The LGBTQIA-community

[MasterOfMagnetism]

So freakin' true. I'm stilled pissed at the writers of Quantico for crap they pulled. Not watching that, again. I am excited for HTGAWM coming back next week Thursday. They've done a good job with their gay characters, but Shonda shows tend to be awesome when it comes to diversity and inclusion.

Yeah, Quantico was truly God-awful and I've heard a few other shows lately haven't been much better. And I'm looking forward to HTGAWM returning too, I watch it with my parents.

[Silvermoth]

Being grateful for an apology sounds alot like begging for acceptance to me. There shouldn't be a "step in the right direction" homosexuality was practiced all over the world before colonialism/Imperialism began its choke-hold on all of society. Many if not most indigenous people tolerated and frequently revered homosexuals. "We've been here, You're Queer, So stick in your Rear" This shit is so stupid when you stop and think bout all the time society has had to fucking grow up.

No, it's always good to be challenged by people every now and then. It stops people from becoming out of touch or only listening to one perspective.

You're right, we should just be free and equal right away. But if it was that easy we would have done it years ago. To be honest if it was that easy to change things then people probably would have changed them back too. Although it is infuriatingly slow, it is important to keep progressing and fighting. There's already been critical improvements and every generation has a responsibility to make even more improvements.

Side Note: My FagHag and I broke up tonight....So sorry if I am a little snippy.

Sorry to hear about you and your friend. Give it time, I'm sure you'll be friends again or meet someone nice and even more fun

[numberthirty]

But overall, I would say that marriage is simply a symbolic gesture with little or no actual significance to society, depending on the laws in question.

Marriage is just a mess, and always has been. Welding religion to law the way they did was only going to create a scenario where everyone felt like their religious view was getting stepped on and plenty of people were never going to get to have a legally "equal" marriage.

Even with the progress that has been made, the institution is still set up for a one "X" and one "X" situation. That obviously flips the bird to any three or more people outside of that paradigm. It says pretty plainly "Yeah, you don't get to be couples' equal. Not even the couples we just decided get to be equal."

That's before you even get to if a marriage actually means that some "greater" commitment has actually been made. While there are obviously plenty of couples where that is the case, it is not a given just because a pair of names is on a marriage license.

[numberthirty]

I'm shocked I didn't mention it earlier, because I'm seriously in love with it. I never thought I'd say a show on the CW would have good writing, but this one does. If you like zany, dark (but not hopelessly depressing) comedies with wacky, yet relate-able characters, I think you'll like it.

Bonus points for the CW going with a clearly "Outsider" sort of a show.

Also, I would argue that the writing on Everybody Hate Chris was actually pretty stellar.

[Charmed]

Yeah, Quantico was truly God-awful and I've heard a few other shows lately haven't been much better. And I'm looking forward to HTGAWM returning too, I watch it with my parents.

It's a damn shame because I was sooo looking forward to Quantico when I saw the previews. It had multiple people of color, had a WOC as the protagonist, and, an openly gay character....but we know how that went. *sigh

My mother and I used to watch HTGAWM in separate rooms, but she stopped, because it comes on at 10 pm (Eastern Standard Time) and she has work the next day at about 5 am. Plus, I remember hearing her change the channel whenever Connor had sex, so I think it made her uncomfortable too. Of course, it doesn't make me uncomfortable at all

Also, I would argue that the writing on Everybody Hate Chris was actually pretty stellar.

I always considered it a UPN show, until the internet told me it was on The CW for most of its run, which I should have realized xD The writing was amazing. That episode where Rochelle doesn't want to use the food stamps Julius found still cracks me up.

[twincast]

That's incredibly judgemental. They don't stop being people just cause they have money or are famous. And we don't even know if they are actually in the closet!

(it looks that she's just wrong, at least in regards to Will)

Oh please, as if the mother of his "bonus child" (ugh) wouldn't lie about that. I don't care either way, but they've both been consistently rumored to be gay for so long, I'd be almost as "surprised" at them coming out as I was in Ricky "surrounds himself with pretty men" Martin's case.

