Depression / Anxiety issues

[Shishard]

I had 5 bypasses last year and a defibrillator installed 6 months later. Never had an issue with depression until then. Anxiety yes, the year building up to the surgery was very bad. I was on medication for anxiety to get that under control. Now I deal with depression and "pump head" which is a change in personality. I was very patient and understanding but now I have no patience and get angry for no reason. It sucks, we all deal and if anyone needs to talk I feel that is why we are here. Someone is usually online.

[erbine99]

I've been dealing with depression and anxiety since I was 13. It's made worse by some chronic pain stuff. I got ECT (electro convulsive therapy) a little over a year ago, and recently started a new med, and for the first time in ages things are really looking up for me.

[Venomous Mask]

Oh God, where to start? I have severe depression and anxiety that has led to me trying to numb the pain through food, buying (40k models, novels, comics mostly), drinking (for a short period of my life, I've never really been an alcoholic and my liver issues led to me to quitting entirely), weed (this one was difficult to stop), pills, as well as a very persistent addiction that I still have not quit yet. I wouldn't be surprised if I was somewhat bi-polar as there have been times when I've felt extreme happiness for no reason, only for it to come crashing down sometimes only a few minutes or even seconds later. I procrastinate horribly and spend too much time looking at dumb crap online, though I am starting to eat a little healthier and am developing more of a social life. My sleep schedule can often be erratic, and it has been very difficult for me to fix this issue. Politics is horrible for me and my state of mind, but I'm somewhat addicted to following it, and I have a bad tendency of looking up stuff from points of view that make me feel mad and sad in order to get some kind of righteousness rush. I work to treat people well generally face to face, but in my head, I love mocking people and feeling superior to make myself feel better, and that's been very difficult for me to quit. Through all of this, I want to break down and cry sometimes to release the emotions but I've numbed myself in a number of ways and have trained myself not to cry for fear of looking like some kind of wimp, and I'm afraid that if I start crying, I'll never stop. I try to put on a no-nonsense, voice-of-reason, semi-tough guy facade, but that's just it, a facade to hide all of my insecurities. My doctor says that I should severely decrease my sodium levels and what happens? I load up on salty food that causes my feet and legs to swell up, causing pain to my toes. To some extent, I'm addicted to suicidal thoughts, as many times I've thought "Hey, if things get too tough for me, I can just end it and be done with it" or "You know what, I think I'll go commit suicide so I don't have to deal with the thoughts swimming through my brain." I haven't made any plans or really tried to attempt it, but it's always in the background, like the worst best friend ever that I just can't quit.

Sorry for long rant, but I just had to get it off my chest.

[shooshoomanjoe]

I was diagnosed with social anxiety 20 years ago but I didn't take any meds because the lethargy and sexual dysfunction wasn't worth it.

[MyriVerse]

*sheepishly raises hand*

Social anxiety and depression. Untreated.