While I'm sure you could find instances of "spite" or "hate" if you looked hard enough (certainly have seen comments from the Powers That Be in my lifetime that sure seemed to have a "why can't you get over the retcon and accept the 'real' thing?" tone to them), I think that "out of touch" is probably the real answer. All the pro-OMD arguments basically boil down to "the marriage was a mistake and the Spider-Man comics before that when Spider-Man had an array of interchangeable love interests was perfection." What doesn't really get addressed is how the franchise as a whole does not reflect that alleged "golden age," how Mary Jane is the Lois Lane of the franchise now, and how the parts of the franchise that reach the wider audience are more anti-OMD than not.