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  1. #8041
    Astonishing Member babyblob's Avatar
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    Thank you Cellar Dweller and Enigma for your thoughts.

    I guess my concern about trying to have a relationship with my friend is that I have not been attracted to a woman for so long I am worried that maybe I am not really attracted to her and I am just drawn to her because we have many things in common and get along so well. Once we start a relationship I am worried about ruining things because of this. I would hate to lose a friend. Just a bit confused because my attraction to her came out of left field.
    Favorite teams. Alpha Flight, Avengers, Fantastic Four, West Coast Avengers, Justice Society of America, Legion of Superheroes.

  2. #8042
    Mighty Member CellarDweller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Enigma View Post
    Is your name a nod to Celldweller? (L)
    Hello Enigma.

    No, my name isn't a nod to Celldweller.

    There is a thread here (somewhere) that asked members to explain their screen name here. This is what I wrote.

    I came up with the name when I was living at home with my parents and brothers. My bedroom was in the attic, however, it was on the small side. Because of that, my CDs, DVDs, TV, radio and computer were all in the cellar. It worked well specifically in the summer months, when the attic was blazing hot.

    End result, I spent a lot of time in the cellar, so I became CellarDweller.

  3. #8043
    CBR's Good Fairy Kieran_Frost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyblob View Post
    So I dont know if this is just to talk about gay people in the media or if we can talk personal issues as well. if this is in the wrong place I am sorry.

    I have stated many times on here that I am gay. When I was a teen and young man I dated women, but I found myself more attracted to men and came out when I was 25. S I have only been in a relationship with men since then and I have not really been attracted to women other then the oh she is pretty type thing even before then.
    There is this woman. i talked about her last year. I met her in my mental health support group. She goes through a lot of the same things I do, including leaving the house. When we went to a movie,(Pre Covid) we had her mom and my friend come with us so we were both at ease with someone we knew. she and I text every day and talk on the phone several nights a week for hours. we really connect. And I find myself attracted to her in a romantic way.

    but I am struggling with this. i know it is normal to struggle with being gay, but is it normal to struggle about not being gay when for 14 years that is how I lived my life. I am getting some push back from two of my gay friends who are bashing me for not being a real gay man.

    has anyone else struggled with this type of thing in terms of their sexual identity? I have never gotten hardcore into what my friends call being the proper gay man. I never really went to rallies and I only marched in one gay pride parade and that was after some arm twisting. Dont really have a gay circle of friends. There are the two I just talked about but we are in no way close at all. I am wondering if I was ever really gay. Maybe i am bi? I am more attracted to men and have been uncomfortable in a relationship with women. So maybe I am only attracted to my friend because we share some of the same mental health experiences and hobbies?

    She and I have talked about a relationship I just dont want to ruin anything.

    Sorry if this post is all over the place. Just not sure what to think right now.
    Okay, first and foremost who you love and are attracted to is NO ONE'S BUSINESS! Not your uncle's, not your gay friends, not your local MPs... it's about your happiness and that takes priority. You do you, and to hell with everyone else! Secondly I think the issue of 'labeling' is counter productive to this current journey, what matters is you do not turn away potential happiness based on societal ideas of what box sexuality is defined as; because I'd be so sad for you to not explore this out of fear (or pride) in how it makes previous thoughts and statements by you look. Ignore that, explore it. You have nothing to loose.

    Potentially it's good to look at the Kinsey Scale on this; Kinsey believed sexuality (rudimentary) worked on a 1 - 6 scale. 1 being exclusively heterosexual, 6 being exclusively homosexual; and everything else falls in the middle. It's a rough guide, and has it's faults. But consider 2/3rd of his scale is about 'grey areas'. From what you've said you seem to fall into the 5 (mostly homosexual, but also finding heterosexual attractions in very specific cases). It's a rough scale and shouldn't be taken as scripture, but in this specific instance I think it could help to understand that sexuality can often be a grey area. And not defined one way or another.

