So here we go one final time.
We start with the images from the preview. First out is a page that intersects earlier moments from R&G’s history. It’s been done before, to better effect in KT’s R&G mini. Seriously comparing mini’s does this one no favors so I would have advised them to keep that to a minimum but they probably thought that a page like this was easy money. Which it is of course, lets not kid ourselves. Carlos Gomes is not really hitting all the faces here, especially Remy’s different haircuts.
Back to the fight between “out of control” Rogue and Gambit. Gambit tries to reason with Rogue but she keeps on punching him yet not killing him, well not really doing any damage at all to him but doing some splashy punching the dirt stunts.We get a joke about how Remy is bad at making the bed. Rogue references New York but they where in New Orleans…
All in all Remy keeps pushing on and Rogue keeps attacking him with flashy visuals that do nothing. He then gets too close and she puts him in a chokehold. He touches her skin and the memories of them together breaks her “out of control” and Power Brokers control mode. Very handy, 2 for the price of 1.
I must comment on Absorbing man's chain and ball. Rogue is seen holding it after she absorbs his power but she never does anything with it or his powers either. It’s just there for the visual. A fitting critique of this whole mini.
We get a scene where Rogue tumbles over and Remy is concerned, then she headbutts him and we get the scene where the teaser image is from where Remy is on the ground and Rogue is on top of him. The headbut is supposed to be funny I would guess. It just feels tonally out of place and borderline passive aggressive from Rogue. It’s not sweet but rather an a-hole move.
The Powerbroker is tired from watching this shitshow and decides to take matters into his own hands. He doses himself in a tech that hulks him out and fills him with something that is like adamantium and mimics Deathstrikes powers. Deathstrike is there but she isn’t doing anything.
Romy fights with the Powerbroker in 3 pages. 3 pages for that epic throwdown. The fight between Rogue and Gambit lasted 3,5 pages. This is the big conclusion of the mini. This is what it was all building up to. The powerbroker is defeated because Remy picks up a remote that he drops and switches his control of Deathstrike. But first we get another attempt of humour with Remy doing his schtick with the remote while Rogue is fighting in the background. Does people think this is funny?
Deathstrike removes the tech that gave him powers and the rest of the villains now appears again to pummel him while Remy wants to go for Gumbo back in New Orleans.
We then go to the day after in the treehouse where Rogue does her horrible thing that the solicits warned us about. Witch is to control Manifold with the remote and give him to Destiny who puts him in a cryogenic pod in a lake.
It’s odd because Rogue treats Destiny with so much warmth here. After all the shit she has been through, stuff she references in her speech to Destiny. I just think that the writer likes them together, or more importantly she likes Destiny, so Destiny gets a free pass. It’s odd and feels out of character for Rogue. But then again when are Rogue in character in this damn mini? Those spots would probably make a shorter and a more easy to manage list.
Rogue says she is sorry to Eden but that is undercut by her whole exchange with Destiny. If she is sorry it’s not high on her priority’s. She has probably forgotten all about him over the flight home to their Manhattan apartment.
We get a scene of Remy running shirtless up to the building, having completed what appears to be a jog. Probably to give Carlos a shirtless scene to draw and to show us that he has now turned a leaf and is living healthy. Back at the apartment the fire alarm is on…
Because Rogue has failed at making gumbo. Rogue is a mess because she wants to do something nice and she still has the chip inside of her. Remy goades her a bit by saying that they will have pizza tonight. Rogue then expodumps about an unseen Forge visit(he still wants to meet with them after the last time? Is Forge one of those geniuses in fiction that keeps having horrible judgement?)
So Remy charges the chip after a speech from Rogue where she uses this as a metaphor that she bets on Remy and goes “all in”. it’s clunky and not earned but what else is new.
So chip gets charged, chips falls off and all is well. Remy makes a joke about the remote that at least I want to interpret that he suspects her for taking it. She stops him by using her lips. We end with a kissing scene.
The last 2 pages are data pages. It’s a gumbo recipe. I swear, I am not making this up. We get 2 pages of a gumbo recipe. Were they burning out on a deadline? Do they think people want to pay 4 dollars and get 2 pages of food recipes? I am just… comeone marvel!
The End(finally!)
So we end this trainwreck with what is probably the best issue. The best issue in the sense that it didn’t go out of it’s way to trash Remy. Rogue on the other hand has her whole Destiny scene. Witch would work if not for Destiny being a real piece of work and we just have had 5 issues of Rogue and Gambit suffering because of it.
Remys brush with trauma from dying? His problems with alcohol? Either over or not dealt with. In the end none of the problems between the couple gets a proper resolution. They just defeat the bad guy and we should feel that they have gotten that out of their system. But nothing gets resolved. At best it gets brought up in a heated argument and then not mentioned again.
My ratings for some relevant categories during this mini:
Rogue: I have never seen Rogue this horribly written before. She is closed off, passive aggressive, jerky, quick to anger and lacks empathy. Also she is narcissistic. Honestly I recommend reading some good Rogue stories between the issues to remind yourself that the character is not this petulant ass but normally a very fun and warm character.
Score: Have Stephanie Phillips read any Rogue stories before?/10
Gambit: Remy is the comic relief. He is dimwitted, clumsy and a spastic foil to Rogues straight woman routine. As most fools he speaks the truth but is not taken seriously. His explosions are fancy visual effects that have no impact on anything. He gets hit a lot. I think this mini has a new record for times that Remy has gotten hit. He has new problems in his life that are introduced in this mini but are just there for comedy and fuel to the tension between the couple.
Score: Less charming then a tombstone/10
Writing: The plot doesn't really hang together. This whole mini has just accomplished one goal and that is to move Manifold from his base to Destiny’s pod in a lake. Manifold himself was mostly missing due to mind control. It’s an unnecessary prelude to FoX that introduces drama to Romy and then slaps some bandaids and cosmetics on those wounds to sell it back as fixed.
Stephanie Phillips labours under the illusion that her jokes are funny and clever. That her dialogue bounces and has heart. It doesn’t and it’s a shame because so much of the appeal of this mini hangs on those factors. Now it’s never easy to write good dialogue and to be funny but someone really should have told her that she can’t pull this off. It might have given us a better mini if she had changed her approach to a plot that was probably given to her.
Score: Please don't ever write Romy again!/10
Art: Carlos Gomes draws some glossy and beautiful art but he lacks consistency. Perhaps the mini suffered from deadline drama? The fight scenes often feels lightweight, like nothing carries any real impact. Still the man can draw and with a better script I would probably sing a different tune.
Score: 8/10
Overall: Don’t buy it. Forget it ever happened.