Traitor Game L: Existential Crisis

[Chris Lang]

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Chris Lang 07-16-2007 04:43 PM

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Goombella and Kitty stared at the monitors for a while. Things were quieting down in Asgard now, and the few remaining monitors showed nothing unusual.

Kitty turned to one set of monitors that were still intact. "It looks like some of these monitors showing alternate Star Wars universes are still here. Looks like in the universe this monitor is showing, both Vader and the Emperor are still alive."

Kitty turned up the sound on that monitor, so they could listen in.

Darth Vader and the Emperor appeared to be standing at a landing bay. Before them was a spacecraft. An Imperial admiral approached, and addressed the two.

"Lord Vader.... Emperor... I would like to introduce you to the bounty hunter you were requesting. He's right here, sir." The admiral gestured, the hatch of the spacecraft opened, and out stepped...



WOBBUFFET!!!

Emperor: I always thought he'd be taller...

Vader: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Emperor: *muttering* Drama Queen.

Kitty and Goombella just stared at the scene on the monitor, not knowing what to say. "I guess some dimensions are just totally weird." Goombella said after a long silence.

OOC: Special thanks to Schornforce for the above skit and pic. Wrapup to come in a bit. And tangentman, I hope you conclude the Tara and/or Faith epilogue.

[Chris Lang]

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Schornforce 07-16-2007 05:43 PM

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Dark Angel epilogue:

In Volstagg's tavern, Dark Angel, looking very fat and bloated lies groaning in a pile of chocolate cake mess. "Uuuuuunnnnnh.... I don't feel so good...."

Volstagg just sighs, turns out the lights on her, and leaves his tavern while shaking his head.

The Monitors view all this silently until one says, "Y'know, she isn't working out. Anyone know the Silver Surfer's number?"

OOC:

For the traitor game soundtrack, please don't forget Piggy's renditions of:

Don't Cry for Me Argentina

What's Opera Doc? (Zombie edition)

I Will Survive (Traitor Game edition)

****

Piggy's action figure would OF COURSE have real 'kung-fu grip.'

She would also come with a variety of stylish outfits and lots and lots of chocolate cakes.

****

Also, the latest, greatest thing to erupt from the Traitor Games! Come to Traitorfest 2007!!!

Meet all your Traitor Game favorites! Buy rare and exclusive Traitor Game merchandise!

To kick off our very first Traitorfest, our guest speakers are Kenny McCormick, The Burger King, and Courage the Cowardly Dog!!!

Shake hands with the Joker! Sit on Insane/Cyborg/AIM Santa's lap (at your own risk)!

As a special bonus for all attendees-- you get a prize pack of specially made Traitor Game: Traitah Tradin' Cards ®©TM and your very own set of Warner Siblings (Please!!! PLEASE!!!! Take them away!!!)

So, if you love traitor games-- and you surely must! Come on down to Olathe, Kansas for the very first Traitorfest celebration!!!!

Warning: attendees may be eliminated one by one by force(s) unknown. void where prohibited. Traitorfest is not to be taken internally.

[Chris Lang]

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Chris Lang 07-16-2007 08:52 PM

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Goombella and Kitty's epilogue, part 2 - Wrapup and setup

After everyone had said their farewells to Goombella and Kitty, Goombella switched off the remaining monitors. They would not be re-activated until someone inputted the activation code, which only Cologne, Ukyo, and Goombella knew.

"I guess we'll be going now. Still, I hate to just leave this place, y'know?" Goombella said. "I'd like to come back and research it. I hear neither Jabba the Hutt nor Darth Jubba actually built their palaces. They just kinda moved in to buildings that had been around long before they were, and totally updated them with all the latest conveniences."

"I wish I could stay longer, too." Kitty replied. "I'm a Star Wars fan from way back. And now here I am on Tatooine. Not a movie set or some filming location in Tunisia, but the real place, in an alternate dimension where it's real. The geek in me would love to actually see the moisture farms, Mos Eisley spaceport, and all of that live and in person, but I don't think there's time for that. I don't want to leave you all alone here, and I don't know how long the portal back home's going to remain open."

