The LGBTQIA-community

[JackDaw]

When I first saw the headlines on the BBC when it happened, my dyslexic mind read it as "Elaine Paige comes out as trans" and my reaction was: REALLY? I would never have guessed, good for him at his age!" HA!


Just horrible, my hearts go out to all the kids denied wonderful parents by this. UGH, so many EU countries really have such terrible LGBT+ rights. I still don't understand anyone saying the UK needed the EU for LGBT+ rights???

EU has got a wonderful PR machine...the focus is always on the handful of rich prosperous, comparatively tolerant members. Less successful, less tolerant members are conveniently overlooked.

UK coming out may have been a mistake (because of potential economic consequences), but I will be really surprised if UK falls behind EU bloc on issues of basic human rights.

[Kieran_Frost]

EU has got a wonderful PR machine...the focus is always on the handful of rich prosperous, comparatively tolerant members. Less successful, less tolerant members are conveniently overlooked.

And even the "tolerant" members have some huge skeletons. Germany only JUST passed gay marriage. Italy still hasn't. France you had to be sterilized to transition. It's a brilliant PR machine, because it's all so... not okay! Their reaction (or lack there of) over police officers ASSAULTING old women in Spain for VOTING! They have no moral high ground to stand on.

UK coming out may have been a mistake (because of potential economic consequences), but I will be really surprised if UK falls behind EU bloc on issues of basic human rights.

Agree on both counts. UK human rights (and gay rights) is still gonna be awesome and way ahead of most of the world.

[Kieran_Frost]

Happy Valentine's Day, lovelies xx

[CaptainEurope]

never mind

[Kieran_Frost]

artbycheyne
https://www.instagram.com/artbycheyne/

I know the season's been pretty rubbish, but the fanart by Cheyne Gallarde is still stunning. Enjoy Ep#4 - Ep#6 of Drag Race season 13; giving us all the comic book geeks outs. I recognise two of the poses on the covers, but can't quite place them. The car one I remember is iconic, but from where???

EPISODE #4


EPISODE #5


EPISODE #6

[titanfan]

Just a reminder/plug, "It's a Sin" on HBO Max has dropped. I'm only halfway in and I think it might be the best lgbt mini-series/movie I've ever seen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnR5DxP2e2g

[Silvermoth]

Just about to finish the last episode. It’s an amazing series. Russell t Davies at his best. And who knew Olly Alexander was such a good actor!

[Silvermoth]

Ok finished the last episode and it was an absolute triumph. Definitely don’t miss out. Keely hawes was incredible

[Kieran_Frost]

Okay, I've never, ever made a meme before... but I finally made one. And I'm super proud of it, and I have no-where to show it off... so enjoy. HA!

[babyblob]

So I dont know if this is just to talk about gay people in the media or if we can talk personal issues as well. if this is in the wrong place I am sorry.

I have stated many times on here that I am gay. When I was a teen and young man I dated women, but I found myself more attracted to men and came out when I was 25. S I have only been in a relationship with men since then and I have not really been attracted to women other then the oh she is pretty type thing even before then.
There is this woman. i talked about her last year. I met her in my mental health support group. She goes through a lot of the same things I do, including leaving the house. When we went to a movie,(Pre Covid) we had her mom and my friend come with us so we were both at ease with someone we knew. she and I text every day and talk on the phone several nights a week for hours. we really connect. And I find myself attracted to her in a romantic way.

but I am struggling with this. i know it is normal to struggle with being gay, but is it normal to struggle about not being gay when for 14 years that is how I lived my life. I am getting some push back from two of my gay friends who are bashing me for not being a real gay man.

has anyone else struggled with this type of thing in terms of their sexual identity? I have never gotten hardcore into what my friends call being the proper gay man. I never really went to rallies and I only marched in one gay pride parade and that was after some arm twisting. Dont really have a gay circle of friends. There are the two I just talked about but we are in no way close at all. I am wondering if I was ever really gay. Maybe i am bi? I am more attracted to men and have been uncomfortable in a relationship with women. So maybe I am only attracted to my friend because we share some of the same mental health experiences and hobbies?

She and I have talked about a relationship I just dont want to ruin anything.

Sorry if this post is all over the place. Just not sure what to think right now.

[Adam Allen]

My take, and it is by no means universal or even necessarily widespread, but I think one's orientation can change over time. I think we tend to think of orientation as this static quality -- "I was always X" -- but really, lots of who we are can change over the course of our lives, and we can be different in significant ways from who we were at 16 versus 36 or 56, so there is no reason sexuality should be automatically exempt from that.

Besides that, while I think that labels are an important facet of identity, I also think they are more a matter of utility than being themselves defining. This is to say, there may be real reason to say that I am an (for instance) American or Christian, but it becomes less helpful if identifying as either limits me in some substantial way, rather than helping me. That's not to say that it would be right to discard either identity the instant it becomes inconvenient, but I guess more that I should consider myself as defining what an American or Christian is, rather than as the reverse.

As that applies to being gay or bi ... thing is, you could still be 99% gay and still feel a real romantic connection with your friend. That might mean you would want to consider yourself as bi, or that you would consider yourself as a gay man who found the one very rare woman you could find yourself attracted to, even though you are otherwise attracted to men. I would think the most crucial consideration would be how compatible the two of you are. Like, in a similar fashion, if there was a single guy who had considered himself as straight up until he found himself feeling a substantial connection with another man, I would say the important thing to consider would be whether the two thought they could really work as a couple, more than whether the straight guy should necessarily need to change his label.

