Traitor Game L: Existential Crisis

[Chris Lang]

---

Chris Lang 07-05-2007 03:47 PM

---

OOC: Great pics, Schornforce. Like the Kermit pictures on Wonder Pig's trunks, and the Kermit picture on the Pig-kyrie's shield.

IC:

Mayday continued in the battle, knocking various Nazi troops unconscious with quickly-timed moves. While she realized that this was a war of sorts, she still did not wish to kill anyone.

Danielle Moonstar was nearby, incapacitating a number of Nazis. During a break, Mayday approached her. "So all those Nazi supervillains were in that other universe Traitor Game with you?"

Dani nodded. "Yes. They outnumbered the rest of us so much. It was just myself, Winnie the Pooh, Joxer the Mighty, Yankee Poodle from Captain Carrot's Zoo Crew, The Blimp from the Inferior Five, and Pantyhose Taro from the Ranma 1/2 universe. Taro and I got voted off, and the others got murdered. It doesn't matter what our roles were in that game, because it was set up so the Nazis would win."

"That was CHEATING!" Mayday exclaimed. "I think you're right in thinking this other game was held without permission from the powers normally behind the games."

"I can't be sure, but that's what I believe anyway." Dani replied. "I just hope now that we can finally end their evil. It looks like we have some reinforcements to help us with their army." She noted the various people who had appeared through the portals to join their side in the battle.

Mayday noted that Rocky Balboa was joined by World War II era boxing legend Joe Louis, and that a number of women warriors had joined forces with the Valkyrie. These included someone Spider-Girl recognized as Eowyn from the Lord of the Rings movies, and a few Chinese Amazon-type women.

"Those Chinese Amazons are from the Joketsuzoku, a secret matriarchal society in the Chinese wilderness." Dani explained. "The elder Cologne sent them to help us. Cologne can't come here herself because she's busy back in her home dimension. Among other things, she has to pay for the damage Firebrand did in Tokyo when Cologne freed her."

Spider-Girl noted the Burger King giving a number of items from the Burger King fast food menu to a few of the Nazi troops, and wondered just what his strategy was. Is he trying to take them out by making them fat?

Spider-Girl approached the Chinese Amazons. Two of their number appeared to be preparing for something. "What are they doing?" Mayday asked.

"It is a modified version of ancient technique passed down from many generations." said one Chinese Amazon. "Stand back while Ling Ling and Lung Lung perform..."

Ling Ling and Lung Lung announced, in unison "Behold! The Dance of the Great Fire Dragon!"

The two sisters threw each threw down small smoke bombs, and the smoke obscured them from view. The head of a reptilian creature emerged from the smoke, but as it cleared, it became clear that it was a ludicrous-looking dragon dummy held aloft by Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung.

"THAT's your secret weapon?" Mayday exclaimed incredulously.

"Wait." the Chinese Amazon next to her exclaimed. Ling Ling and Lung Lung, with the dragon dummy above them, charged into the midst of the Nazi troops, as a tune could faintly be heard. The Nazis closest to the dragon suddenly began dancing to the music, as if unable to control themselves. This made many of them prey to the flamethrower hidden inside the fake dragon.

"But that not all!" Ling Ling announced. "We have new variation on this trick, suggested by elder Cologne herself."

Meanwhile, there were still plenty of Nazis who had not been mesmerized by the music. Some approached Mayday, and were quickly sent flying. Mayday wondered just what the two Amazons were going to try next.

OOC: But since this note's getting long, I'll save THAT surprise till the next one. Hint: Weirdopky might get a kick out of it...

Maybe I'll do tattles on Ares and Captain Nazi if there's time, too.

[Chris Lang]

---

Jeremi 07-05-2007 04:16 PM

---

OOC: I just came home from watching the Transformers movie. I loved it and highly recommend it.

Megaman stood over the defeated Red Panzer. "So, inferior japanese robot scum, huh? Then by association does that make you..........GARBAGE?! Megaman asked Panzer. He then noticed that there were still soldiers around.

Mega Man didn’t notice that Red Panzer was charging his arm cannon and aiming it directly at him. “Die piggy swine!” But before he could do anything Havik appeared behind him ripping his head clean off spinal cord included. “Tough your enemy is lying on the ground do not think that they are helpless. Remember that Blue Bomber or it may some day cost you your life here’s a reminder for you.” Havik throws the head at Mega Man’s feet as goes to fight against the nazi grunts.

