Traitor Game L: Existential Crisis

[Chris Lang]

---

Chris Lang 07-06-2007 09:50 PM

---

Faith watched Leni with nearly sisterly approval. "Damn. Junior Slayer knows her way around the sharp end of an axe." Pride was evident in her tone of voice. However, Tara couldn't approve of the carnage. "Isn't she a little...I don't know, young to be so...violent?" Tara knew she'd been even more brutal in the game.

However, Tara knew that her own violent behavior had been a cruel necessity during her time here. She turned away when the little Slayer sunk the Scythe into the nazi Amazon. "I can't watch." Instead, Tara focused on Miss Piggy. "Go, Missy Piggy! You can beat her!"

Mayday watched Faith and Tara closely. "You still haven't explained some things, but I guess now's not the time."

"I'd like to help Miss Piggy, but it's not my fight." Mayday asked. "I'm rooting for her, too."

At that point, Goombella spoke to Tara and Faith through the monitor.

"Good work in taking out Baron Blood. I guess there's just three of those Nazi supervillains left now..."

"I just wish I could join in the fight." Kitty replied.

"Be careful what you wish for." said an unexpected voice. "You may get it."

--
Darth Jubba's Palace, Darth Jubba's Office

Goombella, Kitty, and Ukyo turned to see three figures at the door to the office. Kitty gasped in recognition...

TBC

[Chris Lang]

---

Tommy 07-07-2007 12:07 AM

---

C.J. was having an excellent time tying up the Nazis. He would tie one up and then the Nazi would float along behind him. C.J. was even humming a jaunty tune.

Elsewhere a small group of Nazis were huddled together.

"Ja, ve need zome zort of zuper veapon in order to beat Can..."

"NO!"

"Vhat? I vas just going to zay Can..."

"Don't!"

"Oh ja! I mustn’t zay Candle Jack!"

"NOOOOO!"

"Did someone say my name?" asked C.J. hovering above them.

"Ahhhhh its CANDLE JACK!" all the Nazis yelled.

"Perhaps you should have taken your own advice," he replied. By time he was finished tying them up he had a massive line of floating Nazis behind him. He hovered over to where Cobra Queen was.



"Hello Audrey."

"Oh, Hi Can... aww you allmossssssst got me."

"Aw Shucks, you're too smart for me. Say, weren't we supposed to do lunch yesterday?"

"No, it isssssss next Tuesssssssssday."

"Really? That explains why you weren't at your hideout. I must say, I love your Japanese Lanterns."

"Aren't they sssssssssimply to die for? Now if only I could get take out down there. You call up a Chinessssssssse Resssssssssstaurant and ssssssssay 'Do you deliver to the ssssssssssewersssssss?' and they hang up on you."

But behind Cobra Queen a Nazi stalked up. He quietly withdrew his gun, cocking and aiming it at her head.

"Do you mind? We aer trying to have a conversation here!" said C.J.

"Ahhh! Don't take me Candle Jack!" the Nazi cried.

"These aren't the smartest people I have ever dealt with."

[Chris Lang]

---

Chris Lang 07-07-2007 11:48 AM

---

Mayday was confused. Apparently, there was some sort of disturbance at the location Goombella was contacting them from. This meant that until that matter was resolved, the Goomba advisor would be unable to give out tattles or other helpful information.

Mayday noticed that a number of the Nazis were a bit fearful. She could easily guess why. Between the weasel water incident earlier (there were still a few weasels left running frantically, but not many were in sight) and the strange spook that appeared to carry some of them off, Mayday was not surprised that some of them would be nervous.

With only a few of the supervillains left, and many of the regular Nazis falling victim to really weird events, it appeared the good guys had the upper hand. Mayday could only hope this would last.

---
Darth Jubba's palace, office

"You know these Nazis?" Ukyo asked Kitty.

"Only too well." Kitty replied. "I met them shortly after I returned from the last Traitor Game. They're from the same world as that Hauptmann Englande and Meggan."

Kitty recognized the Nazi Moira MacTaggert, the Reichminister of Genetics. She was accompanied by her bodyguard Callisto and the Nazi Nightcrawler of Hauptmann Englande's Lightning Force. Also present were two other Nazi troopers, and a dark-haired female Gestapo officer Kitty thought looked familiar but couldn't place.

"What are YOU doing here?" Kitty asked bitterly.

