04-17-2014, 09:11 PM The Purple Skull
NORTH
“North it is then. Good idea too since its on the way to one of my safe houses.”
“You have a safe house?”
“Dude, in our line of work, you NEED to have a safe house.”
“….You’re talking about a strip club, aren’t you?”
“If my calculations are right, the nearest one is about 15 blocks on foot.”
“….You can’t find a nearby grocery store when we need food, but you can find a strip club just like that?”
“Dude…strip club.”
“…..”
“You two aren’t going anywhere!”
“What?”
“Who now?”
“Under orders of the government,
The Thunderbolts are taking you in!”
“Boomerang?! You guys are still ripping off the Suicide Squad’s schtick?”
“Shut up, Bob! This is my squad! And Boomerang always gets his man!”
“Did he just quote The Mountie?”
“The Constrictor’s here too, and I'm afraid you’re all tied up!”
“And don’t even try to run, dweebs! You won’t be able to cross Crossbones!”
“Oh yes! Klaw likes the sound of that!”
“In fact, gents, The Beetle thinks you better get back to where you once belong!”
“Really, Beetle? You’re still talking with that fake Liverpool accent? You’re from Brooklyn!”
“….F*** you, Bob!”
“And what’s up with you guys introducing yourselves and using bad puns? Are we in the 80s again or something?”
“Karl, can you just….okay? Can you just be cool. Just this once!”
SIGH “Fine, fine. Oh dear, it’s the Thunderbolts!”
“Now losers, we can do this the easy way….or the hard way. Your choice.”
“Well, I guess there’s only one way to settle this, Boomerang…”
How is this settled?
Click here for The Easy Way
or
Click here for The Hard Way
Results 1,666 to 1,680 of 1694
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01-25-2015, 09:38 PM #1666Sailing the seas
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01-25-2015, 09:39 PM #1667Sailing the seas
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04-17-2014, 09:13 PM The Purple Skull
WEST - AIM STRATEGIC MANEUVER 12S
“RUNNNNN!!!!”
“RUNNNNN!!!!”
“Sweet Christmas! Those fools actually ran!”
“Well, Luke, it’s like Confucius once said: It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”
“Danny…shut the f*** up.”
*******
“Hoo-boy! I can’t believe running away worked!”
“Like you said, Karl, its what we excelled at.”
“I think best course of action is to run str—”
Suddenly, an oversized green pipe (?) appears before them.
“Okay, this is really starting to not make any sense. Like at all.”
“Dude, I say we take our chances and head down the pipe.”
“Are you kidding me?! I say we ignore this obvious trap and keep on running!”
Which way do they go?
Down the pipe!
or
Keep on running!
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01-25-2015, 09:41 PM #1668Sailing the seas
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04-17-2014, 09:17 PM The Purple Skull
SOUTH - GO AFTER JEAN GREY
“Listen up sweet cheeks—”
Was all Bob could say before…
(And as always for these beatdowns, click here to truly enjoy this scene.)
“We're done here. It was almost too easy.”
“I know, Scott. We didn’t even use our powers.”
“Okay, getting bored now. Shouldn’t we be heading off?”
“Yikes, Bobby’s right. We better get going. Don’t wanna miss the matinee.”
“This Spider-Man musical better be worth all the money I spent.”
“Ha. Joke’s…on them.”
Well at least Bob & Karl didn’t get beaten up by Toad. This was a dead end anyway. So if you want to try something else…
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[Click here to start over.[/URL]
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01-25-2015, 09:43 PM #1669Sailing the seas
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04-17-2014, 09:20 PM The Purple Skull
EAST - BOB CHOOSES SATANA
“Satana, I think it was destiny that we met. So let’s cut the charade already. You and me, let’s paint the town red, get a couple of hot dogs from Grey’s Papaya, and then let’s go boink it out.”
“Did you just say boink it out?”
“Bob…there’s just something….sexy about your crass attitude. I accept.”