Faith held the Scythe in a menacing stance. "You're a vampire. I'm a Vampire Slayer. Guess what happens next, you smelly Batman-wanna-be?"

The vampire lounged at Faith but got pushed back by Gan Ning who kicked him in the stomach. “Wait your turn fang boy!” Then he turned himself to Faith. “So what do you say? Wanna take ol’ fang boy down together or are you soloing? I got to tell you he doesn’t look that tough to me! And I apologise for Havik…you know with the whole hitting you with the mace thing.”

OOC: So yeah tangentman feel free to use Gan Ning if you want to use him in the fight…or have Faith kick him in the groin or something. Either way it’s good.

[Chris Lang]

---

Tommy 07-05-2007 04:18 PM

---

Underneath the battle the ground began to swell. It hurled Nazis and their combatants alike, scattering them across the plane. Suddenly the newly created mound exploded and out slithered two massive cobras.

They were followed by an oddly dressed woman with blue skin.



“Yesssss, it isssss I Cobra Queen! And I have come all the way to Assssssgard to ssssssssteal… wait a minute… why are there all thesssssse Nazissssss here?”

“Well, my fair Midgardian maiden, they doth be invading our golden realm,” Fandral said punching the nearest soldier.

“I hate Nazisssssss. Cobrassssssss get them!” she screamed while pointing. The cobras responded by eating several nearby Nazis.

“Wait a minute… bring that one here,” directed to the nearest snake, who promptly brought the Nazi he was strangling over.

“You work with the Japanessssssssse right?”

He couldn’t really respond with the cobra crushing the air out of him.

“Do you think you could get me a dissssssssscount on thosssssssse paper lanternsssss? You sssssshould sssssssee how they have brightened up my hideout!”

The Nazi’s face had turned blue and his eyes glazed over.

“Ohh, well worth a sssssshot.”

[Chris Lang]

---

Chris Lang 07-05-2007 04:21 PM

---

The Chinese Amazons were forcing Mayday and many of the others to move away from the area where Ling Ling and Lung Lung were attacking with the dragon dummy. "This next technique very, very dangerous. Never been done before and may very well be banned at the next Joketsuzoku council." said one of the Chinese Amazons. "Stay back and watch, and you will understand why."

Ling Ling and Lung Lung, meanwhile, were in the midst of the Nazi army, surrounded by troops. Some of them had been set ablaze by the fake dragon's built-in flamethrower.

"Feeling hot, are you?" Ling Ling taunted.

"Seems you mans need to cool off." Lung Lung continued.

Ling Ling and Lung Lung then announced "Behold, the Dance of the Weaselly Water Dragon!"

At once, a huge torrent of water sprayed forth from the fake dragon's mouth, splashing several Nazis. As Ling Ling and Lung Lung revolved the dragon around so that more Nazis would be hit by the water blasts, it became clear that a water cannon had been placed next to the flamethrower. But the effect on the Nazis was what really got the attention of Mayday, and several others.

Where the Nazis who had actually been hit by the water blasts stood were weasels. They were ordinary-looking weasels, but they appeared completely confused and bewildered as they stood atop Nazi uniforms. Mayday turned to the Chinese Amazon who appeared to be in charge.

"What in the world just happened?" Mayday exclaimed.

"Nazis been sprayed with water from Spring of Drowned Weasel at Jusenkyo. Now they become weasels and will stay weasels till hit with hot water. But I do not think they will last long enough for that."

She noted two Asgardian warriors approaching with a banner, which they now unfurled. The banner read, in huge letters:

WEASEL STOMPING DAY!!!

At once, a few Asgardians who had a minstrel look about them began singing, while other Asgardians, joined by Chinese Amazons, began charging at the weasels.

"Faces filled with joy and cheer, what a magical time of year
Howdy ho, it's Weasel Stomping Day
Put your Viking Helmet on, spread that mayonnaise on the lawn
Don't you know it's Weasel Stomping Day?"

All the little girls and boys love that wonderful crunching noise
You'll know what this day's about when you stomp a weasel's guts right out
So come along and have a laugh, snap their weaselly spines in half
Grab your boots and stomp your cares away
Hip hip hooray, it's Weasel Stomping Day!"

At once, the Nazis turned weasels were violently stomped on by Asgardians and Chinese Amazons. Volstagg the Voluminous even got in on the action, crushing several with his girth. He beckoned for his many children to join in.

