Traitor Game L: Existential Crisis

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 05:43 PM

Donald M. 06-11-2007 08:46 PM

Originally Posted by bigboi2

Grimlock turned towards Dwight.

"Puny human no leader, me leader" Grimlock said in a loud voice. "Me strongest person hear"

OT: Nice choice Donald.

Dwight handed the monosyllabic Dinobot a questionnaire. He considered charging the looming metal monster for the pencil he handed over, but thought better of it.

Dwight Schrute Army
Official Entrance Exam

Section One: True or False

1. Currently, bears represent the single greatest threat to human civilization. T F

2. Whether it be household chores, factory work or the defense of our great nation, robots will someday be a valued members of our modern society. T F

3. Tardiness and wrongful or pretend illness are the most costly and terrible things to affect business. T F

4. Battlestar Galactica is not awesome. T F

5. You suck. T F

Section Two: Advanced Mathematics

1. What is the square root of Awesome?

2. Think of a number between 5 and 7 that isn’t 6.

3. Why is six afraid of seven?

Section Three: Free Association

What is the first word that enters your mind in response to the following words and phrases?

1. Bears

2. Ninjas

3. Battlestar Galactica

4. Anime

5. Beets

Section Four: Essay Questions

1. Which bear is best? Explain your answer.

2. What would happen if the cast of Battlestar Galactica crash-landed on the Lost island?

3. Prove in one paragraph or less that you are not secretly a bear or a ninja in disguise. Or some sort of bear/ninja hybrid.

Section Five: General Knowledge

1. Who started the fire?

2. Other than bears, what is the #1 killer of children between the ages of 5 and 8?

3. Who should be contacted in the event of a bear attack?

4. Who is the perfect female?

5. Is Anne Rice correct, are vampires sissies?

6. Who's the guy who wont cop out when there's danger all about?

7. Insert your own question here (and answer it)

8. Name three things that can be used to kill a werewolf. Silver and wolfsbane are not acceptable answers.

Final Section: Important Personal Information (To be kept in strictest confidence)

1. Secret Identity (If applicable)

2. What weapons do you own and how proficient are you in their use?

3. Who should be contacted in the case of death or other medical emergency?

4. What sort of salary are you expecting?

5. Have you ever met Batman?

6. What was he like?

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 05:45 PM

Indigo Al 06-11-2007 08:46 PM

Originally Posted by Deadpooligan

"Dear father, did you not expect your most guilesome son to not be here, partaking in this game?"

OOC: And there's your inquisitor! (Sorry Purple Skull, but I'm running that show for this game!)

"Be warned Loki! I shall tolerate thine presence here for the function you are to perform. But well do I know of thine villainous intent! Ye shall be smitten at the first sign of treachery!"

Secretly, Odin hoped that his son's crafty and cunning nature would help tip the Game's hand to him....

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 05:47 PM

Kevin M. 06-11-2007 08:50 PM

Originally Posted by Donald M.

Dwight handed the monosyllabic Dinobot a questionnaire. He considered charging the looming metal monster for the pencil he handed over, but thought better of it.

Grimlock looked at the questionnaire with little intrest, and tore it up. "Me board, me find something fun to do" he said as he walk over to another section of the tavern.

OT: Nice questionnaire.

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 05:48 PM

The Purple Skull 06-11-2007 08:51 PM

Originally Posted by Deadpooligan

"Aye, father. How do thee, brotherly Agents of Villainous Groups! Mine name tis Deadpool, or mayhap rather Thorpool as I wieldeth a cool nifty magick hammer-thingy!

OOC: And there's your inquisitor! (Sorry Purple Skull, but I'm running that show for this game!)

OOC: It's cool, Deadpooligan. I needed a break from that anyway.

IC:

"Deadpool! Deadpool! Hey dude! It's me! Bob: Agent of Hydra! Remember me?"

"I don't think he recognizes you, dude."

"Sure he does, Karl. We're like best buds! We've known each other for like 4 days now!"

Thorpool does not recognize Bob.

(Annoyed) "Yeah, well your wings look stupid as hell. Geez, give a guy some lessons in Shakespearian talk and a hammer and his ego all of a sudden inflates. I buy hammers all the time in Home Depot, but you don't see me act smug all of a sudden."

SIGH "Come on, Bob. Let's regroup."

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 05:50 PM

KamenRaida 06-11-2007 08:53 PM

If anything, Kamen Rider Odin ahd determined that the characters he had observed here were varied. And not simply in the potential power they possessed, but in the manner in which many carried themselves out as well.

There were the two that did not seem to see eye-to-eye with each other, there was that Olympian God, and even one seemingly powerless bespectacled man busily at work for a reason Kamen Rider Odin cared not to know.

