Traitor Game L: Existential Crisis

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 05:13 PM

Chris Lang 06-15-2007 03:36 PM

Originally Posted by Superheroic

"What magics is this?" Ares asked no one in particular. He removed his knife from the Hillbilly he'd just punctured and watched as all the other Ding-A-Lings fell asleep. He looked around, spying Tara across Tavern and knew fell the magic leeching off of her. "Well done, Witch," he said. "It will be like sho0ting fish in a barrel."

Ares pulled a pair of Desert Eagles out and began firing between the eyes of the sleeping Ding-A-Lings.

"I thought you were the god of war, not cold-blooded murder!" Spider-Girl shouted.

Then, a voice in her mind said Girl, war IS cold-blooded murder. Remember that line from Buffy's last season? 'War is about death. Stupid, needless death.' And Ares is the god of all wars, be they genuine wars of defense or wars of choice based on false evidence. You shouldn't expect him to have any respect for the sanctity of life, or any sense of sportsmanship or fair play. So don't be so shocked when you see him killing opponents who have already been made helpless.

"Forget it." Spider-Girl said. "You're the god of war. You've been this way for centuries. I shouldn't expect you to somehow turn into the god of chivalry or something just because I objected to your behavior."

Spider-Girl turned to address the others. "I'm sorry, everyone. I'm just having a hard time dealing with this. If you expect me to vote for who I think killed that Batman guy, I don't know if I can do it."

"I also don't know if I can work with people like them," she said, indicating Ares, Apocalypse, the Cyborg Santa, and Kamen Rider Odin. "It'd be so simple if they were Hela's assassins, but from what I hear, nothing's that simple in these Traitor Games."

"I think Dwight is just too obvious. Unless he really didn't think about how suspicious he'd seem, I don't think he'd pick a murder method that pointed directly to him. But what do I know? I'm not a detective."

OOC: This is to give you the heads up. I've PMed Indigo Al, and we've worked something out. These messages are sort of the setup. This might be my last IC post for a while.

Thanks for your support. If you wish to talk to me, feel free to PM me. I'll still be around from time to time, though I might not participate in this game much.

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 05:21 PM

Indigo Al 06-15-2007 03:55 PM

Odin teleported into the Players Tavern, Ma Ding-A-Ling encased in an Odinforce stasis field. With a wave of his hand, the rest of the cosmic hillbilly clan was gathered into the field.

"ENOW! this ignoble madness shall end! I commend thee, Tara Maclay, for thine ingenious spellwork. And in answer to thine previous query, aye, do all that ye must to discover the Agents of H.E.L.A."

Turning to Ma Ding-A-Ling, he said, "Who has guided thee to attack Valhalla? Speak, crone!"

"It were that Hell'er gal! She dun said we could git fruit pies n gold if we did wut she said!"

Hela blinked in just then. She was silent for a minute as Odin glared at her, and then she said. "Oh, what? Art there not supposed to be battles in the glorious warrior's paradise of Valhalla? Please!"

Through clenched teeth, Odin said, "Well, goddess, if the Family Ding-A-Ling are thy charges, thou shalt then be most pleased to be their neighbors - in NIFFLEHEIM!" with a violent blast of magic, the hillbillies and their trailer were hurled through space and time right next to Hela's palace in Niffleheim.

Through an omniscreen, the Players could see Batman leaping out of the way as the trailer almost landed on him. Then, at Odin snapped his fingers, they saw a rain of Hostess snacks come down. They heard the clan whooping and hollering "WAAA-HOOO! We ain't never leavin' this place!"

And with that, the matter of the Ding-A-Ling family's invasion of Valhalla was ended....

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 05:27 PM

Indigo Al 06-15-2007 04:01 PM

Originally Posted by Chris Lang

OOC: This is to give you the heads up. I've PMed Indigo Al, and we've worked something out. These messages are sort of the setup. This might be my last IC post for a while.

Thanks for your support. If you wish to talk to me, feel free to PM me. I'll still be around from time to time, though I might not participate in this game much.

OOC: Stay tuned (much) later tonight as Spider Girl is sent on a secret mission to uncover the external threat to Asgard and save the world - possibly many worlds!

tangentman 06-15-2007 04:18 PM

When the players began slaughtering the helpless Ding-A-Lings, Tara felt outraged. "Stop it! I didn't cast that spell so you could just murder them!" Her lip quivered as she faced Ares, Santa, Apocalypse, and their like-minded fellows.