Goombella nodded. "Well, you could take some souvenirs, y'know? There's still some leftover DVDs of Traitor Game VII: A Galaxy Far, Far Away. Darth Jubba started filming it the moment the game began, and it totally kept going after the good guys defeated him, and only stops when Cologne shuts it off before going home." She handed Kitty the DVD.

"Thanks." Kitty replied. "I don't know what my friends will think if they see it."

"Oh, before they left that game, Cologne and Willow found a list of Traitor Game hosts." Goombella added. "Both past and possible future. I've got a printout here."

Kitty and Goombella looked at the printout. "I'm not surprised Mojo's on the list." Kitty said. "He admitted he'd like to host in the future. But it looks like he's not next on the list. Next is someone called 'God Emperor Charon'. Have you heard of him?"

"I think he's in the book." Goombella replied. "But I don't know if I'll be part of that game. I can't give out tattles in every Traitor Game, y'know? There's still lots of stuff that I need to do in my own world. Mario or Professor Frankly or someone may need me."

"I guess I should be getting back home. My friends need me, and I've got to try to figure out how to get that Widget thing working again." Kitty said. "It's been great meeting you."

"Yeah. Maybe we'll meet again on some mission or another. Till we meet again." Goombella said, with a sigh.

They left the office, and soon Kitty stepped through the portal to her home world. Goombella turned to the cleaning droids. "Someone said this place might get totally new management in the future. Till then, do your best to like, keep it clean and stuff."

With that, Goombella entered the portal leading to her home world.

---
Kitty's home dimension, MC-217, Excalibur lighthouse

Kitty found herself directly outside Excalibur's lighthouse headquarters. The Soulsword was still embedded in the rock outside, like the famous sword of Arthurian legend.

Kitty rushed inside the lighthouse, where she found Rachel Summers rushing to meet her. "Kitty, where have you been?" she exclaimed. "The Nazis from the other world just disappeared! You know what that means, don't you? It means we can't exchange them for OUR Dr. MacTaggert and Callisto!"

Kitty stopped. She knew what had happened, but wasn't sure where to begin. "The Nazi Moira, Callisto, and Lightning Force are dead. All of them. I saw them die. They were working with a whole bunch of Nazi supervillains from other dimensions ... it's a long story. The point is, now that they're dead, how are we going to get Moira and Callisto back?"

"I wouldn't worry about that." a familiar voice said. Kitty turned to see Callisto, the Callisto from her world, accompanied by Dr. Moira MacTaggert. "Danielle Moonstar went back to check on the heroes you rescued on Earth 597-X or whatever that world was. Wonder Woman and Green Lantern found us, and Odin sent us back home."

Kitty breathed a sigh of relief. "At least that's settled. I thought it'd be one of those things that drags out so long it feels like months, even though to us it'd be only a few days or weeks."

"Don't worry." Rachel replied. "I'm sure there'll be plenty of crazy adventures in store for us in the next few weeks. In the meantime, you've still got that widget to fix, right?"

"Yes. I got sidetracked from it again. Maybe we can find some way to get it working." As Kitty said this, she knew that whenever she did get the Widget fixed, it would lead to an even crazier adventure...

---
Goombella found herself in Rogueport outside the Toad Bros. Bazaar. Nearby, Charlieton the merchant sold his overpriced merchandise, and the lazy Doogan was asking Plenn T. the Bazaar owner if there were any easy jobs that paid a lot of money.

Goombella just sighed and smiled. She knew things were back to normal ... as normal as her life ever got. Of course, she knew that either in other dimensions or here in her own universe, her adventures would continue...

OOC: And that's my epilogue. Coming up, my merchandise advertisements, and the 'curtain call' pics. By the way, Schornforce, that 'Traitorfest 2007' ad had me laughing out loud. Even though you're playing a character who takes himself way too seriously next game, I hope you'll still provide plenty of fun moments.

[Chris Lang]

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Chris Lang 07-17-2007 04:51 AM

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Okay, and now here's some more action figures for Traitor Game X: I'll Take Valhalla!

