What would be on their answering machines/voicemail?

[Radical]

First, the good news: You find a magic cell phone that enables you to talk to fictional characters!

The bad -- but kind of cool -- news: Their answering machines pick up your message (or send it to voicemail).

What kind of messages would you be greeted with?

I'll start:

Jay & Silent Bob

"Hey, you've reached Jay, and this here's my partner Silent Bob. Say 'hi,' Bob (grunt, followed by Jay chuckling) Y'get it, bitches? 'High, Bob!' (more laughter, now hyena-like cackling) We'd answer the phone, but if you're hearing this we're probably so fuckin' lit we're mistakin' it for a radioactive anaconda or some ****. (slightly muffled voice) Hey, Bob, remember the last time that happened? We wanted to dive under the table, only it had fuckin' melted. Yeah, that **** was awesome. (voice gets clearer again) So, yeah...give us your name, number and why you called, and we'll answer soon as we come down. Oh, yeah -- and if you're a hot bitch, send us your measurements. Snooch to tha nooch. (beep)"

[T51R]

Asura: "Make it short. Now TALK!"

Elle Ragu: "I'm not here, so call back later. Or, leave a message if you have MONEY. If you don't have money, don't bother calling back."

Raoh: "This machine is not fit for KEN-OH! Just come to the front door of my house and we'll talk."

Rick Flair: "Leave your message at the HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!!!!!"

[The Dog]

Deadpool: Hello, this is Wade "Deadpool" Wilson, the Merc with the Mouth, the Regenerating Degenerate, and the sexiest man in in Marvel comics! Leave your name, number, and who you want killed and I'll hit ya back whenever I damn well feel like it! Start talking after the bang... *gunshot rings out* I may have just killed my neighbor's cat... Or my neighbor.

Uzumaki Naruto: Yo, this is Future Hokage Uzumaki Naruto. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number I'll call you back as soon as possible. And if this is the weirdo who keeps leaving messages of heavy breathing, please stop calling. It's really creepy.

Jason Voorhees: *deep inhale, long exhale, deep inhale, long exhale, deep inhale, long exhale, deep inhale, long exhale*

Hulk: Hulk not home, Hulk out smashing puny Gods. Hulk call back when Hulk get home.

Kraang (2012 TMNT Nick cartoon): The one known as Kraang is not at the location known as "home" at this time. Leave your personal designation known as your "name" and numerical information known as a "telephone number" and the one known as Kraang will contact you at a point later in time.

[StupidMoniker]

George Costanza

[Beadle]

Layla Miller: I already knew you were going to call, when you were going to call and why you've called. And I still didn't answer. Take a hint. Don't bother leaving a message, because I know I won't listen to it. Goodbye.

[Blackid]

Layla Miller: I already knew you were going to call, when you were going to call and why you've called. And I still didn't answer. Take a hint. Don't bother leaving a message, because I know I won't listen to it. Goodbye.

LOL.... just about every telepath right?

[Blackid]

Hodor: "Hodor, Hodor Hodor, Hodor Hodor Hodor.... "beep"

Groot: "I am Grooooooooooooooooot! I am Groot, I am Groot.... "beep"

[KingEli]

Guy Gardner: This is the Greatest GL of them all talking, if you are hearing this, I'm probably busting some alien heads! So if you are a pal, leave a message. If you are a bill collector, joke's on you, I don't live on Earth, hah! If you are Batman, go **** yourself.

[The Dork Knight]

Guy Gardner: This is the Greatest GL of them all talking, if you are hearing this, I'm probably busting some alien heads! So if you are a pal, leave a message. If you are a bill collector, joke's on you, I don't live on Earth, hah! If you are Batman, go **** yourself.

...............