Tara took several deep breaths to calm down. She knew from her dealings with Spike that monsters couldn't readily change their natures. Even when they chose to do good, the violence roiled underneath the surface. After taking her self-imposed "time out", Tara nodded slowly. "I think I know who might have killed Batman."

Cutting her eyes toward the individual in question, she said, "Cyborg Santa, I think Grimlock's right. You're the likeliest suspect. A good friend once told me that Santa Claus isn't all 'ho-ho-hos', that he was violent and...and evil. What you did just proved her right."

Tommy 06-15-2007 04:36 PM

With the Ding-A-Lings gone Bo approached Odin.

"Uhhh Mr. Odin, Sir, is there anywhere I can pick up a new tee-shirt? Mine got ruined."

Bo pulled his jacket over his bare chest. "And it is a little nippy... I mean cold here."

Kevin M. 06-15-2007 04:39 PM

With the Ding-a-Lings gone, Grimlock put away his weapons. "Over already" Grimlock said disapointed. "Me Grimlock want a better challange" he said aloud. "That was to easy!"

Eternal Torment 06-15-2007 05:00 PM

"Thorpool seems like the one to do it. Despite having more of Thor's mindset, he still has the instability that was inherent inside Deadpool."

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 05:29 PM

Deadpooligan 06-15-2007 05:09 PM

Originally Posted by Eternal Torment

"Thorpool seems like the one to do it. Despite having more of Thor's mindset, he still has the instability that was inherent inside Deadpool."

"Hey, I may be (formerly) handsomely challenged, but at least my mother never abandoned me in the desert for it!"

"Oooh... what a burn, verily."
"I concur."
"Indeed."
"That blue guy tis ugly!"

"And unstable? What is this nonsense thou speaketh of? Thou art crazier than a sandwich of soup! Thou idolizes mass genocide! Thou have never been written well, either!

Pheonix-NoRelation 06-15-2007 05:19 PM

Batman did it. Do I need a reason? No, I don't. He just did it.

GoGo Yubari 06-15-2007 05:22 PM

Ty Lee frowned, realizing that the weird hilbillies (which was surprising in and of itself to her; she thought they were mostly in the Earth Kingdom, but the Water Tribes have them too?) that she was dodging effortlessly had suddenly up and left, thus depriving her of all the fun she was having. Still, always able to succintly sum things up, she finally spoke up after defering to the opinions of others.

"... that was weird. And... oh wait, we're still supposed to vote and everything, aren't we? Oh, but I don't even suspect anyone..."

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 05:32 PM

Eternal Torment 06-15-2007 05:26 PM

Originally Posted by Deadpooligan

"Hey, I may be (formerly) handsomely challenged, but at least my mother never abandoned me in the desert for it!"

"Oooh... what a burn, verily."
"I concur."
"Indeed."
"That blue guy tis ugly!"

"And unstable? What is this nonsense thou speaketh of? Thou art crazier than a sandwich of soup! Thou idolizes mass genocide! Thou have never been written well, either!

"But on the other hand, everything I have done is in the name of all mutants. Also, I have not performed a dragon punch on a woman just because I wanted to face off against her friend, who I consider to be a better fighter than you. And if I were serious in a battle, the sheer amount of projectiles would stop somebody from getting any closer than a mile to me."

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 05:34 PM

The Purple Skull 06-15-2007 05:34 PM

As Apocalypse continues his assault on the Hillbilly Crew, Bob & Karl watch on from their hiding place.

"That's right Poccy! Show them who's not fit enough for survival."

"Shut up Bob! Don't blow our hiding space!"

Minutes later, Cyborg Santa came by and provided Bob & Karl with some weaponry...

"Oh yeah, baby! That's what I'm talking about! HAIL HYDRA!"

"This is not a good idea! I'm an engineer! Not a soldier!"

Only to have it taken away by Spider-Girl.

"You are so not fun, Spider-Chick. Thank god I decided not to get up on some of you."

"Umm she kind of rejected your advances."

"Shut Up!"

Minutes later, the Ding-A-Ling invasion was finally over. It was now time for some good old-fashioned bragging.