Spider-Girl, May 'Mayday' Parker
Daughter of Spider-Man, with spider powers
Comes with webbing and web shooters

Action phrases include:

"It's still a Spider-Girl world!"
"No one dies on my watch!"
"Talk about putting one and one together, and coming up with eleven!"

Ukyo Kuonji
Okonomiyaki cook extraordinare
Comes with giant battle spatula and miniature throwing spatulas

Action phrases include:

"Ukyo Kuonji is my name. Okonomiyaki's my game."
"What was THAT all about? (pause) Never mind. I don't want to know."
"You know what I say? When all else fails, try okonomiyaki."

Goombella
Goomba advisor, and beginning archaeologist and adventurer
Comes with miniature tattle book, props, and boomerang

Action phrases include:

"I'm Goombella. I'm a student at U Goom. Go, Goombas!"
"Let's see what the book has to say about this..."
"Gosh, I just broke through the fourth wall there, didn't I?"
"Uh, zombies? Can you hear me? I know some of your ears are, like, falling off and rotting and stuff, but I think you can hear me."
"I guess some dimensions are just totally weird."
"I can't give out tattles in every Traitor Game, y'know?"

Kitty Pryde
Young mutant with phasing powers, and heir to the Soulsword
Comes with Soulsword, Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, and attachable 'soul armor'

Action phrases include:

"That was weird."
"Yeahbuhwha?"
"We're in the middle of a final climactic showdown here. We don't have time for badly phrased talk show questioning."

Okay, most of these are action figures from previous Traitor Games, but some new phrases have been included. If you purchase all of them together for 6 easy payments of $34.99, you get the special Danielle Moonstar action figure free of charge!

--
OOC: Okay, all we need now is the second part of tangentman's epilogue, maybe a bit from Deadpooligan, and then once we're sure the epilogues are done, the 'curtain call' pics.

[Chris Lang]

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The Purple Skull 07-17-2007 12:48 PM

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Time for the long awaited Bob & Karl Traitor Game X Action figures!

Bob: Agent of Hydra
"Hail Hydra~!"
"Aww corn muffins."
"Wait...what kind of porn?"
"You're my best friend!"

Karl: Engineer of AIM
"AIM Is Awesome~!"
"Oh sweet merciful crap."
"I'm gonna get blamed for this."
"You're not my best friend."

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Eternal Torment 07-17-2007 12:58 PM

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Now for mine.

Apocalypse

"What....the....."
"Prepare to die at my hands."
"Those Organization FOOLS!"
"Well, we have some work to do."

Scourge

"Man.....our Superior is going to be pissed."
"Step aside, and you won't die."
"It seems that this is goodbye."
"THIS ISN'T OVER, NOT BY A LONGSHOT!"

Original Zero

"You're dead, Ares! YOU HEAR ME? DEAD!"
"Betray the Organization, and you'll end up like Captain Cold."
"Oh....we're screwed, aren't we?"
"That bastard! He escaped!"

[Chris Lang]

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Tommy 07-17-2007 01:09 PM

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NOW PRESENTING…. THE ONE… THE ONLY… THE MUST HAVE ITEM FOR THIS CHRISTMAS… BO THE ACTION FIGURE!

Bo comes with alternate wolf head. And his own super action pheromone smell!

Press Bo’s buttons and he will say one of these action sayings!

“Imma gay werewolf.”
“Stop touching my butt!”
“I’m getting married!”

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Tommy 07-17-2007 01:12 PM

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We are issuing a recall of the BO THE ACTION FIGURE!

Bo’s super action pheromone smell has an unintended side effect and should not be played with by small children or the elderly.

HOWEVER! BO THE ACTION FIGURE will still be available at many adult bookstores in your neighbor hood!

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Chris Lang 07-17-2007 06:47 PM

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OOC: Purple Skull, Eternal Torment, Tommy -- great stuff!

Well, we've been doing the action figure bit since Traitor Game VI, and this is the first time a figure's been recalled. Oh, well. I'm sure that 'super action pheremone smell' sounded good on paper.