“Un-freakin-believable!”
“I would’ve kicked him in the groin if he told me that, but whatever. Guess you’re with me, beekeeper.”
“Wait…really?!”
What follows can only be described in four words...
“BEST. DOUBLE-DATE. EVER.”
“BEST. DOUBLE-DATE. EVER.”
Later…at some really classy, sophisticated restaurant…
“This is a dream come true, Karl.”
“I was wrong about them, Bob. They really do like us. And dammit, we deserve it.”
“Here comes the bill. This might be a bit of a wallet-breaker, and I don’t wanna lose points with Satana if I ask her to pay for it.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of this.”
How should Karl take care of the bill?
Make Satana pay for it.
or
Make Moonstone pay for it.
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01-25-2015, 09:45 PM #1670Sailing the seas
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04-17-2014, 09:22 PM The Purple Skull
NORTH - THE EASY WAY
“Strip club?”
“Strip club.”
Later…at Scores…
“Now this is how we settle things.”
“Gotta admit, Bob. You really pulled this off.”
“I told you, Karlos my man. Nothing can go wrong when you stick with the Bobin—”
(Captain America appears)
“Everybody, freeze! This is a raid! You two are under arrest!”
“Aww sh—this is about the kneepads, isn't it?”
Later…
“The Avengers always get their man!”
“Hey, that’s my line!”
“Shut up, Boomerang.”
“Well I hope you’re happy, Bob.”
“How could I, Karl? I didn’t even get a lapdance!”
Not happy with this not so happy ending? Relax, this was a dead end anyway.
Click here to go back to the previous scene.
or
Click here to start over.Last edited by Chris Lang; 05-31-2019 at 07:07 PM.
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01-25-2015, 09:47 PM #1671Sailing the seas
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04-17-2014, 09:26 PM The Purple Skull
WEST - HYDRA STRATEGIC MANEUVER 3X
“If we attack them together, they won’t get the drop on us! ATTACK!!!”
“This better work!”
“What the—? Did..did you just poke us with your fingers?”
“Did you change your name to Iron Fingers or something?”
Seconds later…
“My legs! I can’t feel my legs!”
“Excruciating pain is surging throughout my body! This is hell!”
“Well, I’ll be. Who knew that Kiss of the Dragon maneuver of yours really did work?
…
Danny?”
(pic of Bob, Karl, and Iron Fist all lying on the ground)
“Sorry Cage. Accidentally did it to myself.”
“Sweet Christmas.”
Kiss of the Dragon wasn’t work for you? Dead end the. Oh well...
Click here to go back to the previous scene.[/URL]
or
Click here to start over.[/URL]Last edited by Chris Lang; 05-31-2019 at 07:08 PM.
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01-25-2015, 09:48 PM #1672Sailing the seas
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04-17-2014, 09:29 PM The Purple Skull
SOUTH - GO AFTER CYCLOPS
“This plan of yours better work, Karl.”
“Just follow my lead.”
“Gentlemen, you better have a good explanation on why you’re here terrorizing New York.”
“Actually, we’re just waiting for our dates. It’s a cosplay thing, hence the costumes.”
“Why would you agree to wear those outfits?”
“Because they’re hot.”
“Speaking of which, I couldn’t help but notice your buddy with the wings is trying to make it with your girl.”
“What? Jean’s the love of my life! Warren would never go behind my back and—”
“Uh…dude?”
“Huh?!”
“Warren! What the hell?!”
“Sorry, bro. It’s the wings. The girls can’t get enough of them.”
“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”
“Dude, I can’t believe we got away! Clear sailing from here on out.”
“I think not, minion!”
“That voice…it can’t be!”
But it was! Standing before them were the deposed leaders of AIM & HYDRA….
MODOK & Baron Wolfgang Von Strucker!
“Wait wait wait wait wait wait. MODOK, what the hell happened to the rest of your body?”
“And aren’t you that Terry Bogard guy from the Fatal Fury games?”
