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  1. #1
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    Default Defend Goku in a criminal trial

    Goku is being charged with everything you can possibly imagine Goku being charged with. The lead prosecutor is Jack McCoy, and he is operating with no oversight on his actions and has access to any evidence that, lets say would be within Bulma's ability to obtain. The Judge is the judge from Ace Attorney. No one is allowed to use violence. You pick a lawyer to defend Goku. They must be a lawyer or some kind of legal advocate, and they may not use any kind of direct esoteric influence on the results of the trial: So they can read a witness' mind, but they can't mind control the witness. All called witnesses must appear, and must answer any question put to them (though not necessarily truthfully). In addition to just defending Goku in court, the lawyer or their team must be able to:

    1. Get Goku to court, in a suit, and get him to mostly behave.

    2. At some point, get Mr. Satan to admit that he is a fraud

    3. Still win the case after Goku finds out, on the second last day of the trial, that the prison he'll be sent to is full of exceptionally strong fighters who all use techniques completely different from anything he's ever heard of.

    Pick a lawyer.
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    Extraordinary Member The Drunkard Kid's Avatar
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    Number 2 is the hardest part, though he might be willing to voluntarily do that if we promise to wish away everyone else's memories of the conversation afterwards. Other than that, I'm not really sure what he's done that's especially prosecutable, especially when I can probably bring out a blanket pardon from the King of the World, God, God's boss, God's boss' boss, God's boss' boss' much stronger peer, God's boss' boss' much stronger peer's much stronger trainer, God's boss' boss' much stronger peer's much stronger trainer's dad, and Ultra God.

    That said, I might wish to save some of those pardons for when Goku inevitably breaks into prison to fight those guys, assuming he doesn't somehow negotiate a sparring based Work Release program...

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    Voice of the Authorities Cleric of Hell’s Brigade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Drunkard Kid View Post
    Number 2 is the hardest part, though he might be willing to voluntarily do that if we promise to wish away everyone else's memories of the conversation afterwards. Other than that, I'm not really sure what he's done that's especially prosecutable, especially when I can probably bring out a blanket pardon from the King of the World, God, God's boss, God's boss' boss, God's boss' boss' much stronger peer, God's boss' boss' much stronger peer's much stronger trainer, God's boss' boss' much stronger peer's much stronger trainer's dad, and Ultra God.

    That said, I might wish to save some of those pardons for when Goku inevitably breaks into prison to fight those guys, assuming he doesn't somehow negotiate a sparring based Work Release program...
    And the King of the World, and the richest family on Earth (Briefs), and the Namekian Elder on New Namek, etc……….


    The worst thing I can honestly think of would be the fact that, depending on how DB Earth’s laws work, Goku is a possible illegal immigrant? Technically refugee I suppose.

    Though Jack’s a good enough prosecutor that he might be able to wrangle up endangering the Earth as a charge somehow. But again, Goku has a crap ton of character witnesses for his defense.
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  4. #4

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    "Mr. Son, do you think a genocidal planet broker deserves a fair fight?"

    "Mr. Son, do you believe a genetically engineered people-eating monster deserves to train for a fight?"

    "Answer the question, Mr. Son, did the primordial magic bubblegum monster deserve reincarnation?!"

    "YES THEY DESERVED TO FIGHT, AND I HOPE THEY TRAIN IN HELL!"

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    Voice of the Authorities Cleric of Hell’s Brigade's Avatar
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    So, with a bit of further thought, these are the crimes Goku could, potentially, be charged with if my memory serves. Some of them probably won’t fly because DB Earth is…weird, and the statute of limitations might also be weird.