Mayday turned away from the carnage, sickened by the sight. She didn't want to watch as more weasels were crushed. True, these weasels were really Nazis, but that didn't mean they deserved to be brutalized in this manner. She realized, however, that there was nothing much she could do.

Mayday turned to the monitor. "I think the Chinese Amazons have run out of that magical transformation water. How many Nazis did they get with it, anyway?"

"I think they got at least 90 Nazi troops out of a few hundred in all." Goombella replied. "You'll have to find other ways of getting rid of them."

Mayday noted that some of the Nazi supervillains were still active as well, but she trusted that Faith, Tara, Miss Piggy, Ares, and the others would be able to defeat them. In the meantime, she would do her part to knock out some more Nazi troops.

OOC: I'd like to note that I do not condone cruelty to weasels or other animals. But I couldn't resist working this song into the story. I think it was the line about the Viking helmet that inspired me.

[Chris Lang]

---

Tommy 07-05-2007 04:56 PM

---

Bo, Fandral and Cobra Queen’s cobras had made a massive dent into the Nazi onrush. However as they approached the rift out stepped a short man and a tall blonde woman.

“I’m Dr. Wechsler*, und zis is my assistant. You seem to have defeated some of our vanguard, ja? Vell, I vould like you to meet our latest project. Ve found him buried in ze artic. Ve removed his brain and now meet… NAZITRON!”

Out of the rift stepped a massive robot, slightly similar to Grimlock.

[img]megatronfulldy8.jpg[/img]

“ATTACK!” screamed Dr. Wechsler.

The robot took a few steps forward and then turned lowering his massive head right to the good doctor and his assistant.

“My name is Hana Gitelman,” it said, “And I dislike Nazis immensly.”



She flicked her wrist sending both doctors flying into the air.


*They are from Fables "War Stories"

[Chris Lang]

---

Schornforce 07-05-2007 04:59 PM

---

OOC: I saw it too. I really enjoyed it as well, but had a small nit-pick. In the close quarter battles, it was difficult for me to tell exactly what was going on.

Oh. And no Grimlock. I was having fangasm moments throughout the film, however.

---

The Purple Skull 07-05-2007 05:01 PM

---

OOC: Yeah, that was a minor gripe for me too. Oh I wished there was more Starscream. But there's always the sequel.

---

Froggy 07-05-2007 05:11 PM

---

OOC: I saw it too. I really enjoyed it as well, but had a small nit-pick. In the close quarter battles, it was difficult for me to tell exactly what was going on.

Oh. And no Grimlock. I was having fangasm moments throughout the film, however.

lmao at fangasm :O


and bumblebee was hardcore


Megaman stared at the head.....then turned qucikly and said "Thanks Gan ning? I think........" before having to defend hismself against an oncoming mass of soldiers. he fired off an assault of Quick Boomerangs at the troops, kncoking them around like dolls

---

Kevin M. 07-05-2007 05:34 PM

---

With one lazy kick, Nazi soilders were sent flying into through air by Grimlock.

"Grimlock crush puny Nazis" he said happly.

His attention turned towards the giant robot who came out of the rift.

"Why strange bot look so familar?" he said curiously.


OCC:Hey Tommy, see that movie man.

[Chris Lang]

---

Tommy 07-05-2007 05:40 PM

---

"Why strange bot look so familar?" he said curiously.

"Did you know you are mentioned on 275,000 sites according to google?" asked Hana sweeping several more Nazis away.

OCC:Hey Tommy, see that movie man.

OOC: Yes, I did. I might even see it again this weekend...

[Chris Lang]

---

The Purple Skull 07-05-2007 06:37 PM

---

OOC: Thanks Chris! :)




When we last left off, our villains were successfully able to incapacitate the Red Skull & Baron Zemo. With plenty of time left to kill, Bob & Karl decide to play Hungry Hungry Hippos.



"I win again! Hail Hydra~!"

"Aww dammit!"

However, their playtime did not last long as both Zemo and the Skull recover from their injuries.

"Listen, Zemo. I know we hate each other. But for now, let's put our differences aside and kill these two fools."

"Agreed. I will take great joy in maiming and killing these two."

"Oh great, they're coming after us again!"

"We gotta think of something."

Just then, an idea strikes the two.

Bob & Karl: "I got it!"

Bob & Karl each eat a familiar looking piece of candy before going forward with their plan. A familiar song begins playing all over Asgard.