But seriously, great contributions to the ongoing merchandise gag. Now all I'm waiting for is the last bit of epilogue from tangentman (I don't know if Deadpooligan is going to do another bit or not), and then it'll be time for the 'curtain call' pics.

[Chris Lang]

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Deadpooligan 07-17-2007 08:10 PM

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THORPOOL: THE ACTION FIGURE!

Comes with sparking Mjolnir (also a lighter!), removable helm and cape!

And 6 action phrases!

"I SAY THEE NAY! Or.. yea. YAY FOR NAY!"

"Mine full name is 'Captain Doctor Wade Thorpool Winston Chimichanga Wilson Laufeyson God of Thunderous Comedy the First, Secondeth, and Thoid."

"Prepare for the ENDOWMENT of Thorpool!"

"I swear to Grampa, Thunderstrike didn't have to deal with this crap."

"I like thunder, I like lightning, Mujeeber, -jeeber, please de-lee-ver!"

"And theneth there's Wade...!"

SIF: THE ACTION FIGURE!

Comes with sword, removable headdress and kidney-punching action!

Also, action phrases!

"I am Sif! Raven haired warrior of Asgard!"

"Killable beasts? WHERE? THY SOULS ARE MINE!"

"Look, Bill's a sentient alien... thing... he's not really a horse. Right?"

"Oh Wade, you and thy shenanigans..."

"Have at you! 'Tis but a scratch!"

LOKI ACTION FIGURE!

Comes with removable horned hat and ponytail, cloak, and armor!

Action Phrases!

"I cannot tell a lie! Oh wait, yes, I can!"

"Alright folks, the ante is one immortal soul! Find the Red Queen..."

"Your shoes are untied. HA; made you look! LOKI, GOD OF MISCHIEF STRIKES AGAIN!"

"Mistletoe guillotine? Merry Christmas, Balder. Mua ha ha..."

"Daaaaaaaaaad! Thor's picking on meeeeeeeeee!"

OOC: Are all the epilogues done, because I gotta, just gotta post this final bit...

[Chris Lang]

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KamenRaida 07-17-2007 08:17 PM

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Well, I suppose I should at least put in a 'Kamen Rider Odin' action figure before this ends, despite my lack of participation in this game.

Kamen Rider Odin: Action Figure!

Comes with attachable Guld Phoenix Figure, Odin Visor, and Advent Cards!

Also, comes with two action phrases!

"I AM THE MOST POWERFUL RIDER!"

"ETERNAL CHAOS!"

[Chris Lang]

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Schornforce 07-18-2007 11:06 AM

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To those who missed Traitorfest 2007, here are some pictures from this momentous event.



Some of the guests: (L to R- Darth Vader, Spider-Girl, Ukyo Kuonji, and Batman) have arrived at the fabulous discount shopping center in Olathe, KS.



Uh oh. It appears they don't trust that Darth Vader fellow. I wonder why.



Huh. Batman's dead again.

[Chris Lang]

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tangentman 07-19-2007 07:22 PM

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"Unintentional Tears": Tara's Epilogue, Part 2"

After the goddess spoke, her expression softened in a manner which surprised Tara. "What remains hidden even from thee, little witch, is the reason for thy presence in the game." Karnilla's eyes twinkled as she saw Tara's questioning look. Even after centuries of presiding over the fates of the gods, Karnilla still enjoyed guarding the truth behind the events which so often confused even gods.

Tara stared at Karnilla with raised eyebrows. Her glum expression changed into a slight frown. "Why was I drafted into the game?" The question plagued Tara ever since her first day in Asgard.

Karnilla smiled and nodded at the much younger woman. "Aye, young witch, thou shalt gain the answers thou seekest." Holding her arm outstretched over the scrying pool, Karnilla waved her hand with a single flourish. The water rippled and time in Sunnydale turned back several months.

Leaning closer, Tara watched the conjured image as if her life depended on it. She saw what really happened in that room...and well beyond the moment of her death. Tara saw Willow's downspiral into rage and despair. Tears pooled in Tara's eyes when she saw her lover's shocking transformation as she drained numerous tomes of Dark Magick. Those tears ran freely when Tara saw the carnage wreaked on her murderer, Warren Mears.