"Der Fuhrer of Earth 597-X has given us a new assignment." the Nazi Moira replied. "We are to seize control of the Galactic Empire of this galaxy. And we will start by seizing control of Darth Jubba's palace and the monitors within his office. Where that bloated slug failed, we shall succeed."

"There's only a few of you here." Ukyo replied. "You think just the six of you can take over this place?"

"We have seventy soldiers waiting in the desert outside." the Nazi Moira replied. "All they need is for me to give them the signal, and they will storm this so-called 'palace'."

Goombella was aghast. "Jeepers creepers, who do you think you are? Don't you know how totally evil the whole Nazi philosophy is? Don't you even think about the people who suffer because of you?"

"Those people do not matter. Ve are the master race. But you may have some information useful to us. Fraulein Tilby, interrogate the weird mushroom creature." Nazi Moira ordered.

Kitty realized where she had seen the female Gestapo officer before. This was the 'Lightning Squad' world's counterpart of Patricia 'Trish' Tilby, the news reporter girlfriend of Hank McCoy.

The Gestapo Tilby approached Goombella. "You do ze tattles on people, do you? Vhy don't you give us the tattle on that strange phantom that is carrying off several of our troops in Asgard?" The gun in Tilby's hand made it clear that she was not going to take no for an answer.

Goombella looked through her green book, but Candle Jack was not to be found in it, since he was not a Traitor Game player or host or other signifigant figure. Undaunted, Goombella searched through her pack, and removed a blue book. "Sorry. I think this book has the info you want. It's called 'The Watchers' Guide to Interdimensional Spooks'. Let's see what it says about that spook..."

"That guy is, like, the boogeyman, the totally for-real one."

"No one knows just who and what he really is, but he's totally bonkers, and kidnaps anyone who says his name out loud. He ties people up with a rope, and they just float in air as he drags them off. Creepy..."

"No one knows just where he ultimately takes the people he captures or what he does with them, but as long as you don't say his name out loud, you've got nothing to worry about. Oh, it also says he likes pumpkin pie."

"Is that all?" the Nazi Trish Tilby asked impatiently. "You didn't mention his name. How are ve to know ve're talking about the same person?"

"I didn't say whose name?" Goombella replied.

"Candle Jack, you ninny!" Nazi Trish Tilby exclaimed in annoyance. She then gulped as she realized what she'd said.

"You called?" said the spook in question, floating in behind Nazi Trish and snaring her with rope. The spook then floated out of the office, with the Nazi Trish Tilby floating behind him, and was soon out of sight. The group turned to the monitor showing the fight in Asgard, to see C.J. adding Nazi Trish Tilby to the dozens of Nazis he'd just captured, and chatting with Cobra Queen.

"That guy sure gets around." Goombella commented.

"Very cute trick." Nazi Moira commented. "But don't waste your breath trying to make us say that spooky boogeyman guy's name. You are our prisoners now."

TBC

OOC: Couldn't resist borrowing C.J. for this one little bit.

[Chris Lang]

---

Jeremi 07-07-2007 03:34 PM

---

Havik and Gan Ning were still fighting against the remnant Nazi soldiers that Candle Jack hadn’t taken. “These Nazis aren’t so tough! And they are so easy to defeat watch.” Gan Ning grabs a pebble throwing it at a Nazi and killing him. “See?” Havik was beating down the grunts with his mace. “This is what is called “cannon fodder”. It’s like an endless wave of lowly soldiers who are trained in the basics and are easily killed. It’s a must for every epic battle.”

---

Froggy 07-07-2007 04:45 PM

---

“Magic is a powerful tool, if you can use it right just ask the traitor witch.”

"I Guess, Didn't think it was real though. Interesting developments" Megaman said as he waded through mroe Nazis

[Chris Lang]

---

Donald M. 07-07-2007 08:17 PM

---

Dwight sat at his desk smiling, wondering if, considering his ancestry, his enjoyment of the routing the Nazi forces were receiving at the hands of his fellow players could be considered disloyal.

Suddenly, he was cast in shadow. He looked up to find a most singularly unusual being floating above him.

"Puny human, have you seen an agent of AIM around here anywhere? His name's Karl and I've been looking everywhere for him! He's been so naughty, hiding from me like this! I may have to punish him! Tee hee!"

Dwight sat paralyzed for several moments, his face a mask of horror, unable to respond.

"Hello? Human? I asked you a question! Don't make me disintegrate you!"