Dunno if any of that is helpful at all, but my two cents.

[babyblob]

My take, and it is by no means universal or even necessarily widespread, but I think one's orientation can change over time. I think we tend to think of orientation as this static quality -- "I was always X" -- but really, lots of who we are can change over the course of our lives, and we can be different in significant ways from who we were at 16 versus 36 or 56, so there is no reason sexuality should be automatically exempt from that.

Besides that, while I think that labels are an important facet of identity, I also think they are more a matter of utility than being themselves defining. This is to say, there may be real reason to say that I am an (for instance) American or Christian, but it becomes less helpful if identifying as either limits me in some substantial way, rather than helping me. That's not to say that it would be right to discard either identity the instant it becomes inconvenient, but I guess more that I should consider myself as defining what an American or Christian is, rather than as the reverse.

As that applies to being gay or bi ... thing is, you could still be 99% gay and still feel a real romantic connection with your friend. That might mean you would want to consider yourself as bi, or that you would consider yourself as a gay man who found the one very rare woman you could find yourself attracted to, even though you are otherwise attracted to men. I would think the most crucial consideration would be how compatible the two of you are. Like, in a similar fashion, if there was a single guy who had considered himself as straight up until he found himself feeling a substantial connection with another man, I would say the important thing to consider would be whether the two thought they could really work as a couple, more than whether the straight guy should necessarily need to change his label.

Dunno if any of that is helpful at all, but my two cents.

That does help Yes. And I thank you for your input. I guess it is just kind of hard right now because when I came out I got a lot of hate from family (Not mom or dad) And now that I am attracted to my friend I am getting hate from a couple gay people I talk to. Also getting the whole being gay was clearly a fad thing from my uncle.

But I do thank you for your thoughts and will think about what you have said. I have a lot to think about right now and any input is helpful

[Adam Allen]

That does help Yes. And I thank you for your input. I guess it is just kind of hard right now because when I came out I got a lot of hate from family (Not mom or dad) And now that I am attracted to my friend I am getting hate from a couple gay people I talk to. Also getting the whole being gay was clearly a fad thing from my uncle.

But I do thank you for your thoughts and will think about what you have said. I have a lot to think about right now and any input is helpful

It is pretty unfortunate that everyone cannot just live and let live, when it comes to love. I guess I do think though, the last thing we should do would be to let the hate of some stop us from experiencing love with someone else, right? Their hate is their own ****, as much as they want to try to make it yours. Likewise with your uncle's ignorance.

We all have more time to think lately, don't we? I suppose it may be owed to this fact, that I have only recently come to think that I seem to be asexual, myself. It is a weird thing to realize, for someone who is middle aged. It is somewhat helpful that I've learned, I am somehow far from the first person to get well into their life before reaching a similar conclusion. And in a spirit of solidarity with you -- you might be surprised, but the couple of people I have attempted to come out to as "ace" -- yeah, kind of got some hate for it. Anger and dismissiveness, at least. It was weird. But, like I say -- that's their stuff. All we can do is live and love, the best we can!

[CellarDweller]

So I dont know if this is just to talk about gay people in the media or if we can talk personal issues as well. if this is in the wrong place I am sorry.

I have stated many times on here that I am gay. When I was a teen and young man I dated women, but I found myself more attracted to men and came out when I was 25. S I have only been in a relationship with men since then and I have not really been attracted to women other then the oh she is pretty type thing even before then.
There is this woman. i talked about her last year. I met her in my mental health support group. She goes through a lot of the same things I do, including leaving the house. When we went to a movie,(Pre Covid) we had her mom and my friend come with us so we were both at ease with someone we knew. she and I text every day and talk on the phone several nights a week for hours. we really connect. And I find myself attracted to her in a romantic way.

but I am struggling with this. i know it is normal to struggle with being gay, but is it normal to struggle about not being gay when for 14 years that is how I lived my life. I am getting some push back from two of my gay friends who are bashing me for not being a real gay man.

has anyone else struggled with this type of thing in terms of their sexual identity? I have never gotten hardcore into what my friends call being the proper gay man. I never really went to rallies and I only marched in one gay pride parade and that was after some arm twisting. Dont really have a gay circle of friends. There are the two I just talked about but we are in no way close at all. I am wondering if I was ever really gay. Maybe i am bi? I am more attracted to men and have been uncomfortable in a relationship with women. So maybe I am only attracted to my friend because we share some of the same mental health experiences and hobbies?

She and I have talked about a relationship I just dont want to ruin anything.

Sorry if this post is all over the place. Just not sure what to think right now.

As a gay man, I'm upset at the fact that two of your gay friends are accusing you of not being a 'real' gay man. Given that they've had their own struggles to go through, they should know better than to treat you that way.

As for your feelings, there is a whole sexual spectrum out there. Maybe you're bi, maybe you're pan, in the end, does it matter? If you are both open to starting to see each other, then go for it.

[Enigma]

As a gay man, I'm upset at the fact that two of your gay friends are accusing you of not being a 'real' gay man. Given that they've had their own struggles to go through, they should know better than to treat you that way.

As for your feelings, there is a whole sexual spectrum out there. Maybe you're bi, maybe you're pan, in the end, does it matter? If you are both open to starting to see each other, then go for it.

Is your name a nod to Celldweller? (L)


@babyblob
Personally, I don't see why people feel the need to police other people's love. If you like this lady, you go for it, and if your two gay friends think that is wrong, then they don't sound like very good friends.