I've heard of grindr posters putting stuff like that up; but (as with all things) it's thankfully a small vocal minority. A bigger issue (from my understanding) isn't the calls to exclude BUT more those who see someone's race as 'exotic' or kinky; where the personality and humanity is utterly robbed away. A race should not be a fetish

Seriously? You complain about someone having their "personality robbed away" at hook-ups? And people have preferences of varying narrowness when it comes to looks; that's utterly normal. I doubt you'd get all high and mighty over people wanting taller/smaller, thicker/thinner, older/younger, hairier/smoother, fatter/fitter et al. partners in love and/or lust. But throw in skin color and facial features, and suddenly *everything* becomes racist. Ridiculous.

DC has one prominent black character; Cyborg and one prominent gay character; Midnighter. That seems to be how DC operates; one token minority gets some spotlight. Their gay character used to be Batwoman but they gave Midnighter his own series and now Batwoman doesn't have a book. And despite what Gail Simone might think she hasn't actually confirmed that Catman is bisexual. And it's still hard for people to look at the trio of bisexual female villains; Catwoman, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn and not see them as just cheesecake spank-bait.

At least Marvel has Black Panther, Sam Wilson, Kamala Khan, Miles Morales, The Ultimates, Angela & Sera, Wiccan & Hulkling, Storm and other assorted minority X-Men. But sure, Marvel is hardly any more diverse than DC...

I completely agree with this. Also Bunker as DC's one gay teen of note (and sole gay teen hero, period). Which is why Herc's revisionist bi-erasure was so utterly baffling on top of being disappointing.

So freakin' true. I'm stilled pissed at the writers of Quantico for crap they pulled. Not watching that, again. I am excited for HTGAWM coming back next week Thursday. They've done a good job with their gay characters, but Shonda shows tend to be awesome when it comes to diversity and inclusion.

Yeah, HTGAWM is great in general as well as in that regard in particular, as is The Fosters. And Major Crimes still has a nice amount of (excellent) cases with queer characters per season, as did The Closer before it, but I'm sad to say I'm slowly getting tired of Rusty "took way too long to come out" Beck - and of all the obvious love interests he's had over the years, the one they finally decided to go with is the one he's got the least chemistry with by far. Splendid. *sigh* I still wistfully look back to the first of them, the cute one episode "buy guy" that rather obviously got rewritten - same surname, similar role - into Amy's recurring (then future) boyfriend whose name escapes me.

As for more recent series: I enjoyed what little there's been so far in The Expanse (which is awesome, by the way). And I've never had the slightest interest in The Mortal Instruments, but since I knew of there being a queer couple among the supporting characters, I thought I'd at least give Shadowhunters a try... Oh dear, both the writing and the acting are so awful (and so consistently so, it's almost worthy of admiration), they make Teen Wolf and even The Vampire Diaries seem like masterpieces in comparison. It could hardly be any more cliché and stilted, but so far it surprisingly enough actually manages to rank as "so bad it's good" for me; I doubt I'd be able to suffer more than a single season of it, though.

Oh, and not to forget the pleasant anime surprises of (great) Mobile Suit Gundam: Tekketsu no Orphans's secondary character Yamagi and (not bad) Haruchika: Haruta to Chika wa Seishun Suru's primary character Haruta (Fun fact: Same Seiyuu!), which unlike the main couples of Soukyuu no Fafner or (apparently; I'm way behind) Owari no Seraph don't (re-)hide behind that one last layer of deniability for their morally Abrahamised mainstream audience. Well, Tekketsu could still chicken out at, but so far it seems like they're really commited to it, and unlike Haruta, Yamagi at least has a wee tiny little bit of a chance of having his feelings returned. On the other hand, Haruta and his crush have an insurmountably higher chance of survival than Yamagi and his do.

[Charmed]

Seriously? You complain about someone having their "personality robbed away" at hook-ups? And people have preferences of varying narrowness when it comes to looks; that's utterly normal. I doubt you'd get all high and mighty over people wanting taller/smaller, thicker/thinner, older/younger, hairier/smoother, fatter/fitter et al. partners in love and/or lust. But throw in skin color and facial features, and suddenly *everything* becomes racist. Ridiculous.

Having preferences is normal, sure, but going on a dating profile and posting "No Asians, Blacks, Jews, Fems etc. Allowed" just makes one sound like an elitist piece of crap. Far be it from me to tell anyone how to live their life, but if, for example, a white person, prefers dating within their race, and someone outside of their race sends them some kind of dating request, would it really be that hard to send back a 'no' without resorting to the tried and true: "I'm not a racist, but I don't want Asians sending me dating requests, because I'm just not into them" as the first thing you see on their page? If there's such a thing as "The One" then that person could have maybe missed their chance, because they decided to blanket all people of an "un-preferred" racial categorization as unworthy of their time and effort.

