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  1. #7666
    Astonishing Member BroHomo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Star_Jammer View Post
    Ugh...I'm in need of "relationship advice". Maybe this isn't the best place for it, but I'm just trying to collect a bunch of viewpoints (personal and impersonal).

    My mother passed away recently, and owned a home about 3 hours from where I currently live. The house now belongs to my sister, brother, and myself. I am heavily thinking (read: it's pretty much a "go") of buying them out of their share. It's a really good chance for me to own my own home! It's nothing fancy, and it's kind of small, but it'd be perfect for myself and maybe a roommate. And with the type of loan I've inquired about, I'll actually be able to pay my car off and save a bit of money each month (the car was pricey, it was a splurge...I don't regret it!).

    The problem is...I have a "boyfriend". And I put it in quotes because it's a rather weird situation. We haven't been...intimate...in a really long time (6 years? I lost count). We don't kiss, we don't really hug, we've never celebrated any sort of relationship milestone (anniversaries) or holidays (Valentine's)...and while some of these aren't necessary for a relationship to be good, they kind of high-light the fact that our relationship has always been awkward. He's always been kind of closed off and didn't want to share things about himself, and I think I've always resented that. We ended up moving in together, and for a while it's been a convenience for both of us; we split the bills, and going or separate ways would be more difficult financially for both of us.

    So...we're basically roommates, with some perks of a relationship...or is that a relationship with a lot of drawbacks? Either way, I concluded some time ago that I would leave him if given the opportunity. I know I've been a shitty person for keeping this up (he's definitely more emotionally invested at this point than I am; I care for him, but I don't love him like that any more), but us "staying together" also probably benefits him more than myself (I make more money, and pay more of the bills)...and I just don't know how to initiate this conversation.

    My sister and I have talked about moving to this area (or nearby) for a few years now, and I actually brought it up to my "boyfriend" about me possibly moving, to which his basic response was that he wouldn't move with me (which was sort of a relief at the time). I've mentioned several times that I'd love to move to the aforementioned area (was actually born/raised there), as it's something I've wanted since before I even ever met him (home is where the heart is).

    Buying the house isn't anywhere close to finalized yet (still have to be approved for the loan, etc.), and I still have to figure out a job transfer (which is generally easy to do, but still has to be done and find a place to transfer to).

    Do I wait to till him till everything about me moving is in motion? Do I risk telling him now, and either a) the move goes through, but the living situation we have is super awkward till I move or b) the move can't go through (no job transfer or loan denied), and we're put in an awkward situation on top of our "necessity" to continue living together?

    Again, I know I've played a shitty part in this and at this point I can't change much (if any) of that, so I don't mind any comments in that regard, but I would also like to get some advice as well.
    Just say "No More Roommate With Benefits" see if he disappears
    But FrFr...
    seems like he's manipulating you and taking bold advantage of you Dude. I'm sure he realizes that despite the financial benefits he's getting...it's not fair emotionally sexually etc for either of you....
    EDIT:
    errr this poster has some good advice...
    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Allen View Post
    Nah, just tell him now ... because, seems like you want out of the situation, regardless of if the loan is approved and the job transfer goes through. Let things be super awkward, because they're apparently awkward, anyway. Even if your immediate plans go through, I wouldn't think that a reason to just stay in a situation you're already hoping to find a way out of. In other words, don't wait for an opportunity to leave, if you want to leave. Just leave. Life's too short to waste being unhappy due to convenience.

  2. #7667
    Fantastic Member Tugger's Avatar
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    I was appalled to hear this news. Britain may be broken but at least we are accepting of LGBT+

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-47769964

  3. #7668
    All-New Member Rawhide Kid's Avatar
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    If you are not already, you have to watch the Doom Patrol show.
    The 8th episode is about Danny the street, a gender queer non-binary sentient street running from the Department of Normalcy.
    You will also have an heart-breaking karaoke moment.
    And 90's RomCom clichés.

  4. #7669
    Astonishing Member Silvermoth's Avatar
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    Ha, that sounds pretty good. I just finished watching the umbrella academy, loved Klaus so much

  5. #7670
    Astonishing Member Silvermoth's Avatar
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    Is anyone else watching Special? It’s a really cute new series about a gay man and how he dates and lives with a disability. It’s so sweet. I’ve been wondering when we will see the next queer as folk and I feel like this might be it

  6. #7671
    Astonishing Member MasterOfMagnetism's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silvermoth View Post
    Is anyone else watching Special? It’s a really cute new series about a gay man and how he dates and lives with a disability. It’s so sweet. I’ve been wondering when we will see the next queer as folk and I feel like this might be it
    I really enjoyed Special and I usually don't care for sentimental rom-com style stories like that, looking forward to season 2. Apparently there's also going to be a revival of Tales Of The City coming to Netflix as well. I'm not super interested in it but it does have Murray Bartlett in it, so I might check it out just for him.