Of course, his attention immediately turned to the introduction of another indicidual from the pantheon of Norse Gods. This Loki.... he was clearly not a 'Player' of the Game, so why was here? From what both he and Shiro Kanzaki had seen from Satoru Toujou in the last Traitor Game, interruptions from non-Players seemed fairly common.

This Loki, however, claimed to be here to 'inquire' the players.... There was one such individual in the Traitor Game from before as well.... Whatever the case, his role could only serve as an advantage.

Originally Posted by Chris Lang

Spider-Girl tried her best to take this in.

"Okay, so you're telling me that we're all players in some sort of deadly game between the two of you?" Mayday asked. "And if we lose, Hela gets to torment a whole bunch of innocent souls?"

"Odin, I've been in Asgard before. I didn't get to meet you that time, but I was under the impression that you were smarter than that. From what I heard, you're the god of WISDOM! The one everyone, not just Thor, but everyone turns to for advice. The stories go on and on about how you're a wise leader and how you're fair and just and all that."

"How could you gamble with innocent souls like this in some twisted variation of that Werewolf game my friends and I used to play? I thought you knew better!"

"Where's Thor? Where's Sif, Frigga, Balder, the Warriors Three, and the rest? Couldn't they talk you out of it?"

"If I am correct, girl, then I'd think that this man would hardly have a choice." Kamen Rider Odin turned his attention to the costumed girl, "One from my universe had been a part of this 'Traitor Game' before. From what me and my creator had gathered from watching him in the game, there had been two hosts.

One a hell-goddess and the other, a mystic of some kind. It seemed fairly obvious that the one to have began the entire mess in the first place was the former, with the latter only there so as to keep her in check. I do believe that this is a similar situation."

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 05:51 PM

Deadpooligan 06-11-2007 09:13 PM

Originally Posted by Chris Lang

Mayday gasped.

"Loki! Not you again! How'd you escape? I thought Thor banished you to another dimension after you killed Captain America!"

"Are YOU the one behind this? It wouldn't surprise me if you somehow put Odin under some spell or something! I don't see how he'd agree to this 'game' otherwise."

"Well if it isn't Spider-Girl. If only your life had significant continuity in the world. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

May said nothing. He could feel her glare though she wore a mask.

"...dually noted. Look, I know what thou art thinking, but I didn't kill Captain America. Twas another me from another time and place which I'd rather not get into right now... especially since I'm supposed to be dead or in space with Thor to my knowledge..."

Thorpool turned around to butt in on the conversation.

"There is a man at a keyboard... none of--"

Loki snapped back in reply.

"Hush, my son. These people will come to know in time."

Originally Posted by Indigo Al

"Be warned Loki! I shall tolerate thine presence here for the function you are to perform. But well do I know of thine villainous intent! Ye shall be smitten at the first sign of treachery!"

Secretly, Odin hoped that his son's crafty and cunning nature would help tip the Game's hand to him....

"Aye! Father, thou can trust me with thy whole heart. You forget that Thor would most enjoy succeeding you next. (He's done it before, but you may not remember that!) So much for your great wisdom...

Originally Posted by The Purple Skull

"Deadpool! Deadpool! Hey dude! It's me! Bob: Agent of Hydra! Remember me?"

"I don't think he recognizes you, dude."

"Sure he does, Karl. We're like best buds! We've known each other for like 4 days now!"

(Annoyed) "Yeah, well your wings look stupid as hell. Geez, give a guy some lessons in Shakespearian talk and a hammer and his ego all of a sudden inflates. I buy hammers all the time in Home Depot, but you don't see me act smug all of a sudden."

SIGH "Come on, Bob. Let's regroup."

"Aye! Bob! I do not know thee now, but perhaps I wilst know thou in 7 years time giveth or taketh a month?

Come oneth, Bob! I do not do anything to thou... and yet thou insuleth mine headwings? And downplay mine hammer? DOST THOU WANT TO LOSE THINE HEAD?!"

Thorpool swung Mjolnir wildly over Bob and Karl's heads.

"Lucky thou ducked, for my next strike will have the precision of a needle eye! --

Thorpool turned his attention away for a distraction. Freakin' ADD cerebral flux.

"Ooh, that glassed-rimmed man dost have a quizzicle!

Originally Posted by THORPOOL'S TEST

Dwight Schrute Army
Official Entrance Exam

Section One: True or False

1. False. Tis those Styrofoam packing chips within a cardboard box.
2. False. I hath been beaten up by many a robot and do not liketh them.
3. True. Pay is dockedeth in mine mercenary work for tardiness.
4. False! Tis the most concrete block on the channel of Sci-Fi!
5. False. The powers of Thor make me verily awesome indeed.