“Long story short, the Purple Skull’s still waiting for the rest of my body parts to arrive in the mail. Stupid build-a-figure pieces. And as for Strucker, his action figure was too expensive in eBay. So it was either the Bogard figure or Darth Maul.”
“And Lord knows I did not want to be played by some scary ass Sith Lord.”
“Uh…huh.”
“Dude, you're not even scaled correctly!”
“Enough about the damn figure! Minions, I give you this once in a lifetime offer. Join us and let us overthrow our usurpers. Help us take back what was ours from the Red Skull and Baron Zemo, and I guarantee you two will be promoted!”
“Take the offer, gentlemen. Or its gonna be a couple of Burning Knuckles for you!”
“…Karl?”
“What choice do we have?”
What choice indeed...
Sorry bros, not gonna happen!
or
We're in! Let’s end their reign of terror!
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01-25-2015, 09:51 PM #1673Sailing the seas
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04-17-2014, 09:31 PM The Purple Skull
EAST - BOB CHOOSES MOONSTONE
“It’s your lucky day, Moonstone. You get a date with the Bobinator. And let me tell you babe, I got me a couple of...Moonstones that I’m sure you can’t wait to get your hands on, if you know what I mean…”
“YOU PIG!”
“Show of hands, who didn’t see that one coming? Nobody? Thought so.”
“Listen here, you jerk. You ever cross paths with me and I’ll rip those “Moonstones” of yours out and feed them to my dogs! Classless lout!”
Moonstone turns to Karl.
“And as for you Karl, let me tell you one thing.”
::GULP::
Later…Moonstone & Satana leave. Poor Bob is still on the ground.
“Oh my god this is the worst pain I’ve ever felt. It can’t get any worse than that.”
“Bob, check it out. Moonstone gave me her phone number.”
“What?!”
“It’s like I always said…chicks dig the Karl-burator!”
"Oh shut up and get me an icepack!"
Karl ends up with a hot chick? Sounds like a dead end to me. If you agree…
Click here to go back to the previous scene.
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Click here to start over.
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01-25-2015, 09:52 PM #1674Sailing the seas
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04-17-2014, 09:35 PM The Purple Skull
NORTH - THE HARD WAY
“Strip club?”
“Strip club.”
Later…at Scores…
“Now this is how we settle things.”
Bob turns to the readers.
“Whaddya know? The Easy Way & The Hard Way lead to the same thing (well unless you picked this path first. If so, ignore this sentence). Anyway, this is the life! Am I right, Constrictor?”
“I gotta say, this strip club has really improved leaps and bounds since they let the chicks dress like the capes. Which is not really saying much, cause you know, strip club. Still, points for improving.
“Oh yeah, they’re really stepped their game up ever since the Hellfire Club became a full-blown sleazy strip club. Ah, this is the life.”
However, all would not be happy happy, joy joy for long.
“All right! Who’s the wiseass that stuck me with the tab!”
“It was Klaw, Crossbones!”
“What?! Lies!”
“Oh, you’re dead meat!”
“Bob, we gotta get outta here.”
“You don’t gotta tell me, twice. I’m not sticking around once Crossbones finds out it was actually my tab!”
Quickly, Bob & Karl sneak out of the club….only to come face to face with…
“Well, well, well. Dumb…”
“…and Dumber.”
“Oh…”
“…hamburgers.”
“Gentlemen, I don’t know where you two have been for the past 14 months, and frankly, I could care less.”
“However, if we’ve learned anything about you two, it’s that you’ve always managed to stay alive. We don’t know if its luck, ingenuity, or just plain stupidity, but it works apparently. So we give you this offer.”
“Join us once again. We are willing to let you off the hook from your past failures if you are willing to do things our way.”
“So what’s it gonna be?”
“Uh…umm…”
“What I think Bob means is….uh....?”
What should they tell Skull & Zemo?
Hail HYDRA! AIM Is Awesome!
or
Screeew you guys, we’re going home.
