Have you read Riesman's work on Stan? We actually
do know a bit about Stan's sense of Jewish identity. We know he walked away from Judaism completely (both the religion and culture), baptized his daughter, and that he "wanted to get away from it all" (paraphrase from his brother).
Again, this is all in Riesman's book and article if you want to read more about it.
https://jewishcurrents.org/this-is-n...iage.%E2%80%9D
Riesman is a journalist and a person with a strong sense of Jewish identity who researched Stan more than anyone else.
I used to believe that Spidey was coded Jewish too. It wasn't until I read Riesman's biography when I learned he wasn't. Two or three years ago, I would have said the same thing as you. It would make sense
if it wasn't for all the information we learned in recent years.
It bugs me because it's disrespectful to both creators, but especially to Ditko. Think about it... the subtext of "616 Spider-Man was coded Jewish" is "Stan Lee had bigger input on Spider-Man than Ditko." (Which we know is not true.) There is no other conclusion you can draw from that. Don't you see how it functions as Ditko downplaying/erasure? I get that that's not the intent - it still serves that function, though.
It's also disrespectful to Stan because we should respect how he saw his sense of identity. No different than respecting people's pronouns.