  7. #7672
    Incredible Member zinderel's Avatar
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    Magic the Gathering's new novel War of the Spark (by Greg Weisman, of TV's GARGOYLES and YOUNG JUSTICE fame) confirms a long held theory about a popular Planeswalker. Ral Zarek, Viceroy of the Izzet League (a collection of mad scientists, gleefully impulsive 'researchers' and attention-span-deficient inventors working together under the aegis and leadership of a brilliant dragon) is gay, and his partner, Tomik, is in the Orzhov Syndicate (basically if the Mafia took over the Catholic Church).

    Same sex romance in a card game!? A relationship that crosses strict guild lines?! The world MUST be ending!
    Last edited by zinderel; 04-28-2019 at 04:04 AM.
    There is no such thing as an ethical Republican anymore. Period.

  8. #7673
    Astonishing Member Silvermoth's Avatar
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    That sounds really cool! I wasn’t aware of that. I might have to check it out!

  9. #7674
    Mighty Member Enigma's Avatar
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    I've dabbled in MtG, but I read one novel and really enjoyed it, even if I had had no background at all. I'm quite tempted to try and pick more up - worth it?

    Also, on Thursday, I will be explaining to one of my lab groups about my future transition. Pretty damned nervous! My lab manager already knows and she said that everybody thinks I'm gay anyway and they still invite me for coffee, so I'm at least halfway sure that it will be fine :P

  10. #7675
    Astonishing Member Silvermoth's Avatar
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    Best of luck Enigma! Please feel free to come back and tell us how you went. I’ll be hoping for the best for you

  11. #7676
    Incredible Member zinderel's Avatar
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    Most of the MtG novels have been...sub par. They stopped publishing them because they were so poorly received. But since the current set is the end of a several-year-storyline, and they got Greg Weisman to write, I'm looking forward to reading the book!

    The two characters each have cards representing them (Ral Zarek, being a Planeswalker, has a few cards he appears in), and in them, Ral can be seen wearing a strip of white cloth from his partner's robes around one wrist, and Tomik wears strips of red and blue - Ral's colors - around his wrists in his card art.

    What's even better is, this isnt the first gay couple in MtG canon. In one of the Commander supplements, one of the decks was led by Tiro and Kyanios of Meletis, a pair of warrior kings from the Theros setting (Greco-Roman aesthetic, with togas and such). They were legendary warriors who chose to put aside constant warfare and build a kingdom together. A kingdom that lasted until the current setting, and is a paragon of culture, art, martial excellence and trade akin to Athens of old. Not only that, but they were an interracial couple, and the art shows them standing together. If you look close enough, one has his fingers playing with the short hairs on the back of the other's neck, affectionately.

    Meletis.EDHREC.jpg

    It's pretty great to see that, even though they are not the focus of the story, Wizards is sticking to their commitment to present a diverse world with someone for everyone to feel a connection to.
    Last edited by zinderel; 04-29-2019 at 09:10 AM.
    There is no such thing as an ethical Republican anymore. Period.

  12. #7677
    Mighty Member Enigma's Avatar
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    So, I came out to both of my lab groups last Thursday, and it went absolutely fine. I've barely been in the lab since then though due to working from home and then being ill all of this week, so not enough interaction to gauge the response. It seems to be business as usual though, which is basically perfect. It's essentially public knowledge now, so I don't have to worry about people finding out, which is one less thing to stress about. It's still such a long damned time before I can transition, but hey ho, one step at a time I guess. I just need to keep myself in one piece until then

  13. #7678
    Astonishing Member Silvermoth's Avatar
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    That’s great to hear Enigma, I’m so glad it went well. I found when I came out people sort of suspected already and life just continued for them. Best of luck with the next step when you’re ready

  14. #7679
    Incredible Member CellarDweller's Avatar
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    Congrats on your coming out, Enigma!

  15. #7680
    Mighty Member Enigma's Avatar
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    Thanks It would seem that people didn't expect that I was trans beforehand, but somebody did mention that looking back, a few things make sense. Including, to my absolute horror, that apparently I'm awful at make-up removal

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