    -Illegal immigrant/refugee
    -Murder (his grandpa Gohan)
    -Animal cruelty (hunting and killing animals off season, cutting tails off, etc….)
    -Poaching
    -Theft
    -Kidnapping
    -Sexual misconduct (he did touch Bulma inappropriately as a child IIRC)
    -Public indecency
    -Disturbing the peace
    -Illegally flying through restricted airspace?
    -Illegal crossing of borders (not sure since there appears to be a World President, but some few kingdoms also exist, so maybe?)
    -Destruction of public property
    -Disorderly conduct
    -Reckless endangerment
    -Destruction of Ancient ruins/heritage sites
    -Tomb raiding
    -Child endangerment
    -Planetary endangerment (that a law?)
    -Fighting a terrorist organization without the governments’ consent (RRA).
    -Harboring a terrorist/fugitive/known criminal
    -Aiding/Abetting a criminal
    -Supporting vigilantism
    -Vigilantism (kind of)
    -Vagrancy
    -Tresspassing
    -Breaking and Entering
    -Aiding in the destruction of the Moon (technically, Roshi only blew it up to stop Goku)
    -Aiding in the destruction of the Earth

    Any others? A lot of these were done as a child, mind you, so Jack’s not going to get much steam there I don’t think.
    Last edited by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade; 08-10-2022 at 12:25 PM.
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    Voice of the Authorities Cleric of Hell’s Brigade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grampagen View Post
    "Mr. Son, do you think a genocidal planet broker deserves a fair fight?"

    "Mr. Son, do you believe a genetically engineered people-eating monster deserves to train for a fight?"

    "Answer the question, Mr. Son, did the primordial magic bubblegum monster deserve reincarnation?!"

    "YES THEY DESERVED TO FIGHT, AND I HOPE THEY TRAIN IN HELL!"
    This made me laugh out loud at work. I read that last line in Sam Jackson’s voice.
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  7. #7
    Voice of the Authorities Cleric of Hell’s Brigade's Avatar
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    1 is easy. Chichi and Bulma (and Gohan) can get him there looking presentable.

    2 is also fairly easy so long as, like DK said, they agree to wish away Hercule’s admittance afterword (and even then, he only lied about defeating Cell. He was the WMA champion beforehand and he did help save the world from Buu).

    3 is….tricky. That plays right into Goku’s weakness, but I feel like once he’s made to understand he can visit that prison AFTER the trial, he can be made to see reason.

    Honestly, as far as lawyers go, probably Matt Murdock (Daredevil TV show). Dude was pretty luck ass, and his senses would be able to tell that Goku, while a fool at times, didn’t do these maliciously or with malice of forethought really.
    Last edited by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade; 08-10-2022 at 12:33 PM.
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  8. #8
    E-Liter3K Scoped Headshot The MunchKING's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    So, with a bit of further thought, these are the crimes Goku could, potentially, be charged with if my memory serves. Some of them probably won’t fly because DB Earth is…weird, and the statute of limitations might also be weird.
    Jurisdiction is a hard one too since a lot of his crimes were far away from civilization.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Murder (his grandpa Gohan)
    That one's easy (for someone who actually knows Dragon Ball Canon, Which if they are calling him out on it, they do too.

    He lacked the mens rea, the criminal intent, to do a murder on that one. He was literally in an animistic fugue state the whole time and has no memory of it. Also given there are no witnesses or evidence of the crime, it'll be hard to prosecute.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Animal cruelty (hunting and killing animals off season, cutting tails off, etc….)
    Gohan was the one that did the tail thing, IIRC. And I wonder if Dragon Ball land has some provisions in the law for hunting for food.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Poaching
    Again, necessity-based hunting. Also no indicators that any of those animals (Outside of DBZ Abridged) were on any sort of protected list. If anything, given that they were giant dinos that tried to eat people, there might be a bounty on them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Theft
    Wait, what did he steal? All his acquisitions were rightful spoils of war claimed from his defeated foes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Kidnapping
    When? The good people he convinced to come with him, and the bad people he just murdered. Oolong was more Bulma's doing anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Sexual misconduct (he did touch Bulma inappropriately as a child IIRC)
    I mean you don't give leniency to small children who aren't aware what they are doing is wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Public indecency
    It was the great outdoors, peeing anywhere was a perk.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Disturbing the peace
    Less so than whatever he was mad at. :-D