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01-25-2015, 09:55 PM #1675Sailing the seas
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04-17-2014, 09:39 PM The Purple Skull
WEST - DOWN THE PIPE!
One familiar sound effect later...
”Where are we now?!”
”Karl, don’t you recognize the place?”
”…Oh you gotta be kidding me.”
Not a hoax! Not a dream! Bob & Karl have arrived at…
THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!
”Gosh, it’s like we’re in the actual video game.”
”Thank god it's not the 8-bit version!”
Princess Peach, accompanied by a small brigade of Toads, exited the castle doors in a royal procession as if on cue.
"What's up guys? I'm glad you made it! It's very hard to get those warp pipes installed to pop up where and when you need them, you know."
”So what’s the deal? Why did you send for us? Oh man, are we getting knighted?”
”Or imprisoned for acts of terror or something?”
The Princess laughed like a noblewoman.
"Oh-ho-ho! No, nothing like that. I simply felt a little guilty for not properly thanking you for during our stay in 'Rapture'. Of course, I learned a little something from everyone, and something invaluable from the two of you. So as a token of gratitude to my hero..."
Peach gives Karl a kiss on his helmet's cheek! How sweet!
”Are you kidding me?! First she gives that weirdo Mordin a kiss, and now Karl?! What a freakin’ who---”
"...*ahem* ...Bob," her highness replied, in mere curt acknowledgement. She took Bob's hand and rewarded him a firm handshake.
”OH COME ON!”
She turns and walks back toward the castle...
"Gotcha! C'mere."
...quickly turning around to give Bob his own peck on the cheek!
With that, Bob & Karl re-enter the pipe and return to NYC.
”Now that's my kind of woman, Karl."
"Wait...my wallet. Where's my wallet?! Oh my god she stole it! That klepto-bitch stole my wallet!"
”I guess you can say you were IM-PEACHED?”
”…Go to hell, Karl.”
Oh like there was anything in Bob’s wallet to begin with. Besides, this was the B Ending.
Click here if you wanna start from the top.[/URL]
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01-25-2015, 09:59 PM #1676Sailing the seas
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04-17-2014, 09:45 PM The Purple Skull
SOUTH - SORRY BROS, NOT GONNA HAPPEN
OOC: Reserved for outcome of this scene.
“You serious? We don’t even have a resolution ready to go?”
“You gotta be patient, Bob. This post is reserved for the actual scene to be posted at a later time.”
“Have you actually seen these posts edited with the actual scene? Hell, I’ve seen one guy reserve like 10 posts in a row…….and it’s still hasn’t been updated!”
“I mean I’m sure it’ll be edited in….before Traitor Game 63....I guess?”
“….Well, looks like this won’t be getting filled anytime soon. Josh M must be writing it. Oh well. Might as well try something else then.”
Don't hold your breath waiting at this dead end. I suggest you…
Click here to go back to the previous scene.[/URL]
or
Click here to start over.[/URL]
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01-25-2015, 10:10 PM #1677Sailing the seas
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04-17-2014, 09:52 PM The Purple Skull
EAST - MAKE SATANA PAY FOR IT
“Satana, why don’t you do the Karl-burator here a solid and pay for this bill, huh?”
“…Absolutely, Karl.”
“Wait..she’s really gonna pay the bill?!”
“What can I say, Bob. I can be very persuasive.”
“Yes. In fact, I’m also gonna take care of the tip.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Or rather, I’m gonna give you a tip….
NEVER GIVE YOUR DATE THE BILL!”
::GULP::
“Ohhhh crap.”
“Do you know who I am?! I am Satana! Daughter of Satan! And you Karl: Engineer of AIM, you and that green lackey of yours will pay the ultimate price!”
“Hey, I take offense to that lackey remark!”
“Shut up! You two deserve to rot away reliving your worst nightmare over and over again!”
