I do like how, back in the Dark Phoenix Saga days, Logan was shown being disrespectful and undercutting Scott's leadership, and Xavier riding him about it (20 demerits for that tantrum!), while *Scott* was the one doing the hard work of being a leader and giving Logan exactly as much rope as he needed to be 'led,' while not trying to yank him around like a tyrant (for which, again, Xavier scolds him and says that he shouldn't have made Scott leader if he couldn't just snap his fingers and make Logan jump).
It evolved over years, but Logan respects Scott as a leader, and Scott ****ing earned that. They are friends, by this point in their lives, and that wasn't an easy road, because Logan's a skittish cat that doesn't want to come inside the house. And, IMO, it just makes Scott look *better* as a leader, and a (fictional) person, that he's got the patience and strategic self-control to be able to earn the trust of someone like Logan, who is, temperamentally, pretty much his exact opposite, and who, due to his history of abuse at the hands of the Weapon X program, almost pathologically hard to get along with, like a dog that's been beat too much and won't let you put a hand near his head.
As for the other, anybody who A) has friends and B) isn't a monk, has at some point had to be a grown-up about being friends with someone who has dated the same person, or is dating (or marrying!) someone that you've dated (or been married to!). It's called adulting. Scott is very much not an incel. He's had the sex. (Back when Logan was a moody loner who would stutter like a schoolboy trying to *talk* to Mariko? Scott was having the sex.) He'd never use the word 'cuck.'
There's plenty of crap to throw down at Scott's feet and say, 'Dude! WTF?' like the brain-dead decision to resurrect Jean and have Scott up and abandon his wife and newborn son to reconnect up with his ex, but this is nonsense, IMO.