"I am going to have to say that the MVP of this battle would have to be....myself! If it wasn't for my quick thinking with the distraction, and of course these awesome pirate outfits, we would still be in this predicament. So 3 cheers for me, Bob: Agent of Hydra!"

"Oh god. Please, everybody, just ignore him."

"Three cheers for me! Hip Hip..."

(Silence)

"Hip Hip..."

(Silence)

"The next round of drinks is on me! Hip Hip..."

Everybody: "Hooray!"

"There we go. Now lemme go pass around the drinks."

"I think you better let me do that, Bob. You might do something that we will both regret."

"Nonsense Karl. I'll do it. Just relax buddy."

"I insist that you let me pass around the drinks."

"And I insist that you don't. Now let go of the tray."

"No, you let go of the tray."

"I said let go! Let g---"

As Bob & Karl fight for the tray, Karl releases his grip causing the tray full of drinks to fly off and land right on.....Ares.

Bob & Karl: "Oh dear sweet merciful crap..."

OOC: Be merciful, Superheroic. :)

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 05:35 PM

Weirdopky 06-15-2007 05:48 PM

After noticing that a fair amount of people had voted for him, Santa had to stand up for himself.

Ok, ok, I get it. I have anger issues, and I like killing. Listen to me. I'm one of your only sources about traitor games. I WAS THE HOST OF ONE, FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!! If you need to know one thing, it's that even the good guys can be working for HELA. In the game I hosted, specifically, The Flash and Archie from the Archie comics were the two traitors. Doesn't that show you that not every traitor has to have a motive for killing? Jeez. I'm not a traitor, I swear. If you vote me out, you're wasting one turn, and that means another life lost. Think about that before rushing in.

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 05:42 PM

Schornforce 06-15-2007 06:29 PM

Piggy just noted that she was voting for Santa Jerk. Mostly out of bitterness that he came through her previous tantrum relatively unscathed. She would've given an excellent, indisputable reason for her vote (to cover up the fact that she was merely voting out of spite), but--

then the hillbillies arrived.

Piggy was targeted by a couple of them who were screamin' "CHITLINS FER A YEAR!!!"

She ran screaming away from the other players.

"C'mon brother/pa, we's gots' ta kitch 'er! I kin' taste them thar pork rahnds now!!!"

Piggy dodged a shotgun blast and was going to simply duck and cover when brother/pa said, "If'n we bag her, a hog THAT fat'd feed our family more'n them delicious fruit pies with their tendah flakey crust and tasty fruit fillin'!!! Look! Th' fat's jus' drippin' offa' her!"

Hearing her weight insulted yet again, Piggy had finally had enough.

She STOMPED her gorgeously tasteful high heel down with enough force to make Grimlock proud.

"YOU DUMB BOZOS!!! THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT A LADY????!!!!"

The two hillbillies looked at each other a moment, then laughed hysterically as more of their kinfolk joined them in surrounding Miss Piggy and joining in the laughter. Some of them lifting their noses into faux pig snouts and snorting at her.

"Yer no lady-- I made that mistake ONCE. Nevah again. No lady's as uuuuugly as yew!!!" said brother/pa in his soon-to-be last lingering moments of consciousness.

...

Piggy trembled with unbridled fury.

"You bunch of turkeys have made me angry....

you wouldn't like me, when I'm ANGRY......"

Well, what happened next isn't very clear. There was a lot of screaming and several large cracks in the battleground.

A big ol' heap of the redneck hillbilly hicks from heck lay unconscious as Piggy appeared back with the other players, while smoothing her hair.

"So....

...what'd I miss?"

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 05:44 PM

Joe Acro 06-15-2007 07:23 PM

When one of the players, a woman named Tara, cast a sleep spell, the fight was pretty much over. A few, such as the Cyborg Santa and Apocalypse, continued killing the downed Ding-A-Lings. A few other players, such as Spider-Girl and Tara herself objected to this action. I might have as well had not Odin then called the battle finished and transported to large family to Niffleheim. Apparently, the group had been hired, so to speak, by Hela.

I felt a little silly, actually. I had gone to the trouble of giving the family some fruit pies, some of which Thorpool had snatched out of the air, only to have it not make a difference. The vending machine was broken and its previous items were strewn across the Player's Tavern.

