I think the thing with this topic, personally, is that the times where Jean was essentially denied the Phoenix were very frustrating, both from a meta perspective (from being annoyed at the writers) and in-story (as in having to see that narrative being told when reading said stories). So, when people acknowledge that and express their feelings over it, and you act like this was never a thing and it was all always meant to lead into this and in fact has always been like this even in all the times where it's said otherwise, that feels frustrating too. It's kind of alienating like we're all supposed to get into this same mindset where there was nothing to worry about and those stories all perfectly fit together... Which, again, I understand rationalizing it as a way to have things make sense in your head. We kinda all have to do this to an extent when reading Marvel comics because there's so much continuity that doesn't make sense together.
But not everyone can think like that about all the aspects of Jean/Phoenix stories, at least not in the same way as you, and when they talk about it the way they see it and you respond by basically trying to impose your own views, usually by showing stuff that we've already read, like it was some undeniable truth, err, it's kind of annoying, and does feel a bit condescending, like you're implying it's all in our heads that the problem in question was even a thing.
Yeah, I get that you can't be too cynical or else nothing matters, but in this case, what I mean is that certain things we've seen before, like the "now and forever line", the "I'm always Jean and I'm always the Phoenix", stuff like that, they have either lost their meaning, aren't meant to be taken literally, or are vague. They didn't care about "now and forever" when undoing things before, so it doesn't "prove" anything for present or future stories, you know? The only thing that would really matter in my opinion is if they actually established something new and more substantial about Jean/the Phoenix. Like the theories about the Phoenix being created by Jean, being a future Jean in a time paradox, even stuff more simple like the cavewoman Phoenix being a previous incarnation of Jean, etc.
The parts I didn't respond to are simply because I don't really have anything to say about them right now lol.