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Illegally flying through restricted airspace?
    -Illegal crossing of borders (not sure since there appears to be a World President, but some few kingdoms also exist, so maybe?)
    Those would need some proof they exist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Destruction of public property
    Yeah he blew up that wall just to show off.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Disorderly conduct
    I can't really think of any public disorderliness that wasn't "fighting someone". What were you thinking of for that?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Reckless endangerment
    He's the one who tried to lead fights AWAY from inhabited areas. If anything he's the LEAST reckless guy in anime.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Destruction of Ancient ruins/heritage sites
    -Tomb raiding
    Red Ribbon did that, he was just there for it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Child endangerment
    Raditz (or Piccolo) did that, he was trying to save Gohan.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Fighting a terrorist organization without the governments’ consent (RRA).
    You NEED government consent for that?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Harboring a terrorist/fugitive/known criminal
    -Aiding/Abetting a criminal
    Who? Oolong? Criminal maybe but he was the one getting terrorized by all the ladies he kidnapped.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Supporting vigilantism
    -Vigilantism (kind of)
    Well the government proved they couldn't handle it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Vagrancy
    Why not throw in "Truancy" for not going to school ever. :-D

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Tresspassing
    The only times I can think of were on criminal bases. Any specific tresspassings you were thinking of?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Aiding in the destruction of the Moon (technically, Roshi only blew it up to stop Goku)
    -Aiding in the destruction of the Earth
    He was literally doing the opposite of aiding those, he was actively fighting to stop the person from doing it.
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    Sounds like this would fit well as a Robot Chicken sketch
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  10. #10
    Voice of the Authorities Cleric of Hell’s Brigade's Avatar
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    -True, though I think he killed several RRA guys too while assaulting Muscle Tower and the like IIRC.

    -That’s true, Gohan did when surviving with Piccolo but I thought Goku did as well.

    -Poaching is hard to prove, you’re right. It would depend on the law of the land. Fishing without a license maybe?

    -Pretty sure he stole at least one or two dragonballs. And didn’t they steal from Pilaf and the RRA once or twice? I may be misremembering.

    -I couldn’t recall if he kidnapped the mermaid originally or not. But he for sure kidnapped Boss Rabbit.

    -Hmm, fair. I was also thinking of when Yamcha peeped on her and for some reason I thought Goku was there too, but no.

    -Still true (unless DB Earth has way more lenient laws).

    -While true, he has on more than one occasion caused a ruckus (even just going out to eat can).

    -True and fair.

    -And a car with his first Kamehameha

    -Fighting people, you nailed it.

    -Yeah, he still has a tendency to be….competitive. Filler, but his and Piccolo’s driving test was endangering for sure.

    -Pretty sure Goku had at least some small hand in it too.

    -I agree, except for the Cell games. That one lands squarely on his shoulders. Raditz era and Saiyan Saga were not his fault, and Buu Saga he remained dead to protect his family, but the Cell Games he endangered Gohan unnecessarily.

    -I think so? I don’t think you can generally actively go on your own and hunt down terrorist organizations (that’s usually vigilantism).

    - Vegeta (killed a bunch of people), Yamcha (highway bandit), Tien (assassin) Chiotzu (assassin), Piccolo (blew up the moon and attempted to kill people at the WMAT), Android 18 (theft, attempted murder) Android 17 (theft and attempted murder) Oolong (conman), Puar (highway bandit), Roshi (peeping/groping), etc……all have criminal history or have committed large crimes.

    -True, but also Great Saiyaman

    -Technically he did with Roshi (homeschool).

    -Whenever he flew/teleported and landed someplace that was not public property? Technically? Not sure. Freeza’s ship maybe?