In response to a large group of people voting for him, the Cyborg Santa spoke in his defense. It seems that he was once a Traitor Game host wherein some version of the Flash and that old comic book character Archie were the traitors. Intrigued by this revelation, I decided to talk with him before he was banished, which seemed likely at that point. But before the conversation took place, I gave my own vote, saying to Odin, "I am voting for Apocalypse. More than once, I encountered him or a different version of him in my own reality. Although it is true that his intentions were less self-centered in all but our first meeting, he remained a powerful, brilliant adversary that was willing to kill people, directly or indirectly, to suit his own whim. After watching him in combat and hearing some of his words, I know that this Apocalypse is not much different, if any, from the one I used to know."

I'll expand on what happened between me and my reality's Apocalypse a little later, but right now I'll keep with the flowing story. After giving that brief speech, I walked over to the Cyborg Santa and asked, "So, you knew the Flash? Which one?"

Indigo Al 06-15-2007 07:26 PM

OOC: I have to say - all of you have exceeded my expectations in terms of humor and story! I only hope the rest of what I have planned is half as fun as the Ding-A-Ling battle!

Indigo Al 06-15-2007 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by Pheonix-NoRelation

Batman did it. Do I need a reason? No, I don't. He just did it.

"Thou dost believe he committed suicide?" Hela asked, in astral projection. "Curious. But as long as thou dost hold to that belief, mine Agents shall remain safe amongst thee."

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 05:47 PM

Donald M. 06-15-2007 07:40 PM

Originally Posted by The Purple Skull

"I am going to have to say that the MVP of this battle would have to be....myself! If it wasn't for my quick thinking with the distraction, and of course these awesome pirate outfits, we would still be in this predicament. So 3 cheers for me, Bob: Agent of Hydra!"

"Oh god. Please, everybody, just ignore him."

"Three cheers for me! Hip Hip..."

(Silence)

"Hip Hip..."

(Silence)

"The next round of drinks is on me! Hip Hip..."

Everybody: "Hooray!"

"Isn't it an open bar?" Dwight asked, but his question was drowned out by the cheers of the other players and assembled gods.

"There we go. Now lemme go pass around the drinks."

"I think you better let me do that, Bob. You might do something that we will both regret."

"Nonsense Karl. I'll do it. Just relax buddy."

"I insist that you let me pass around the drinks."

"And I insist that you don't. Now let go of the tray."

"No, you let go of the tray."

"I said let go! Let g---"

As Bob & Karl fight for the tray, Karl releases his grip causing the tray full of drinks to fly off and land right on.....Ares.

Bob & Karl: "Oh dear sweet merciful crap..."

"I guess this round of drinks is on Ares," Dwight said with a snort, pulling up a chair and producing a bag of popcorn from the bowels of his desk.

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 06:01 PM

Indigo Al 06-15-2007 07:44 PM

Originally Posted by Tommy

With the Ding-A-Lings gone Bo approached Odin.

"Uhhh Mr. Odin, Sir, is there anywhere I can pick up a new tee-shirt? Mine got ruined."

Bo pulled his jacket over his bare chest. "And it is a little nippy... I mean cold here."

Odin was about to address the young werewolf, when all of a sudden, Fandral walked in from the Great Hall and approached him.

"Well met lad! I am the dashing Fandral! Worry not about thine shirt. This be Asgard! We be men! Tell me, hast thou ever witnessed a gladiator match? I didst once journey to Olympus, where yon warriors, all covered in oil......"

Crimson King 06-15-2007 07:45 PM

Hotaru points at the cyborg santa and said, "I'll vote for that guy. he looks like he could have made the kill"

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 06:03 PM

Superheroic 06-15-2007 07:52 PM

Originally Posted by tangentman

When the players began slaughtering the helpless Ding-A-Lings, Tara felt outraged. "Stop it! I didn't cast that spell so you could just murder them!" Her lip quivered as she faced Ares, Santa, Apocalypse, and their like-minded fellows.

As Ares was about to have a deep and meaningful conversation with Spider-Girl and Tara about showing mercy to those who would show none to you a couple of Idiots walked by.

Originally Posted by The Purple Skull

"There we go. Now lemme go pass around the drinks."

"I think you better let me do that, Bob. You might do something that we will both regret."

