Jeremi 06-12-2007 02:29 PM

Havik decided to fill out the questionnaire while waiting for Dwight's answer.

Dwight Schrute Army
Official Entrance Exam

Section One: True or False

1. Currently, bears represent the single greatest threat to human civilization. False....Order and balance

2. Whether it be household chores, factory work or the defense of our great nation, robots will someday be a valued members of our modern society. False/True, Depending what you define with "good"
3. Tardiness and wrongful or pretend illness are the most costly and terrible things to affect business. True...and thus it is a true path to chaos

4. Battlestar Galactica is not awesome. True...Family Guy person myself.

5. You suck. False...I don't eat lollipops

Section Two: Advanced Mathematics

1. What is the square root of Awesome? Chaos in it's purest form

2. Think of a number between 5 and 7 that isn’t 6. 5.3454562031233434546

3. Why is six afraid of seven? It isn't infact it's quite the opposite.


Section Three: Free Association

What is the first word that enters your mind in response to the following words and phrases?

1. Bears - Cuddly

2. Ninjas - Nuisance

3. Battlestar Galactica - Rage

4. Anime - Ikki Tousen

5. Beets - Food

Section Four: Essay Questions

1. Which bear is best? Explain your answer. Polar Bears, they are the most ferocious


2. What would happen if the cast of Battlestar Galactica crash-landed on the Lost island? Total and utter chaos!


3. Prove in one paragraph or less that you are not secretly a bear or a ninja in disguise. Or some sort of bear/ninja hybrid. Have you ever seen a ninja/bear like me before?

Section Five: General Knowledge

1. Who started the fire? Midnight Oil.

2. Other than bears, what is the #1 killer of children between the ages of 5 and 8? I am.

3. Who should be contacted in the event of a bear attack? The Tarakan army

4. Who is the perfect female? Me reincarnated as a femal

5. Is Anne Rice correct, are vampires sissies? Yes, and my morningstar agrees

6. Who's the guy who wont cop out when there's danger all about? Hotaru...

7. Insert your own question here (and answer it) What is greater Order or Chaos. Chaos

8. Name three things that can be used to kill a werewolf. Silver and wolfsbane are not acceptable answers. Anything flammable, me and a flock of bloodlusted hippos (trust me on this)

Final Section: Important Personal Information (To be kept in strictest confidence)

1. Secret Identity (If applicable) - None

2. What weapons do you own and how proficient are you in their use? My morningstar and I am quite capable with it. I'm also a master of snake and tung so do

3. Who should be contacted in the case of death or other medical emergency? No one, let them bleed to death and if dead just leave them there.

4. What sort of salary are you expecting? 1000000000 Chaos dollars?

5. Have you ever met Batman? If you mean that man in the cape who looks like a douche then yes, yes I have.

6. What was he like? He looks like the goddamn Batman.