    -Ehh, when it gets blown up in Super and Whis rewinds time, I kind of feel that was maybe Goku’s fault partially (also arguably when Kid Buu did it and Goku could have finished the fight earlier against Majin Buu but didn’t).
    Last edited by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade; 08-10-2022 at 04:45 PM.
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  11. #11
    Rumbles Limbo Champion big_adventure's Avatar
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    Child endangerment - he brought his son onto a pocket dimension and forced him to battle a person who can destroy planets with a pinky (himself) to make that kid stronger. That's kind of the definition of child endangerment. The fact that it worked doesn't make Goku innovent.
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  12. #12
    E-Liter3K Scoped Headshot The MunchKING's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Pretty sure he stole at least one or two dragonballs. And didn’t they steal from Pilaf and the RRA once or twice? I may be misremembering.
    Yeah I thought of that as I was typing up "What did he steal", that's why I had to reframe it as "Spoils of War against the RRA" because he totally took their stuff after beating them up.


    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -I couldn’t recall if he kidnapped the mermaid originally or not. But he for sure kidnapped Boss Rabbit.
    Oh yeah, I forgot about that one. And his henchmen.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -And a car with his first Kamehameha
    Oh, that's not destruction of Public Property, that's destruction of PRIVATE property, probably either the Ox-King or Roshi.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Fighting people, you nailed it.
    Well that falls under his general "vigilante license" so to speak. He was only disorderly because the other guy was disorderly first in a way that threatened the Public Good.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Yeah, he still has a tendency to be….competitive. Filler, but his and Piccolo’s driving test was endangering for sure.
    But reckless? Or just incompetence?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Pretty sure Goku had at least some small hand in it too.
    Not really. He just went down in the cave for the Ball, while Blue collapsed the place to try and kill them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -I agree, except for the Cell games. That one lands squarely on his shoulders. Raditz era and Saiyan Saga were not his fault, and Buu Saga he remained dead to protect his family, but the Cell Games he endangered Gohan unnecessarily.
    I'd question 'unnecessarily' since Gohan going Super Sayin 2 was the only reason they won the Cell Games.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -I think so? I don’t think you can generally actively go on your own and hunt down terrorist organizations (that’s usually vigilantism).
    YOU generally don't because they are terrorists and would kill you. But Superheroes do all the time.

    And IIRC The USA had a billion dollar bounty on Osama Bin Laden before the government actually got him. So in theory they were paying out for vigilantes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    - Vegeta (killed a bunch of people),
    Diplomatic dealings with a foreign Ruler. Also as the only guy strong enough to make sure the Sayins don't try to conquer the Earth again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    Yamcha (highway bandit), Tien (assassin) Chiotzu (assassin),
    Only after they redeemed themselves.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    Piccolo (blew up the moon and attempted to kill people at the WMAT),
    He paid for his crimes with corporal punishment, when Goku beat the stuffing out of him. :-D

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    Android 18 (theft, attempted murder) Android 17 (theft and attempted murder)
    Alright, I don't remember them really having a redemption arc. They just seemed to get tired of petty crime and move on.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    Puar (highway bandit),
    Paur didn't have the guts to be a real criminal. He's an accessory to Yamcha's crimes at best.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -True, but also Great Saiyaman
    That was Gohan...

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Technically he did with Roshi (homeschool).
    Well yeah, and Grandpa Gohan taught him too, but I thought since you were bringing up all this questionable stuff...

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Whenever he flew/teleported and landed someplace that was not public property? Technically? Not sure. Freeza’s ship maybe?
    Bulma, Roshi, Korin, and Kami all gave him standing permission to come back whenever, so I don't think those places count. Did he ever go in Freeza's ship of his own volition? The way I remembered it was Vegeta and the others dragged Goku's unconscious body in there so they could shove him in a healing pod.

    he DID blast his way out of there again, so more destruction of property. Depending on whether Freeza owned it personally or it was part of his dad's fleet as "Ruler of the galaxy" it may be Public or Private.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleric of Hell’s Brigade View Post
    -Ehh, when it gets blown up in Super and Whis rewinds time, I kind of feel that was maybe Goku’s fault partially (also arguably when Kid Buu did it and Goku could have finished the fight earlier against Majin Buu but didn’t).
    Sounds more like a civil case than a criminal one.