"Nonsense Karl. I'll do it. Just relax buddy."

"I insist that you let me pass around the drinks."

"And I insist that you don't. Now let go of the tray."

"No, you let go of the tray."

"I said let go! Let g---"

As Bob & Karl fight for the tray, Karl releases his grip causing the tray full of drinks to fly off and land right on.....Ares.

Bob & Karl: "Oh dear sweet merciful crap..."

OOC: Be merciful, Superheroic.

OOC: Merciful? Bwaah Hah hahahahahahaha!

BIC: The warm sticky mead trickled over Ares' face and armor. His weapons were covered in it. Ares closed his eyes.

Ares punched Karl in the face. The force of the blow tore Karl's head from his body. Bob was splashed in blood and stared wide-eyed as the head flew across the room then inexplicably smashed him in the face as it teleported back to his location. Bob fell backwards from the impact from Karl's head. It looked up at Bob and whispered, "you...never...listen..to...meeeeee.....".

"You are a fool!" Ares said raising an axe. "I do not abide fools." The axe crashed down through Bob's skull.

Ares opened his eyes and grabbed Bob and Karl, "Idiots!" He wiped his face with Bob, then Karl. "You have no idea just how lucky you idiots are." He walked the two frightened men towards the Tavern's door. "Let's put you someplace so you'll stay out of trouble."

Ares lifted the two men up and hung them from their underwear on two coat hooks. The two squealed like stuck pigs. Ares smiled as he walked away.

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 06:04 PM

The Purple Skull 06-15-2007 07:53 PM

OOC: This happens sometime after Superheroic's post. I'll post what happened there tomorrow.

IC:

"Karl, who's that in the green outfit."

"That would be Fandral, dude."

"Hey! You're the dude with the porno in the computer! Man, I gotta say, you have a GREAT collection! You're all right in my book, buddy."

Karl just shakes his head again.

OOC: And that's it for me for tonight. I won't be here cause I'm gonna be at a strip club tonight. :D Later guys!

Indigo Al 06-15-2007 07:59 PM

Originally Posted by The Purple Skull

OOC: And that's it for me for tonight. I won't be here cause I'm gonna be at a strip club tonight. :D Later guys!

OOC: Hands at your side at all times, Playa! have fun.

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 06:18 PM

Superheroic 06-15-2007 08:00 PM

Originally Posted by Dwight Schute.

"I guess this round of drinks is on Ares," Dwight said with a snort, pulling up a chair and producing a bag of popcorn from the bowels of his desk.

Ares snatched the bowl from Dwight's hands as he walked past. "I am not amused." Ares upended the bowl over Dwight's head.

Tommy 06-15-2007 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by Indigo Al

"Well met lad! I am the dashing Fandral! Worry not about thine shirt. This be Asgard! We be men! Tell me, hast thou ever witnessed a gladiator match? I didst once journey to Olympus, where yon warriors, all covered in oil......"

Noting that Fandral was going on about naked men, fighting, and the proper way to apply oil, Bo turned to Odin.

"Ummm. I guess I will just have to go shirtless for awhile," then he muttered under his breath "Although these are hard enough to cut glass."

"Anywho... I am voting for Apocalypse. By the way did F-Man over there just quote Airplane?"

GoGo Yubari 06-15-2007 08:17 PM

Originally Posted by Donald M.

"I guess this round of drinks is on Ares," Dwight said with a snort, pulling up a chair and producing a bag of popcorn from the bowels of his desk.

Ty Lee paused for a moment, tapping her bottom lip with her index finger, and then moments later...

"Oh, I get it! Because... yeah. On Ares, and... anyway, I think I'm going to sit out of voting this time. I mean, sure some of the players seem like huge jerks, but does that mean they really did it or anything? I dunno..."

**Chris Lang** · 03-10-2016, 06:23 PM

darkkeeperjr 06-15-2007 08:24 PM

Pan rose above the crowd,with bling flying around him blinking grabbing everyone's attention. "I vote for Santa because he's not real! I have seen the real santa and you toy is not the real [B]santa!"

Froggy 06-15-2007 08:31 PM

OOC: yea sorry about not posting as much.....awkward event just happened with someone i know being manipulated by a supposed "Friend" of mine

Megaman stared at Fandral with amusement, then shuddered. "Gladiators...in oil"

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