“Wait I can exp—“
But it was too late. The world goes white, and Bob & Karl find themselves somewhere oddly familiar.
“What the? Where…where are we?”
“I..I don’t know. But smooth move over there, ex-lax.”
“I’m…I’m sorry, Bob.”
“Eh, whatever. I’ve done worse. Anyway, where the hell are we? She said we would be reliving our worst nightmare. What could it be?”
Finally, it hit them...
“Good lord! She brought us back to Rapture! We’re doing this Traitor Game all over again!”
Originally Posted by What The?!
“Oh god, anything but this! This can’t be happening.”
"Hey, I'm Archer"
“NOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
“NOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
Sucks to be them, huh? But what are you gonna do? That was the D Ending.
Click here if you wanna start from the top.
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01-25-2015, 10:12 PM #1678Sailing the seas
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04-17-2014, 09:55 PM The Purple Skull
NORTH - HAIL HYDRA! AIM IS AWESOME!
“We’re in.”
“Damn right.”
“Excellent. And since you two are so eager to serve us, your mission begins now.”
“Yes. The X-Men are currently our biggest threat. Infiltrate their headquarters and get us intel on Cerebro.”
“You got it, boss.”
“Piece of cake.”
Later…
(Pic of Wolverine and Archangel standing over defeated Bob and Karl)
"Pathetic."
“When will you ever learn, bub? You don’t mess with the X-Men!”
“Well, this sucks.”
“Hey…at least we got our benefits back.”
You guys weren’t feeling that ending? No worries. This was a dead end.
Click here to go back to the previous scene.
or
Click here to start over.Last edited by Chris Lang; 05-31-2019 at 07:10 PM.
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01-25-2015, 10:14 PM #1679Sailing the seas
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04-17-2014, 09:58 PM The Purple Skull
WEST - KEEP ON RUNNING!
“There's nothing here for us, Karl! We'll die.......or just get really, really, really hurt. We gotta take the pipe!”
“Screw the pipe, Bob! Our way to safety is to keep ru——”
CRASH!
(Karl is pinned underneath an old 60's style Batmobile driven by a bobble-headed Batman figure. This makes just as much sense with the pic visible)
“Ow.”
“Great Scott! My tires better not be messed up, you scoundrel!”
Bob turns to the readers.
“Yeah, this is a little too out there even for me. Let’s backtrack a bit.”
HOLY BIG-LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT, BATMAN! If you weren’t down with this dead end…
Click here to go back to the previous scene.[/URL]
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Click here to start over.[/URL]Last edited by Chris Lang; 05-31-2019 at 07:11 PM.
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01-25-2015, 10:15 PM #1680Sailing the seas
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04-17-2014, 10:02 PM The Purple Skull
SOUTH - WE’RE IN! LET’S END THEIR REIGN OF TERROR!
“Hmm…I’m not sure about this.”
“Bob’s right. (Did I really just say that?) This has bad news written all over.”
“Okay, join us now, and we’ll give you that Margherita machine you’ve been wanting in the break room.”
“You sir have a deal!”
And with that, a old alliance was renewed….or was it?
“Strucker! We’ve been betrayed!”
“WHY?! We promised you a Margherita machine!”
“Quite simply Strucks, Skull and Zemo us offered us just a *little* bit more.”
“Yeah. They’re giving us a Keurig coffee machine with unlimited K-Cups.”
“A top of the line coffee maker…those shrewd bastards.”
“Nothing personal, guys. Just business.”
“Plus…Keurig. I mean, take my money already.”
“Face facts, MODOK. You've lost.”
“Good work, Bob. Good work, Karl. Huh…never thought I would say that.”
“Yes. You two have proven yourselves to be worthy commodities in HYDRA & AIM.”
“Nothing can stop us! This world is ours! Come, laugh maniacally with us!”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Bob & Karl: Full blown evil dickbags? Yeah, its kind of a downer. What do you expect? It was the C Ending.
Click here if you wanna start from the top.[/URL]
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