I can't speak for Kieran, but I know some people, myself included, who would have a problem with someone putting "No fatties" on their page. Even if you prefer your partners "fitter" or "healthier" (though there are those who don't realize that all thicker people aren't unhealthy), what's the point in putting that out there? To save time? Sure, I can see the reasoning behind that, but if we're talking about one of those apps where you swipe left for 'nah' and right for 'yah', what's an extra two seconds?

At the end of the day, what we prefer is what we prefer, but I feel like it takes a major a-hole to single out ethnic, racial, and other minorities. Especially when those minorities, be they people of color, or curvy/thick, have had to endure a system which tells them they aren't as beautiful as the very same people who are likely to dismiss or fetishize them (not always)

And when someone in a hook-up assumes (how often this happens I have no idea) that you're into some special kind of kink, or are willing to really "go there", or be treated a certain way sexually, because you're of a certain color, I would agree that that's having your personality taken from you, in a manner of speaking. It's basically being reduced to a stereotype, and having your individuality traded, or tossed aside, to fulfill a person's sexual desires in that moment. And maybe it's fair to say that all kinds of stereotypes, some of which have little to do with race, are at play when it comes to hook-ups. However, the ones that are, exist in a world, and especially in my case, a country (U.S.) where stereotypes have many ill effects and outcomes, both in, and out, of sex, so it will always be disappointing, though predictable, when those stereotypes hit a POC, just looking to make whoopie.

Yeah, HTGAWM is great in general as well as in that regard in particular, as is The Fosters. And Major Crimes still has a nice amount of (excellent) cases with queer characters per season, as did The Closer before it, but I'm sad to say I'm slowly getting tired of Rusty "took way too long to come out" Beck - and of all the obvious love interests he's had over the years, the one they finally decided to go with is the one he's got the least chemistry with by far. Splendid. *sigh* I still wistfully look back to the first of them, the cute one episode "buy guy" that rather obviously got rewritten - same surname, similar role - into Amy's recurring (then future) boyfriend whose name escapes me.

A friend of mine loves The Fosters. By the time it started to gain traction, I didn't get ABCFamily on my television anymore lol
American Crime Season 2 has an out gay character, and one who is questioning, though the show tells the audience he's in denial. Still, it's kind of depressing, but very riveting.

As for more recent series: I enjoyed what little there's been so far in The Expanse (which is awesome, by the way). And I've never had the slightest interest in The Mortal Instruments, but since I knew of there being a queer couple among the supporting characters, I thought I'd at least give Shadowhunters a try... Oh dear, both the writing and the acting are so awful (and so consistently so, it's almost worthy of admiration), they make Teen Wolf and even The Vampire Diaries seem like masterpieces in comparison. It could hardly be any more cliché and stilted, but so far it surprisingly enough actually manages to rank as "so bad it's good" for me; I doubt I'd be able to suffer more than a single season of it, though.

I've seen some pretty nice things from the sites I frequent on The Expanse.

Oh, and not to forget the pleasant anime surprises of (great) Mobile Suit Gundam: Tekketsu no Orphans's secondary character Yamagi and (not bad) Haruchika: Haruta to Chika wa Seishun Suru's primary character Haruta (Fun fact: Same Seiyuu!), which unlike the main couples of Soukyuu no Fafner or (apparently; I'm way behind) Owari no Seraph don't (re-)hide behind that one last layer of deniability for their morally Abrahamised mainstream audience. Well, Tekketsu could still chicken out at, but so far it seems like they're really commited to it, and unlike Haruta, Yamagi at least has a wee tiny little bit of a chance of having his feelings returned. On the other hand, Haruta and his crush have an insurmountably higher chance of survival than Yamagi and his do.

I haven't seen an anime in a while. The last one(s) I watched were the Ghost in the Shell: Arise movies. I really liked them, so I'm probably going to watch GITS: Stand Alone Complex as well, since I heard those were the best.