    Quote Originally Posted by big_adventure View Post
    Child endangerment - he brought his son onto a pocket dimension and forced him to battle a person who can destroy planets with a pinky (himself) to make that kid stronger. That's kind of the definition of child endangerment. The fact that it worked doesn't make Goku innovent.
    It wasn't a REAL battle though, it was sparring. He wasn't going to ACTUALLY hit Gohan with enough power to vaporize a planet. Even a really small one like Pluto.
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  13. #13
    Voice of the Authorities Cleric of Hell’s Brigade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The MunchKING View Post
    Yeah I thought of that as I was typing up "What did he steal", that's why I had to reframe it as "Spoils of War against the RRA" because he totally took their stuff after beating them up.




    Oh yeah, I forgot about that one. And his henchmen.



    Oh, that's not destruction of Public Property, that's destruction of PRIVATE property, probably either the Ox-King or Roshi.



    Well that falls under his general "vigilante license" so to speak. He was only disorderly because the other guy was disorderly first in a way that threatened the Public Good.



    But reckless? Or just incompetence?



    Not really. He just went down in the cave for the Ball, while Blue collapsed the place to try and kill them.



    I'd question 'unnecessarily' since Gohan going Super Sayin 2 was the only reason they won the Cell Games.



    YOU generally don't because they are terrorists and would kill you. But Superheroes do all the time.

    And IIRC The USA had a billion dollar bounty on Osama Bin Laden before the government actually got him. So in theory they were paying out for vigilantes.



    Diplomatic dealings with a foreign Ruler. Also as the only guy strong enough to make sure the Sayins don't try to conquer the Earth again.



    Only after they redeemed themselves.



    He paid for his crimes with corporal punishment, when Goku beat the stuffing out of him. :-D



    Alright, I don't remember them really having a redemption arc. They just seemed to get tired of petty crime and move on.



    Paur didn't have the guts to be a real criminal. He's an accessory to Yamcha's crimes at best.



    That was Gohan...



    Well yeah, and Grandpa Gohan taught him too, but I thought since you were bringing up all this questionable stuff...



    Bulma, Roshi, Korin, and Kami all gave him standing permission to come back whenever, so I don't think those places count. Did he ever go in Freeza's ship of his own volition? The way I remembered it was Vegeta and the others dragged Goku's unconscious body in there so they could shove him in a healing pod.

    he DID blast his way out of there again, so more destruction of property. Depending on whether Freeza owned it personally or it was part of his dad's fleet as "Ruler of the galaxy" it may be Public or Private.



    Sounds more like a civil case than a criminal one.



    It wasn't a REAL battle though, it was sparring. He wasn't going to ACTUALLY hit Gohan with enough power to vaporize a planet. Even a really small one like Pluto.
    Fair points, but for Jack McCoy there are for sure some of those he can really go after. I still think Goku will get by just fine (way too many character witnesses for him), but Jack will make ‘em sweat (the kidnapping, the known criminal cohorts, etc…….)

    Civil case might go over better for Jack, like you said.
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    Voice of the Authorities Cleric of Hell’s Brigade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by big_adventure View Post
    Child endangerment - he brought his son onto a pocket dimension and forced him to battle a person who can destroy planets with a pinky (himself) to make that kid stronger. That's kind of the definition of child endangerment. The fact that it worked doesn't make Goku innovent.
    Like Munch said, he wasn’t going all out. One could argue it’s no different from a father wrestling around with their kid (with the full knowledge the father could easily harm the child) or playing sports.


    Though if the charge did stick, than a whole host of DB characters would be held accountable for similar reasons. Chichi, Ox King, Roshi, Krillin, Bulma, Bulma’s parents, Piccolo, Hercule, Vegeta, etc…..
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    Friendship's Shockwave BitVyper's Avatar
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    I mean this is not about if Goku is actually guilty of any crimes. McCoy is incredibly unethical and good at manipulating juries regardless of facts, and the judge is basically a stooge for the prosecution. Goku needs a lawyer who can effectively make this case and make Z fighters into effective witnesses under those conditions.
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