    Please don't ignore how you feel, because of society and pressure from others. Pursue your happiness. We get one life. LIVE IT!!! Live it to the full. Hope that helped.
    "We are Shakespeare. We are Michelangelo. We are Tchaikovsky. We are Turing. We are Mercury. We are Wilde. We are Lincoln, Lorca, Leonardo da Vinci. We are Alexander the Great. We are Fredrick the Great. We are Rustin. We are Addams. We are Marsha! Marsha Marsha Marsha! We so generous, we DeGeneres. We are Ziggy Stardust hooked to the silver screen. Controversially we are Malcolm X. We are Plato. We are Aristotle. We are RuPaul, god dammit! And yes, we are Woolf."

  4. #8044
    Astonishing Member babyblob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kieran_Frost View Post
    Okay, first and foremost who you love and are attracted to is NO ONE'S BUSINESS! Not your uncle's, not your gay friends, not your local MPs... it's about your happiness and that takes priority. You do you, and to hell with everyone else! Secondly I think the issue of 'labeling' is counter productive to this current journey, what matters is you do not turn away potential happiness based on societal ideas of what box sexuality is defined as; because I'd be so sad for you to not explore this out of fear (or pride) in how it makes previous thoughts and statements by you look. Ignore that, explore it. You have nothing to loose.

    Potentially it's good to look at the Kinsey Scale on this; Kinsey believed sexuality (rudimentary) worked on a 1 - 6 scale. 1 being exclusively heterosexual, 6 being exclusively homosexual; and everything else falls in the middle. It's a rough guide, and has it's faults. But consider 2/3rd of his scale is about 'grey areas'. From what you've said you seem to fall into the 5 (mostly homosexual, but also finding heterosexual attractions in very specific cases). It's a rough scale and shouldn't be taken as scripture, but in this specific instance I think it could help to understand that sexuality can often be a grey area. And not defined one way or another.

    Please don't ignore how you feel, because of society and pressure from others. Pursue your happiness. We get one life. LIVE IT!!! Live it to the full. Hope that helped.
    Thank you. She is going to come over and I am going to cook a nice dinner and we are going to watch a movie and read comics since we both hate being in public. We decided that some stay at home activities will be the best for the two of us. My biggest fear wasnt how it would make me look since coming out as gay (Though I did think on this for a minute I will admit.), but more in the line that she is the first woman I have really felt an attraction to in many many years. I didnt want to mess up a great friendship when I myself was not sure at how I feel about where I stand.

    Your comments and the comments of Cellar Dweller and Enigma have been very helpful. Thank you all for talking this out with me
    Last edited by babyblob; 03-03-2021 at 04:41 PM.
    Favorite teams. Alpha Flight, Avengers, Fantastic Four, West Coast Avengers, Justice Society of America, Legion of Superheroes.

  5. #8045
    CBR's Good Fairy Kieran_Frost's Avatar
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    It's not really LGBT+ related, BUT I saw this fact posted by a former boyfriend, so it counts... ANYWAY...

    "Your choice to give up the last twelve or so months of your regular life, being careful and socially distancing...
    could very well be the reason somebody else is alive today
    - and it will ALWAYS have been worth it."


    Isn't that an amazing thought. What a beautiful truth. Take pride in that, this is so important to hear and such a wonderful message I think everyone should embrace and feel overjoyed by. You might have very well saved a life in 2020. That's incredible! YOU are all incredible, and I salute you.
    #loveislove
    "We are Shakespeare. We are Michelangelo. We are Tchaikovsky. We are Turing. We are Mercury. We are Wilde. We are Lincoln, Lorca, Leonardo da Vinci. We are Alexander the Great. We are Fredrick the Great. We are Rustin. We are Addams. We are Marsha! Marsha Marsha Marsha! We so generous, we DeGeneres. We are Ziggy Stardust hooked to the silver screen. Controversially we are Malcolm X. We are Plato. We are Aristotle. We are RuPaul, god dammit! And yes, we are Woolf."

  6. #8046
    Fantastic Member CaptainEurope's Avatar
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    I'm a big fan of Nailed it! on Netflix and it was fun seeing two drag queens on the new season.

    Now I want to see drag queens on more reality shows, including Ultimate Beastmaster.

  7. #8047
    Astonishing Member Silvermoth's Avatar
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    Oh I love Nailed it! It’s so funny and Nicole byer is hilarious. I think it has a nice message too, if you mess up in life just laugh and move on

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