Merry Christmas my CBR friends. It is I the man , the myth and self help guru of the new millennium. I want to say today is Christmas and it comes but once a year….and now it’s here in 2023.
Anyhow we all been in a tough spot financially at holiday season. From little Susie demanding that new IPhone to the wife wanting that expensive necklace.
So your stretched for cash. Your like…what can I do ? Well my friends….here we go…my tips to help ya in holiday season. This is for you pure winners out there.
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Start A Fight-
You’re short on cash. Your girl is wanting that new designer handbag for Christmas and you know you can’t do it. So you gotta think of a scheme quick folks.
A guy I worked with years ago at steakhouse told me this scheme he’d run on the girl he dated. If he knew close to Christmas he didn’t have the cash to buy gifts…he’d start an argument. Then get mad and go away for a week or two. Which he timed…around Christmas.
The girlfriend was none the wiser. He said out of the 3-4 years they were together, he’d take off 2-3 times in that span. So fast forward like a decade I’m in post office and there he is.
We catch up as he’s married and admits his scheme worked once or twice after it. The girls friends realized what he was doing and she dumped him for good. He won’t do it to his wife as she’d not play that game with him lol.
So again…this idea is to start an argument over trash , dishes , etc…walk out for days and BAAAM your gold for missing Christmas. Just don’t do it so much it becomes a pattern.
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- Now you’re saying SuperE I’m married with children. Surely what can I do here ? Well let me tell ya…
Since every RED BLOODED AMERICAN now buys off Jeff Bezos , you simply pull up site. Show your wife n kids the order you’re making….and don’t send it in…yet. Just act like you did. That the gifts should come soon ok. For sure they are coming…
Except you know they aren’t. Your just waiting til you can get a little at a time once you build up da cash. With luck you can blame that rich ahole Bezos for ruining Christmas while you can have everything finished by least end of January!
But say you’re just a scum bag. Us utter scum bags have to get more devious. So don’t even make the Amazon order. NO !!
Instead get a bunch of empty boxes with Amazon labels and have them placed on the porch. Then have a friend wearing a mask show up and take all the boxes ! You can claim it was a thief if you have one of those ring cameras.
This will save you from buying presents this year.
I hope you have a Merry Christmas or Festivus. May you be merry or not to your families this year.
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