"He's over there Miss, uh Ma'am, er . . . oh jeez . . ."

"Oh yes, I see him! Is that an agent of Hydra I see him with! Oooh, he needs a spanking!"

"Yes, go punish his disloyalty. Over there. Where I don't have to look at you."

Lucky for Dwight, the strange female creature had moved on and didn't hear him.

Look out everyone, it's MODOK's sister and Karl's "girlfriend" MIDOL, the Mutant Intelligence Designed Only for Loving!

[Chris Lang]

---

Joe Acro 07-07-2007 09:31 PM

---

Makeshift Journal--Final Entry:

The results were... inconclusive at first. Peter Pan was banished by the Norse god of Heavy Metal. Prior to his banishment, Dwight had been killed. But before Odin could make his announcement regarding whether or not the game was now ended, Asgard was struck by the forces of an alternate Asgard, from an Earth those forces called "597-X".

What ensued after some short introductions can only be described as chaos. Portals opened and sucked various people into the fray. Powers starting shifting amongst the new arrivals. The various opposing forces squared off with the forces of Asgard, banished, dead, or otherwise.

Baron Blitzkrieg, a superhuman soldier of the Nazi army with flight, eye beams, and super-strength, paired with me. I don't know why he targeted me (although I got the sense that my alternate counterpart had been a pain in this side at one time) and at the time, I thought he stood little chance, as I had once bested him during World War II. However, he had some surprises in store. As the battle waged, I think it's easy to see how I lost track of what other events were occurring.

I moved with my super-speed, but he reacted much faster than I anticipated. He said something about my speed not working against him, as his tapping into his universe's Odinpower enhanced his abilities, taking his average traits to superhuman levels and his superhuman traits to levels that rival the gods themselves. His strength was awesome, in the true sense of the word. I only allowed him to hit me once with that strength. It was a blow to the head that sent my flying. Had he not been punching through a wall, I may have actually lost my head. I was able to dodge his follow-through strike by vibrating, just in time.

In my many years of fighting, one thing has proven true. If someone gains immense power, it corrupts them. They no longer think like they would otherwise. It heightens the hormones and adrenalin release of the body. People who use immense power without much experience become obsessed, craving more power or constantly trying to use their power in different ways. Blitzkrieg was no different. He used a variety of tricks in our fight, ranging from skilled acrobatics (which he had despite being a hulk of sorts) to hard-light constructs emitted from his eyes. Each time, I could tell that he was immediately planning to try something different. And, even when I did hit him with enough force, he couldn't feel the pain. He was just too lost.

I dodged as well as I could. I had to use my speed, as I wouldn't have been able to avoid some of those strikes without it. I used both guns; the laser pistol had little effect. Quite possibly, it was the hardest physical fight I had ever endured. Luckily, the chaos of the room gave me plenty of cover. I could turn his power on his own allies. I could get myself lost in the crowd and rubble.

At one point, I realized that I couldn't beat him in combat. He was just too powerful, just too caught in a battle frenzy. No, I needed to outsmart him and defeat him using indirect means. As objects in through the various portals, I made good use of them. I grabbed many items, some which I don't even recall. Dreadstar's sword and the power gem were among them. In any case, each of the weapons was a feared force in my reality. The goal was to overload him. Too much power could make even a Norse god go mad. Just ask Thor.

Through distraction, taunting, and the help of Valkyrie and Heimdall, I was able to hit Blitzkrieg with enough objects that he lost control. His eye beams fired on their own. His mass increased exponentially. His speed got to the point to where he couldn't move without leaving the battle. As he stood there, trying to hold his sanity together by clawing as his face, he was the living embodiment of the worse pain a person could have. His body likely felt like it was on fire, destroying itself from within. For a moment, I took pity on him.

When that moment had passed, I constantly stole the speed of whomever was around me. I kept spreading it throughout my body, building up strength. I ran throughout the battlefield gathering speed, momentum, and energy. Eventually, I charged straight at my target, the struggling Baron. I hit him with as much force as I could, moving as fast as I could while still remaining solid. It was enough. I forced him far enough backward that he fell off the Bifrost Bridge. Unfortunately, I couldn't control my newfound momentum and plummeted with him.

OOC: Ah, it's good to be back. More later.

[Chris Lang]

[Reposter's note: Splitting this one into two due to the pic limit.]