I didn't even know they still made Gundam. I remember having a bit of a crush on this character from that series. Don't remember the name, but he had brown hair and always wore this tank top (I think it was either white or tan). That led to my later crush of Gohan xD

[Reality]

Having preferences is normal, sure, but going on a dating profile and posting "No Asians, Blacks, Jews, Fems etc. Allowed" just makes one sound like an elitist piece of crap. Far be it from me to tell anyone how to live their life, but if, for example, a white person, prefers dating within their race, and someone outside of their race sends them some kind of dating request, would it really be that hard to send back a 'no' without resorting to the tried and true: "I'm not a racist, but I don't want Asians sending me dating requests, because I'm just not into them" as the first thing you see on their page? If there's such a thing as "The One" then that person could have maybe missed their chance, because they decided to blanket all people of an "un-preferred" racial categorization as unworthy of their time and effort.

I can't speak for Kieran, but I know some people, myself included, who would have a problem with someone putting "No fatties" on their page. Even if you prefer your partners "fitter" or "healthier" (though there are those who don't realize that all thicker people aren't unhealthy), what's the point in putting that out there? To save time? Sure, I can see the reasoning behind that, but if we're talking about one of those apps where you swipe left for 'nah' and right for 'yah', what's an extra two seconds?

At the end of the day, what we prefer is what we prefer, but I feel like it takes a major a-hole to single out ethnic, racial, and other minorities. Especially when those minorities, be they people of color, or curvy/thick, have had to endure a system which tells them they aren't as beautiful as the very same people who are likely to dismiss or fetishize them (not always)

And when someone in a hook-up assumes (how often this happens I have no idea) that you're into some special kind of kink, or are willing to really "go there", or be treated a certain way sexually, because you're of a certain color, I would agree that that's having your personality taken from you, in a manner of speaking. It's basically being reduced to a stereotype, and having your individuality traded, or tossed aside, to fulfill a person's sexual desires in that moment. And maybe it's fair to say that all kinds of stereotypes, some of which have little to do with race, are at play when it comes to hook-ups. However, the ones that are, exist in a world, and especially in my case, a country (U.S.) where stereotypes have many ill effects and outcomes, both in, and out, of sex, so it will always be disappointing, though predictable, when those stereotypes hit a POC, just looking to make whoopie.

While it's true putting that in the profile is dickish, I think there is no shame in having preferences of attraction. Many people prefer other groups than their own, too. And many non-white people stick to their own group. It cuts both ways. Really, it's a matter of manners. Tell someone you're not interested, sure, but actually bother to tell them. Rejection is a part of dating and trying to substitute a "keep out" sign for it is a disservice to everyone. That's the most polite way to navigate dating apps, IMHO.

I mean, they could just ignore those messages from people they are unattracted to, you know? It's just kinda douchey. But I doubt that it is usually racist, because lots of racists still like to bone their target groups.

[Viteh]

Seriously? You complain about someone having their "personality robbed away" at hook-ups? And people have preferences of varying narrowness when it comes to looks; that's utterly normal. I doubt you'd get all high and mighty over people wanting taller/smaller, thicker/thinner, older/younger, hairier/smoother, fatter/fitter et al. partners in love and/or lust. But throw in skin color and facial features, and suddenly *everything* becomes racist. Ridiculous.

Not quite. While part of it may actually come from the same place as other "personal" preferences, the race ones also come from people's biases, and other stuff they got from society.

[Kieran_Frost]

And people have preferences of varying narrowness when it comes to looks; that's utterly normal.

Saying "no blacks" ISN'T 'NORMAL'!!! Having a preference for one race over another when it comes to who we are instantly sexually attracted to is normal (we can't control it), having an inability to find ANY black male attractive regardless of how good his body is, how perfect his face is shaped, how amazing his personality is, how good he smells, etc... THAT IS NOT NORMAL! That is ingrained racism to say that no black male in the history of the world can possibly get you excited. It's normal to (say) find latino guys hot, over (say) white guys. It isn't normal to take A PREFERENCE and make it a rule, to actively discount an entire race of people. There are easily over 500 million black men in this world, it's laughable to say ANYONE couldn't find at-least a few attractive (without being a racist).

I doubt you'd get all high and mighty over people wanting taller/smaller, thicker/thinner, older/younger, hairier/smoother, fatter/fitter et al. partners in love and/or lust. But throw in skin color and facial features, and suddenly *everything* becomes racist. Ridiculous.

