As the dust settled on the battlefield of the scorched Earth of the event we call after Thanksgiving ; Black Friday ...I gave thanks. As the blood dripped from my hands as I reined down blows on some man for that big screen TV...I knew this was just another battle. Another long , hard fought battle in the WAR ON CHRISTMAS.



Santa began this war. The moment he launched an early attack on Thanksgiving and no one could forgive him for that early battle. Many Elves died that day for Santa's blood lust for capitalism. But Santa's greed could not be stopped. Society had to feast on product and Santa was a mass producer of goods as we know.

I sit down daily and wonder how we got this far. Was my need to get those cheap Black Friday video games at GameStop worth it when I nailed that couple with a stand they had there ? I mean...it was Elden Ring for f-cks sake ! I mean who else could turn down getting a copy of Grand Theft Auto V on the Playstation 5 for $10 bucks. Those people stood in my way for that !




The War has raged for years. On the front lines Sean Hannity is sending out messages to Kirk Cameron to help in the fight against Santa. Sarah Palin is preparing to drop dead turkey's on the fleet from her b-54 bomber brigade. To try and stop the assault by Santa. This war on Christmas can not last.

Only the brave folks at Fox News can spare us. Maybe stop this war....let us all hope this War on Christmas ends.