---

The Purple Skull 07-07-2007 10:01 PM

---

OOC: Hehe. "MIDOL"

And now...the conclusion to Bob & Karl vs. Baron Zemo & The Red Skull!

[IMG]]http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b385/Orlando716/RedSkull.jpg[/IMG]

"Surprised to see us? Well you should be!"



"Indeed. It's going to take more than anvils or Olympian gods to defeat us!"



"Ok, this is getting ridiculous now."



"Yeah, dude. With the way you two keep popping up, you two are like worse than genital herpes."

"Speaking of which, did you know that the Red Skull ha---"

"That will be enough Zemo! Stick to the plan!"

"So what are we gonna do now?"

"I didn't wanna do this, but...."

Bob pulls out a cosmic cube!

"Ha! You aren't going to fool us again with that fake cosmic cube you foolish fool!"

"Exactly. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. But not this time you fool!"

"Oh really now?"

Using the cosmic cube, Bob turns Zemo & Skull into leprechauns!

"Whoa dude!"

(In a high-pitched Irish accent) "Aye. I cannot believe what those fools did to us!"

(In a high-pitched Irish accent) "Aye. I bet it's because they're after me lucky charms!"

"What are you gonna do now?"

"Check it out..."

Using the cosmic cube, Bob reverts the two back to normal. Seconds later, a vortex appears sucking Zemo & Skull into it.

"Wow. I still can't believe you were in possession of one of those bad boys."

"Actually, it's not the cosmic cube persay. It's something we've been developing in Hydra called Insta-cube. Just add water, and you'll be in possession of a powered up cosmic cube for 10 minutes."

"So where did the vortex send them to?"

"How should I know? Do I look like Professor Xavier to you? Wanna play Battleship?"

"Hit!"

[Chris Lang]

---

The Purple Skull 07-07-2007 10:01 PM

---

Scene switches to wear the vortex sent Zemo & Skull to.

"What is this place? Is it hell?"

"I haven't the faintest of ideas. Good lord, this place is an abomination!"

"Those fools will rue the day they ever sent us to this cesspool!"

"There must be someone here who can help us..."



"Welcome to the Newark, New Jersey's Target. Can I help you fools find something?"

[Chris Lang]

---

Chris Lang 07-07-2007 10:48 PM

---

"Good lord, this place is an abomination!"

"Those fools will rue the day they ever sent us to this cesspool!"

"There must be someone here who can help us..."



"Welcome to the Newark, New Jersey's Target. Can I help you fools find something?"

Earlier, Goombella had checked on Dr. Doom while looking through the monitors. The last she had heard of him, Immortus had decided to send the thousands of alternate Warners (who Carol Danvers and the Warners had summoned to punish Immortus) to Newark to pester Dr. Doom.

Apparently, the thousands of alternate Warners had since decided to go pester someone else, so they departed Newark and that dimension, leaving Dr. Doom still stranded in Newark. The alternate Warners were most recently seen in Ukyo and Cologne's dimension, at the estate where Tatewaki Kuno and his sister Kodachi lived. The Kunos were most recently seen running around in a panic.

Goombella turned and saw Dr. Doom was now no longer alone in Newark, but at the moment, she and her companions had problems of their own. She, Ukyo Kuonji, and Kitty Pryde were now being held prisoner in Darth Jubba's office by three alternate universe Nazi counterparts of Kitty's friends, and two Nazi soldiers. While Goombella had managed to get rid of one of their enemies by tricking the Nazi Trish Tilby into saying the spooky phantom guy's name, she had the feeling the others wouldn't be defeated so easily.

Goombella briefly turned to the monitors. "I'm sorry, but I won't be able to do any tattles for a while..."

The Nazi Callisto threw a knife at Goombella that only barely missed her. Goombella realized that Callisto missed on purpose. "Shut up!" Nazi Callisto exclaimed.

Goombella realized at that moment they would not be getting out of this without a fight...

---
Mayday noted the disappearance of both Roy Lincoln and Baron Blitzkrieg. Meanwhile, Miss Piggy and Baroness Paula von Gunther appeared to still be in the midst of their confrontation. Mayday had lost track of Hotaru and Kamen Rider Odin, and hoped they were doing well against their supervillain opponents.

"Okay, does anyone need any help?" Spider-Girl asked. "It looks like you're all doing okay, but if anyone needs me, I'll be glad to help."