Do do do dooo, do doo, do waaaah!
It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better in life,
With Mentos fresh and full of Life!

Bob & Karl force Skull & Zemo into chasing them.

Nothing gets to you, stayin fresh, stayin cool,
With Mentos fresh and full of LIFE!

Bob & Karl avoid the gunfire then they suddenly stop. As turn around, Zemo & Skull lunge towards Bob & Karl. However, they roll out of the way. Zemo & Skull then crash into Ares!

Fresh goes better, Mentos freshness.

A pissed off Ares smacks Zemo & Skull right into the stratosphere. The last thing they see are Bob & Karl giving a thumbs up and showing off the candy they ate which triggered their idea.

Fresh goes better with Mentos, fresh and full of life!



Bob & Karl: "Mentos. The Freshmaker!"



OOC: Superheroic - Hope you didn't mind me borrowing Ares for a second.

[Chris Lang]

---

Superheroic 07-05-2007 06:49 PM

---

All the windows and glass shattered inside the Tavern as a tremendous concussive blast erupted. Captain Nazi careened wildly through the air smashing through wood and stone from the punch Ares leveled at him. "Finally," Ares roared, "Something I can hit! Something I can kill! Something that will DIE!" Ares stalked the Nazi as the Captain rose slowly to his feet. A two-handed, double-bladed Axe appeared in Ares' hands as he made his way to the villain. Several nazi troops broke off and tried to intercept Ares but he sent them flying back missing several body parts.

"Nein!" Captain Nazi cried holding his arms up to ward off Ares' blow.

"I never liked Hitler and I don't. Like. YOU!" Ares shouted as he brought the Axe down on Captain Nazi.

"Now. Who's next?"

Zemo & Skull then crash into Ares!

A pissed off Ares smacks Zemo & Skull right into the stratosphere. The last thing they see are Bob & Karl giving a thumbs up and showing off the candy they ate which triggered their idea.

OOC: Superheroic - Hope you didn't mind me borrowing Ares for a second.

OOC: No problem, just had to edit my post to make it work...

[Chris Lang]

---

Tommy 07-05-2007 06:49 PM

---

Cobra Queen stood back from the rift. She had been hanging Japanese lanterns from while her two snakes blocked it with their bodies.



“You know, I think thessssssse look bright and cheerful. But thisssssss rift issssss sssssstill open. Cccccccccertainly sssssssssssomeone ssssssssshould closssssssssssse it sssssssso no more Nazissssssssss can crosssssssss over. Aren’t there Witchesssssss sssssssssomewhere around here?”

[Chris Lang]

---

Indigo Al 07-05-2007 06:57 PM

---

Sonnenblume was transfixed by the dark haired older girl, who was facing down what she instinctively knew to be a vampire (though of a much less fragile class than the ones she typically faced). The girl's axe looked - felt - familiar, comfortable, and like it was hers.

Suddenly, Sonnenblume was approached.



"Little girl, I am Ingrid Weiss, Living Goddess of National Socialism. Who are you? How do you come to be here?"

Sonnenblume looked at the Nazi superwoman in the immodest outfit. "My name is Anni, Fraulein Weiss," she responded, careful not to reveal her last name in case Weiss had connections to the secret police back in her Nuremberg.

Weiss regarded her coldly. "You look to be of pure Aryan extraction, liebling. Do you possess any abilities that might help us cleanse these mongrels and further our superior race?"

"I'm the Slayer, Fraulein Weiss," she responded politely.

"So!" continued the Nazi, puffing away on her elegant cigarette holder. "You are of that long line girls from the world of that repulsive weakling, Tiernan. Yes! Perhaps you should join my Airmaidens! Perhaps you would make a good wife for my son Albrecht - he is genetically superior, as the stud who fathered him was a powerful science-hero. Ja, you shall be useful in helping 597-X conquer and destroy the Pantheons of the lesser races....."

Sonnenblume tuned out Ingrid Weiss's babbling about "glorious destiny" and "tomorrow the multiverse", as her thoughts took her to that night....what the soldiers did....the Green family, to whom she still brought food and supplies, and still needed to help escape Germany.

Ingrid Weiss received a response to her proposal from Sonnenblume, in the form of a swift suckerpunch to the gut, which knocked her many feet back and almost caused her to black out....

[Chris Lang]

---

Kevin M. 07-05-2007 07:43 PM

---

"Did you know you are mentioned on 275,000 sites according to google?" asked Hana sweeping several more Nazis away.