I personally don't get the whole "hook-up" life in general (hence why I'm married ). But if it was a dating website, I think it's weird to start any profile with "no this, no that, certainly no ______"; because you're making yourself seem both negative, judgemental and an all round nasty individual (and who wants to date someone like that???)

I can't speak for Kieran, but I know some people, myself included, who would have a problem with someone putting "No fatties" on their page. Even if you prefer your partners "fitter" or "healthier" (though there are those who don't realize that all thicker people aren't unhealthy), what's the point in putting that out there? To save time? Sure, I can see the reasoning behind that, but if we're talking about one of those apps where you swipe left for 'nah' and right for 'yah', what's an extra two seconds?

As I said above, I think putting any form of discrimination in someone's profile is weird. If you don't want to date or hook-up with them, just ignore their message (and if they persist, block them). It's really quite easy. And agreed, if you prefer a partner to be healthy (as I do), just reply to the ones who seem to fit the bill. No need to make anyone feel bad by shaming them on your profile.

While it's true putting that in the profile is dickish, I think there is no shame in having preferences of attraction. Many people prefer other groups than their own, too. And many non-white people stick to their own group. It cuts both ways. Really, it's a matter of manners. Tell someone you're not interested, sure, but actually bother to tell them. Rejection is a part of dating and trying to substitute a "keep out" sign for it is a disservice to everyone. That's the most polite way to navigate dating apps, IMHO.

A preference is not the same as a rule, though. To use me as an example: on average I find black guys hotter than Asian guys; BUT there is a huge, HUGE difference between acknowledging my preference to myself and putting "only black guys apply" or "no Asians" on a profile (because that is discounting everything they have to offer AS A PERSON, and making it clear they can be a massive d*ck with no personality and no interests in common, but get me some of that jungle fever and we're all okay ). If I discounted all guys who aren't black, I wouldn't have dated a wonderful half-Asian guy in New York, I certainly wouldn't be married right now to a half-Italian Caucasian guy. Someone is worth more than "just" their race being a fetish or their race being a turn off, and people offer so, so SOOOOO MUCH more than their skin colour when it comes to being a suitable match (even IF it is just a "hook-up").

Hook-ups are about sex, and there is no "one way" or "another way" AN ENTIRE RACE have sex; so to say an entire race won't be a match is nothing but racism. Period.

[Time Like Lightning]

Kieran and Viteh both basically said variations of this already, but what it comes down to, I think, is that prejudices-- I believe-- can influence attractions.

If someone's racist, or prejudiced against fat people or feminine people (that latter one could be due to internalized homophobia, or misogyny), that's going to affect other parts of their heart and mind-- like, who they're attracted to. So someone saying "I'm just not attracted to any Asian people or anyone not in perfect physical condition" makes me raise an eyebrow about why they're not.

Kieran's right in that if we're not interested, we just shouldn't message. We don't need to be rude about it. But we also should evaluate our own prejudices every now and then.

One of my friends was really annoyed when I pointed out, for instance, that he might not be able to pass as straight in a job interview, based on the femininity of his voice. Like, annoyed/offended, not at society for creating a situation in which a male feminine voice is less than desirable, but at me for suggesting he might have one (and for the record, I have one, too).

No one is 100% masculine or 100% feminine, LGBT+ or not, and a lot of LGBT+ guys strive to reach this weird level of masculinity that, in my opinion, is toxic. Why do we hate all things feminine so much? Why do we get annoyed by LGBT+ guys who are more feminine than us? (And in my opinion, there's always some more feminine and someone more masculine than you. It's just how the world works.) It's all stuff to work on and process.

[Holt]

Yeah. Everyone has preferences. Heck for the longest time I straight up wasn't a fan of dudes with long hair or beards. But even if you're not looking for something, putting that in your profile, especially for something as volatile as race, seems needlessly rude and like you're inviting trouble.

If someone who isn't my type tried to hit me up, I'd tell him I'm not interested. It's that easy.

Anyway, the last episode had one character kiss another character on the cheek and wink at him, which I totally saw coming, and, naturally, I was blown away at how adorable is. Also, I like the fact (assuming the character that received the kiss is not-straight [i use this instead of queer b/c I know a few of you are uncomfortable with the term]) that one of the guys is over 40, and not traditionally 'attractive', though he could get it in my opinion. Gosh, I'm just crossing my fingers that they actually date and that it's not one of those, "I was just trying to cheer you up with a kiss and a wink because you were sad, bro" moments.