[Chris Lang]

---

Donald M. 07-08-2007 12:05 AM

---

It's MIDOL, the Mutant Intelligence Designed Only for Loving!

"Oh Karl, sweetheart, this is, like, literally the last place I thought I'd ever find you! Stupid gods pulling people into their silly little conflicts! I knew you wouldn't miss our date if you could help it!"

[Chris Lang]

---

The Purple Skull 07-08-2007 12:28 AM

---

Stunning new developments!

It's MIDOL, the Mutant Intelligence Designed Only for Loving!

"Oh Karl, sweetheart, this is, like, literally the last place I thought I'd ever find you! Stupid gods pulling people into their silly little conflicts! I knew you wouldn't miss our date if you could help it!"

"Oh no! Not her!"



"Why, Karl you old dog you. I didn't know you were hittin' that! High-five bro!"

"You wouldn't have anymore Insta-Cube wouldya Bob?"

"Nah, I'm fresh out bro. But if you don't wanna be with her anymore, which I don't get BTW, why don't you break it off?"

"I can't! She's MODOK's sister. If I were to break it off with her, then MODOK would kill me!"

"He can be called MODOKK [Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing Karl]. Hehe."

"Not helping at all. And why should you? You've never been in a situation like this."

"Au contrair my yellow-clad buddy. Not too long ago, I was once in a relationship with Baron Strucker's 108 year-old sister."

"Good lord!"

"Yeah I know. But I couldn't do anything about cuz she was smitten with me, and who can blame her?"

"So how did you get out of the relationship."

"I hooked her up with Daredevil. That dude will sleep with any chick!"

"Yeah...he's a bit of a mimbo [male bimbo ;))] if you ask me..."

[Chris Lang]

---

Tommy 07-08-2007 12:34 AM

---

Three Nazis were squatting down and talking amongst themselves.

“Ja, if ve can cut ze rope, ve can free some of our forces.”

“But vat do ve have to cut it vith?”

“Vell, I have zis,” said one holding up a wax stick with a wick running through it.

“Und I have zis,” said the other holding up a metallic device used to hold up cars.

“Hmm,” pondered their leader as he took the two items in his hands “Ve could burn the rope or ve could fray it. A jack or a candle. Jack… candle… jack.”

Suddenly a spooky phantom appeared. “How nice of you to invite me over.”

“Vait! I didn’t say your name! I said A candle, A jack!”

“No, I’m pretty sure you said it.”

“Nien! He said ‘candle or jack’ not ‘Candle Jack! Aww crud.”

“Now I just have to wait for your little friend…”

“Never! Ze sun vill grow cold before I say Candle Jack!”

[Chris Lang]

---

Tommy 07-08-2007 12:40 AM

---

"I hooked her up with Daredevil. That dude will sleep with any chick!"

"Yeah...he's a bit of a mimbo [male bimbo )] if you ask me..."

"That's SLANDER! Prepare to be sued!" Daredevil screamed as he hurled paper sharp edged legal documents at the duo.

[Chris Lang]

---

The Purple Skull 07-08-2007 12:46 AM

---

"That's SLANDER! Prepare to be sued!" Daredevil screamed as he hurled paper sharp edged legal documents at the duo.

"Yeah? Well...I got...comics! That's right comics detailing all of your 'female encounters'. Karen. Elektra. Echo. Widow. That blind chick. The list goes on dude."

"Well at least you didn't use porn as your proof...."

"And I got porn with you on it buddy!"

SIGH "I spoke too soon..."


OOC: Night guys!

---

Donald M. 07-08-2007 12:51 AM

---

"That's SLANDER! Prepare to be sued!" Daredevil screamed as he hurled paper sharp edged legal documents at the duo.

MIDOL threw herself in the path of the documents hurled at her beloved Karl.

"You! Oh yes, Madame Hydra's niece Candy told me all about you! She's only sixteen, you perv!"

[Chris Lang]

---

Donald M. 07-08-2007 12:55 AM

---

"Why, Karl you old dog you. I didn't know you were hittin' that! High-five bro!"

OOC: My amatuer efforts at producing an image have proven fruitless, but MIDOL basically looks like MODOK in drag. So . . . either Bob is blind or his standards are really, really low.

IC: "Oh, it's you Bob, I should have guessed. The last time I saw you was at Candy's Sweet Sixteen, when you got drunk and hit on Elektra. Speaking of which, how did your testicular reattachment surgery go?"