Section Two: Advanced Mathematics

1. Wade Root Wilson Lokison

2. Five and a smidge.

3. Seven hath feasted on Nine.

Section Three: Free Association

1. Bears - Hugs.

2. Ninjas - Common misconceptions of me.

3. Battlestar Galactica - Attractive women in Space.

4. Anime - Two prominent reasons to watch.

5. Beets - Little Michael Jackson. (Aww...)

Section Four: Essay Questions

1. Care Bears hath been the best bears ever because of their diabolical stare of care.

2. Continuity hath been muddled, stabbed, and pummeled to Hel.

3. I'd be lying if I did. Dost thou not know all Norse Gods are half bear in origin? Tis true, mine father toldeth me.

Section Five: General Knowledge

1. Not we. William Martin Joel did. It hath always been burning as Midgard hath turned, however.

2. Something between Karl Rove and Galactus.

3. Methinks Stephen Colbert or Conan O' Brien

4. Thou art kidding? Clearly death herself.

5. Dost thou not know of Vampirella?!

6. DEADPOOL! Damn righteth.

7. Why doth this quiz so long? So mine Godly Cinemax hand may cramp!

8. Mine bear hands, mine hammer Mujeebur, probably a good shave.

Final Section: Important Personal Information (To be kept in strictest confidence)

1. Wade Winston Wilson Lokison.

2. Currently just Mjolnir the Hammer, formerly assorted quantities of guns and blades. SUperbly and Godly proficient.

3. I cannot die. Tis true, mine lover's ex-boyfriend hath made it so.

4. Two chicks at one time?

5. I'm Batman.

6. I tend to think he's more of a clown than anything.

"Ack! Mine hand! It cramps verily!!"

OOC: Too... many... people...

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 05:55 PM

Chris Lang 06-11-2007 09:17 PM

Originally Posted by KamenRaida

"If I am correct, girl, then I'd think that this man would hardly have a choice." Kamen Rider Odin turned his attention to the costumed girl, "One from my universe had been a part of this 'Traitor Game' before. From what me and my creator had gathered from watching him in the game, there had been two hosts.

One a hell-goddess and the other, a mystic of some kind. It seemed fairly obvious that the one to have began the entire mess in the first place was the former, with the latter only there so as to keep her in check. I do believe that this is a similar situation."

"You mean this has happened BEFORE?" Spider-Girl said, incredulously. "How do you know all this?"

Mayday realized that she hadn't introduced herself. "I'm Spider-Girl. I don't know if I should tell you my real name yet, since I don't even know you. But what should I call you?"

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 05:57 PM

Chris Lang 06-11-2007 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by Deadpooligan

"Well if it isn't Spider-Girl. If only your life had significant continuity in the world. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

May said nothing. He could feel her glare though she wore a mask.

"...dually noted. Look, I know what thou art thinking, but I didn't kill Captain America. Twas another me from another time and place which I'd rather not get into right now... especially since I'm supposed to be dead or in space with Thor to my knowledge..."

Thorpool turned around to butt in on the conversation.

"There is a man at a keyboard... none of--"

Loki snapped back in reply.

"Hush, my son. These people will come to know in time."

Mayday wasn't sure she wanted to waste time arguing with Loki. Even before she actually met him, she knew his reputation as the Norse God of trickery. How much of what he said could she take at face value?

"I guess I might as well get to know everyone here." Mayday said. "I think I saw my dad somewhere in this crowd, but I'm not sure. Wait a minute. Is that the Burger King mascot over there?"

"And I think that's Peter Pan. And that guy looks like Santa Claus, but with robot parts. And over there's one of those Transformer robots... you mean to tell me they're all real in some universe?"

"And is that MISS PIGGY over there? I used to LOVE watching her when I was a kid. And isn't that Sylvester Stallone? Did they grab him while he was out promoting the DVD release of 'Rocky Balboa' or something?"

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 05:58 PM

Tommy 06-11-2007 09:32 PM

Of the Norse pantheon the Goddess Eir was considered the best of physicians. She realized one of the players in Odin’s game was currently close to death. And death was something she knew quite a bit about. She healed Bo almost instantly.

He blinked, and looked into the eyes of the goddess. “Thank you,” He said quietly.

“Would be quite the pity to loose so handsome a lad prematurely,” she replied. She considered telling him about his current medical condition. It was something beyond even her skills at healing to fix. However these people came at specific times and places in their lives. Should she leak information preemptively she could alter the course of his destiny which could affect his whole universe.

