Starfleet and ultimately return home

    The experience with Hogwarts sounds horrible. The place is depressing, I'd hate the racial profiling, and having to watch my back all the time. I didn't read all the books, but I also found their professors to be incompetent. Harry Potter saved your butts multiple semesters in a row but you want to condemn him because he says a big evil wizard is about to arrive? Seriously? After all Harry has done, you don't want to at least listen to what he has to say?

    Starfleet on the other hand is overall very civilized, you'll learn new skills, see the galaxy and grow as a person. Overall, you have a good chance of walking out some great experiences, happier memories and stories. Not to mention I think whatever I learned from Starfleet would probably be more beneficial for the real world.
    Last edited by Godzilla2099; 01-17-2022 at 12:01 PM.

  15. #15
    E-Liter3K Scoped Headshot The MunchKING's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Godzilla2099 View Post
    The experience with Hogwarts sounds horrible. The place is depressing, I'd hate the racial profiling, and having to watch my back all the time. I didn't read all the books, but I also found their professors to be incompetent. Harry Potter saved your butts multiple semesters in a row but you want to condemn him because he says a big evil wizard is about to arrive? Seriously? After all Harry has done, you don't want to at least listen to what he has to say?
    That wasn't the teachers, per say. That was a government mandated withholding of information and smear campaign on Harry. Most of the teachers disagreed with that; and found any excuse to subvert their orders.

    Quote Originally Posted by Godzilla2099 View Post
    Starfleet on the other hand is overall very civilized, you'll learn new skills, see the galaxy and grow as a person. Overall, you have a good chance of walking out some great experiences, happier memories and stories. Not to mention I think whatever I learned from Starfleet would probably be more beneficial for the real world.
    As long as it doesn't get subverted by worm-possession, changelings, mind-controllers, or time-travelling secret police or anything. And that's not counting all the legit wars they were woefully unprepared for.
    The MunchKING is Back! And he is AWSOME!

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