"What google?" Grimlock asked as he smacked a group of Nazis away from him. He though he had seen that robot some where, but could not place him any where.

"Me though you were Megatron"

[Chris Lang]

---

Chris Lang 07-05-2007 07:45 PM

---

Mayday kept knocking down Nazis, and as she did, she snatched away their weapons with her web-strings. She then tossed the various Nazi rifles into a nearby fire.

Mayday turned to the monitor. "Okay, are we making any sort of progress here?"

Kitty Pryde spoke first. "Most of the Nazi supervillains have been taken out. But Faith hasn't finished off Baron Blood yet, and Miss Piggy and Paula Von Gunther have yet to really get started in whatever confrontation they're going to have."

"Then there's that Roy Lincoln guy and Baron Blitzkrieg." Goombella added. "I've totally lost track of them. Even these monitors can't keep track of everything."

"We haven't heard from Hotaru and Kamen Rider Odin in a while." Ukyo announced. "They're facing people from that Hellsing show."

Mayday then turned away from the monitor and spoke to those actually there on the battlefield with her. "Okay, I guess there are still a good deal of Nazis left for us to fight."

Mayday quickly resumed the battle, occasionally running across a few weasels who were running away in panic from those who were celebrating Weasel Stomping Day. Since she wanted to conserve web fluid, she relied mostly on her agility and spider-strength to knock out the Nazis she ran across.

She grabbed one Nazi, and looked him in the eye, hoping she sounded tough. "Okay, Nazi! You can tell your Hitler that it's not springtime for him anymore! And his summer's almost over, too! Soon it's going to be time for his FALL!" With that, she threw the Nazi a fair distance until he collided with a wall and was knocked out.

I hope that didn't sound as cheesy to them as it sounded to me, Mayday thought to herself.

The battle continued...

[Chris Lang]

---

Deadpooligan 07-05-2007 08:15 PM

---

Thorpool rose, holding up the recently hammer'd corpse of Hauptmann Englande. He looked at the massive hole in the wall Viking Kool-Aid Man had opened.

"Waitaminuteth... these guys aren't like regular Nazis... you kill one, another takes its place... it's almost as if they're..."

That's when he saw a flag a small band was carrying.



"GORDIAN KNOTSIES!"

He spied Bob and Karl posing stolidly with a pack of Mentos. They had to have been standing completely still for a good five minutes now.

"Hmm... comic book cannon fodder... regenerating numbers... pale green uniforms..."

He crossed his arms and flew in front of Bob.

"Booooooooob, dear. Mother would like a word with thou!!"

Bob looked up and waved.

"Replicating Nazis. Von Strucker's involvement. Tell me wha--!."

He was tackled at impressive super speed by none other than...



"NAZI SUPERMAN?"

Thorpool nigh crapped his tights when he saw that chest logo. And yet, he continued to quip.

"Are you the Pre-Crisis one gone extreme or some other one from made up Elseworlds?"

"Let's go with 'Elseworlds'."

Nazi Supes cracked his knuckles, causing a sonic boom that shattered all nearby glass.

OOC: Man, that logo took me forever to do.

[Chris Lang]

---

Tommy 07-05-2007 08:23 PM

---

"Me though you were Megatron"

“The Megatron from this Nazi world crash landed in the Artic many, many years ago. The Nazis found him and removed his cybernetic brain turning him into a mindless robot dubbed the ‘Nazitron.’ Since I was here, and I HATE Nazis, I hopped into him so I could have a Nazi stomping day,” she said slamming her feet down on several nearby Nazis. “I guess you can call me Giteltron.”

Meanwhile Bo and Fandral where patrolling around Cobra Queen’s snakes fighting back any soldiers who were attempting to climb through the rift.

They had kept the influx of numbers down, but there were just so many, and it seemed like the rift was widening.

And they were getting no help from Cobra Queen. She had cornered an attractive soldier and was chatting his ear off.



“If you can believe it, I didn’t get many datesssssss in High Sssssschool,” she said putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Nein, I can’t believe it.”

“I think that issssss why I became a Sssssssuper villain. Well that and the horrible disssssfigureing acccccccccident.”

She leaned in closer.

“NOW DIE!” she scream spitting poison in his eyes.

OCC: I am really not sure how Cylon #6 morphed into Cobra Queen, but I like it.