"STOP! Just...please, just stop. I can't...I can't watch Willow like that."

"Nay, young witch. Stay thine eyes and watch the rest unfold..."

Tara shook her head slowly, yet she couldn't tear her gaze from the scrying. She saw Willow focus her misdirected rage on their friends. When Willow struck down Giles, she gasped. When she began invoking the effigy of Proserpexa, Tara held her breath in watchful fear.

Fortunately, the scene changed when Xander intervened. Once again, Tara wept quietly. This time, though, she cried in relief...and heartbreak over Willow's suffering. "Thank you, Goddess. Thank you for saving her."

Karnilla's eyes never left Tara. The witch's devout love for the redhaired mortal stirred memories of Karnilla's own passion for Balder. In the presence of such pure love, not even Karnilla's hardened heart could remain unmoved. "See the true reason thou wert needed for a game of the gods. Thou couldst not see Willow Rosenberg again, not ere thou faced the darkness in thine own heart."


TBC

[Chris Lang]

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Chris Lang 07-21-2007 12:46 PM

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OOC: Okay, here are small epilogues for bit players in our story...

IC:

Clooney Batman returned to his own universe, and began work on constructing more 'nipple armor' Batman costumes. He never did figure out just what was going on.

The regular Batman of the Traitor Games, on the other hand, did figure out what was going on even though he was not a part of this Traitor Game. He knew that soon something would have to be done...

Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Robotman, the Torch, and the other heroes of the alternate world Mayday and company rescued continued on in their fight against the Nazis.

The Undead Asgardian Calypsonians were last seen looting the Asgardian Hall of Records in search of more calypso songs that appealed to zombies like themselves. Afterwards, they went into hiding and are rumored to be rehearsing new material.

The Burger King attempted to open a fast food restaurant in Asgard.

Most of those who had made random cameos left Asgard around the time most of the players did. Most of them, anyway. A few stayed around a bit longer...

OOC: Coming soon (after the last epilogues), the 'curtain calls'.

[Chris Lang]

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Chris Lang 07-22-2007 06:43 PM

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OOC: Okay, here are the 'curtain call' pics. I couldn't keep waiting any longer.

First off, the player characters...



I decided to use three pics of Miss Piggy in the next one...



Finally, here are some characters who were eliminated early, but still had a lot to do afterward.



Next note ... the NPCs.

[Chris Lang]

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Chris Lang 07-22-2007 06:46 PM

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Okay, first off, here are the Asgardians, who of course are the hosts. Not only are Odin and Hela here, but also nearly every other Asgardian who played a prominent part in the events of the game.



And here are the non-Asgardian NPCs, featuring various characters who helped out the player characters at certain points, or just provided some interesting subplots or comic relief.



And those are the curtain call pics for Traitor Game X: I'll Take Valhalla.

[Chris Lang]

[Reposter's note: It's at this point that Goombella fast-forwards the DVD past the Limbo Legion backup, for reasons that will be given afterwards. This Traitor Game has been presented in its entirety, but the Limbo Legion backup is a setup for a later Traitor Game, and as such will be re-presented on another date]

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Chris Lang 07-27-2007 02:52 PM

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Additional epilogue with Kitty Pryde, at Excalibur's lighthouse



Kitty Pryde continued her work with Widget, but it was frustrating. She had no way of knowing just where this Widget came from, and she was sure that if she did know, it might help her figure out just how to get it working again.

As Kitty glared at the Widget, her cell phone rang. She answered it, and Ororo (Storm) Munroe's voice was heard on the phone.

"Kitty, Rogue has disappeared." Ororo said. "We were discussing who was going to be in charge of Professor Xavier's school when she vanished in front of us. There was a flash of light, and she was gone."

"You don't think this has anything to do with the Traitor Games, do you?" Kitty asked. "I was just involved with them again..."

"You what?" Ororo said, startled. She calmed down. "That was only one possibility, kitten. The X-Men have many enemies and one may have chosen to abduct Rogue in that manner. She herself has enemies from before her time with us. But yes, it is possible this may be connected to the Traitor Games you told us about."