That sounds so cool. Maybe it's just the bar being set so low, but I'm continually astonished when I see shows actually let older or not traditionally attractive gays be physically affectionate.

[Silvermoth]

I think the golden rule with online dating is saying what you're into (looking for fun geeks) rather than what you're not (no Asians etc).

Personally I don't think anyone should fetishise or ostracise races from dating. The world is so diverse and every race has beautiful people and maybe not so beautiful people. Plus if we base our dating profiles around race we will make people in our own community feel isolated and then we become the new oppressors.

By the way, I had the best date ever last night. It was so much fun. We went to a Japanese bar and sometimes it can take me a while to warm up to people but he was really easy to talk to and we talked for ages. Then we went and watched anime and after that got maccas (everything else was shut). He's really cute too. I hope it works out.

The weird part is though when we left we shook hands. Is this usual or did I get friend zoned? It's ok if I did, I just need to know what to expect. He seems really nice. Do most people shake hands at the end of dates?

[twincast]

Not quite. While part of it may actually come from the same place as other "personal" preferences, the race ones also come from people's biases, and other stuff they got from society.

Same can be said for most people who only go for a certain hair color and a number of other fetishes - actually probably all of them. And I'm not saying that racism can't be a factor, I'm simply saying that automatically assuming it is doesn't help anybody.

Of course it's nicer to lead with what you want, not what you don't want, but people are generally only looking for their ideals, especially on dating sites; that's just how things are. (Being intrigued by someone outside the box you defined more or less consciously happens in meatspace, not online. Same goes for pity sex.) And better to know you don't have a chance from the get-go - and be steeled for rejection if you decide to give it a shot regardless.

I could give you detailed lists about how and why my own target ranges for tops, bottoms and versatiles as well as for pure sex and potential romance differ (regarding both anatomy and activity), but suffice it to say both psychological and morphological factors come into play. (Similar applies to what kind of sex and/or romance I like to watch and/or read.)

As for the general populace on the sites I frequent(ed) at least somewhat frequently:

On the understandable side of things, I've seen for instance many who only want younger and/or fit and some who only want older and/or fat.

On the silly side, I've seen many bisexuals who only want other bisexuals (usually fearing homosexuals would all but automatically fall in love with them, which apparently other bisexuals would be incapable of) and some homosexuals who only want other homosexuals (usually fearing bisexuals would be more likely than homosexuals to run off with somebody else).

On a side somewhere in the middle of the two above, I've seen many who are exclusively into fetish gear/play and some only looking for a certain exotic ethnicity or two.

And on the "makes my head hurt" side, I've seen several supposedly "straight" guys who're only into crossdressers (and trans people) as well as older men (almost always in less than stellar shape, to boot) looking exclusively (!) for young guys while whining in their ads about how those ageist kids don't give them a chance.

I find having overly narrow preferences to be ridiculous, but whatcha gonna do? Everyone draws their lines somewhere. Getting offended by any of that is, well, even more bonkers.

And it's not like heterosexuals are any "better" or "worse" regarding all this.

[Silvermoth]

Traits like being too tall or whatever are different to race though. Especially historically. I don't think we should be too rough on shorter people or larger bodied people but I think there's an extra degree of meanness when it comes to race.

Also, let's not just do what the straight people do. Let's just always be better no matter what.

I think the golden rule with online dating is saying what you're into (looking for fun geeks) rather than what you're not (no Asians etc).

Personally I don't think anyone should fetishise or ostracise races from dating. The world is so diverse and every race has beautiful people and maybe not so beautiful people. Plus if we base our dating profiles around race we will make people in our own community feel isolated and then we become the new oppressors.

By the way, I had the best date ever last night. It was so much fun. We went to a Japanese bar and sometimes it can take me a while to warm up to people but he was really easy to talk to and we talked for ages. Then we went and watched anime and after that got maccas (everything else was shut). He's really cute too. I hope it works out.

The weird part is though when we left we shook hands. Is this usual or did I get friend zoned? It's ok if I did, I just need to know what to expect. He seems really nice. Do most people shake hands at the end of dates?

FYI ignore this, we've been texting all day and it's all good