And even a God should avoid that. However she did convince him that he really was in Asgard.

Bo wondered over to the other players. He caught his reflection in the hall mirror as he walked by. Eir does good work, he thought. But not perfect. He noticed five small scares on his hand.

Upon arriving at the player’s tavern he stopped by Dwight’s desk and picked up one of his tests.

“My best friend is a werewolf!” he yelled.

OOC: Got tired of dying.

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 05:59 PM

KamenRaida 06-11-2007 09:35 PM

Originally Posted by Chris Lang

"You mean this has happened BEFORE?" Spider-Girl said, incredulously. "How do you know all this?"Mayday realized that she hadn't introduced herself. "I'm Spider-Girl. I don't know if I should tell you my real name yet, since I don't even know you. But what should I call you?"

Kamen Rider Odin was silently chuckling at Spider-girl's ignorance of events. Granted, if Satoru Toujo had not been their little scapegoat, Kamen Rider Odin may as well have been in the same position as the young woman.

However, Kamen Rider Odin, fortunately, had something of an advanatge in terms of information. Though, were it any other case, it would be wise to keep certain things secret, the situation called that he reveal what was asked of him or risk suspicion.

"Indeed, this strange phenomena has been existence for quite some time. Neither me nor my creator are entirely sure of the exact number, but we are certain that at least 4 or 5 of these games have been in existence.

"As for your question as to how I know of this, I refer to my earlier statement of one from my universe having participated in this 'game' before. As one chosen by the one who created me, whatever he did, my creator would know. I'm sure you can presume how I know of all this from there.

"As to what you may refer to me by, I bear the same name as the more benelovent of our hosts. Though if it would please you to avoid confusion, you may refer to me by my full title, Kamen Rider Odin."

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 06:06 PM

Kevin M. 06-11-2007 09:39 PM

Grimlock transformed into his robot mode, and began to walk around to get a better grasp of the area. "Grimlock wonder how other Dinobots doing with out me?" he said as he made his way back towards the crowd.

Froggy 06-11-2007 09:56 PM

Megaman looked around at the fantastical place. Dr Light never told him about these......gods, beings who seemed to be like humans, except MUCH MUCH more majestic.....He then saw Grimlock transformed and almost freaked out. He aimed his Mega Buster at him before shouting "FREEZE WILYBOT!"

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 06:07 PM

The Purple Skull 06-11-2007 09:59 PM

OOC: Love that questionnaire, Donald M. Can't say the same for B & K....

IC:

Immediately after having the questionnaire handed to them, Bob & Karl quickly discard it.

"Listen here..uh..Dwight. We appreciate what you are doing here, but it is not really necessary. What really is necessary is this."

Bob then hands Dwight a pamphlet "Join Hydra: A Better Tomorrow!"

"Have you considered starting an exciting career in the world of international terrorist organizations? Hydra is the answer, my friend. Medical and retirement benefits. Free passes to any strip club of your choice. Family programs. And of course, you get your very own kick-ass green uniform. Hail Hydra~!"

"Are you serious? We're in another dimension, partaking in an unpredictable game hosted by gods with our lives at stake, and the only thing you can do right now is recruit people into joining Hydra?!"

"Oh like you don't have any AIM brochures on you right now."

Karl puts his head down in shame. He then hands Dwight a pamphlet "AIM: The Future Is Now!"

"Have you considered starting an exciting career in the world weapons development?"

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 06:10 PM

Tommy 06-11-2007 09:59 PM

Bo could not believe he had said that out loud. Admitting his best friend was a werewolf? That was crazy talk. Then he took a look around. He was in Asgard, surrounded by women dressed like spiders, robotic dinosaurs, and Peter Pan. Perhaps admitting that he knew two werewolves (including the one that attacked him) was not the strangest thing possible in this place.

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 06:11 PM

Indigo Al 06-11-2007 10:02 PM

As Dwight Schrute downed a mug of Vanaheim Summer Ale and examined the contents of his desk, he suddenly felt two very small, yet very sharp points boring into his back, and a breath on his neck.

“Oww!” Dwight found himself exclaiming. Turning around, he saw what was to be the missing and final Player of the game:

“Is there an ice-skating rink around here?”

**Chris Lang** · 03-09-2016, 06:12 PM

darkkeeperjr 06-11-2007 10:09 PM

Peter pushed himself off the stool with little effort, his push had him floating in the air as if swimming in water. he threw peanuts at Bob and Karl till he got their attention. he began to turn flips in the air and kept waving at them for a few minuets,then turn and floated. Unknown to B&K Bling tied their shoelaces together.

He floated down to Spider-girl and asked her "what manner of spider are you?"

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