"I was just at the last one." Kitty continued. "I heard another one is starting soon. I think it may have already started. Problem is, if Rogue's been taken to be a part of it, I don't know if there's much we can do about it."

"I am afraid you are right." Ororo replied on the phone. "We will search for her in case there is another explanation for her disappearance."

Kitty, however, doubted that the timing of Rogue's disappearance was a coincidence. She could only hope that Rogue would be able to get through whatever Charon had in store for her and the other players, and come home safely...

OOC: What will happen to Rogue? Find out in the next Traitor Game! Closing credits follow...

[Chris Lang]

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Chris Lang 07-27-2007 02:53 PM

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And now, the closing credits!

The Traitor Game X: I'll Take Valhalla

Conceived and hosted by Indigo Al

Traitor Game originated by The Purple Skull

Written by and featuring the following:

tangentman - Tara Maclay (Buffy)
Joe Acro - Roy Lincoln (Alternate universe variant of DC character)
Deadpooligan - Thorpool (Marvel)
GoGo Yubari - Ty Lee (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
Superheroic - Ares (Marvel)
The Purple Skull - Bob, Agent of Hydra (Marvel)
The Purple Skull - Karl, Agent of AIM (Marvel Adventures)
darkkeeperjr - Peter Pan (Peter Pan)
bigboi2 - Grimlock (Transformers Generation One)
Tommy - Bo (Cursed)
Donald M. - Dwight Schrute (The Office)
Froggy- Megaman (Megaman video games)
Jeremi - Havik (Mortal Kombat universe)
Jeremi - Gan Ning (Dynasty Warriors)
Chris Lang - Spider-Girl (Marvel MC-2)
Schornforce – Miss Piggy (Muppets)
KamenRaida - Kamen Rider Odin (Kamen Rider Ryuki)
Eternal Torment - Apocalypse (Marvel)
Weirdopky - Crazy Santa (Traitor Game V host and his otherworld counterpart)
Crimson King - Hotaru (Samurai Deeper Kyo)
mrcellophane - Rocky Balboa (Rocky movie series)
kain5252 - Greed (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Anthony Johanson - Laharl (Disgaea)
PheonixNoRelation- Spider-Man (Marvel)
BYC - The Burger King (??? - Burger King advertisements)

And NPCs

Indigo Al - Odin
Indigo Al - Hela
Deadpooligan - Loki
Chris Lang - Goombella (Paper Mario)
Donald M. - Mojo (Marvel)
The Purple Skull - The Spectre (DC)
Schornforce - The Warners (Animaniacs)
Chris Lang - Kitty Pryde (Marvel's Excalibur, variant)
tangentman - Faith the Slayer (Buffy universe)
Chris Lang - Ukyo Kuonji (Ranma 1/2)
The Purple Skull - The Rogue Watcher
Chris Lang - Danielle Moonstar (New Mutants, Marvel, variant)
Eternal Torment - Scourge (Marvel)
Tommy - Hana Gitelman (Heroes)
GoGo Yubari - Yakushi Kabuto (Naruto)
Indigo Al - Gerta Dammerung
Tommy - Cobra Queen (Freakazoid)
Deadpooligan - Sif
The Purple Skull - Dr. Doom (Marvel or some variant)
Eternal Torment - Original Zero (King of Fighters)
Deadpooligan - DJ Soundwave and Omniwave (variant Transformers)
Deadpooligan - Valhallen (Dexter's Laboratory)

Also featuring: Batman (DC), Clooney Batman (Batman movies), Fandral, Volstagg, Amora the Enchantress, Karnilla, the Red Skull (Marvel), Baron Zemo (Marvel), Candle Jack (Freakazoid), and several others.

(post credits scene)

Volstagg and a few of the children are placing trophies from the recent battles in the tavern. Among the trophies are severed zombie arms, hillbilly shotguns and jugs of whiskey, and stuffed weasels with swastika armbands.

(fade to black. Lights in the cinema turn on).