The LGBTQIA-community

[t hedge coke]

I have a question for those interested: What is it like dating?
Dumb question, I know, but I'm curious as to what dating is like within the community.
Plus I figure since my chances of getting a date is low, I may as well find out what's like for others. (Gosh that sounds pathetic.)

Aw. Get out there and date! Dating scenes are different town to town, country to country, economic level/field of interest to the next. But I'm a goofy-looking schmuck and I do alright, so I'd imagine if you throw yourself out there, honestly, and earnestly, you'll come out okeh. Depends, primarily on what you're looking for, what you're expecting, and who you're pursuing (or hoping to be pursued by). Cruising in West Hollywood is different than dating-towards-marriage in Duluth. Bar scenes are different than hooking up with coworkers.

Good luck!

Tangent Man, if Kory is an anarchist, why make her a pacifist too? That just seems like a contradiction. If it's violence to protect yourself and your friends, that's different than using state-sponsored violence to conquer worlds and dominate.

That still doesn't make it a contradiction to be pacifist. The whole point of being anarchist doesn't have to be "just so's it's not the government doing it."

[Charmed]

Aw. Get out there and date! Dating scenes are different town to town, country to country, economic level/field of interest to the next. But I'm a goofy-looking schmuck and I do alright, so I'd imagine if you throw yourself out there, honestly, and earnestly, you'll come out okeh. Depends, primarily on what you're looking for, what you're expecting, and who you're pursuing (or hoping to be pursued by). Cruising in West Hollywood is different than dating-towards-marriage in Duluth. Bar scenes are different than hooking up with coworkers.

Good luck!

Too young for bars (only 19), but I am trying to get out there, the hard part being that I'm mostly stuck at home (due to not having access to a personal vehicle, though, now that I got my license, that will possibly change soon.) Although I am a bit goofy looking as well, I also look waaaaayyyy younger (at least 12) than I am, plus I'm short and thin (like dangerously thin) , so most people presume I'm a lost starving child when they see me alone. But hey, maybe I can win them over with my 'winning personality' lol

Thanks for the good luck

[Jay Kay]

New comic book discussion: re-imagine your favorite team line-up as a contemporary, queer-inclusive roster!

Mine? The classic New Teen Titans!

You kinda took the team that first came to mind. :P It's funny thinking about it--on one hand, part of me knows that it shouldn't really break lessen the classic stuff, but in trying to figure it out, I can't help but think, "but wait, would that mean that those two can't hook up?"

Anyway, I don't know if this counts, but when it started, I had a strange feeling/hope that Red Hood & The Outlaws was going to settle any love triangles (with Roy being interesting in Starfire and Jason apparently being with her) by making a polyamous relationship.

First time posting here. I'm questioning, though leaning towards bisexual.



Tangent Man, if Kory is an anarchist, why make her a pacifist too? That just seems like a contradiction. If it's violence to protect yourself and your friends, that's different than using state-sponsored violence to conquer worlds and dominate.

That's kind-of where I am too. Never really posted here before, because I never really saw the community part of the forum before.

Honestly, there are times where I have my doubts. There are days where I'm more exclusively into girls, or just looking at guys, and days where my neck is practically breaking from swiveling around. Also, the one time I did kiss a guy was an unmitigated disaster.

As for the anarchist/pacifist definition: the real definition of anarchy is the "absence of government and absolute freedom of the individual, regarded as a political ideal."

[Tangent Man]

Crazy Diamond: I personally don't see a contradiction. Many anarchists don't necessarily want or even use violence. My flash-concept of Kory worked along the lines of what Jay Kay suggested.

Jay Kay: Nah, Kory & Dick could still happen, it just wouldn't be...traditional...

Welcome to the thread, y'all!

Charmed: Give it a go! Maybe you could meet guys through a local college LGBT club?

[Spike-X]

Too young for bars (only 19), but I am trying to get out there, the hard part being that I'm mostly stuck at home (due to not having access to a personal vehicle, though, now that I got my license, that will possibly change soon.) Although I am a bit goofy looking as well, I also look waaaaayyyy younger (at least 12) than I am, plus I'm short and thin (like dangerously thin) , so most people presume I'm a lost starving child when they see me alone. But hey, maybe I can win them over with my 'winning personality' lol

Or at least get them to buy you dinner!

[Jay Kay]

Jay Kay: Nah, Kory & Dick could still happen, it just wouldn't be...traditional...

Welcome to the thread, y'all!

Dick and Kory definitely could (sort of makes me wonder who would be the other(s?) in that relationship...

I was thinking more of groups I was brainstorming about. But let me try one:

The Fantastic Four:

Johnny Storm seems the most prime to be more bisexual--I could totally see him being a Jack Harkness type, who just flirts with everyone. Plus, a good half his fans ship him with Spider-Man already, so it probably wouldn't be that controversial.

Ben Grimm, perhaps could work as a gay man, though maybe his isolation and feeling like a freak would be too on-the-nose?

Reed I could see being asexual, but he would still truly love and cherish Sue. They could still have kids because he knows that she wants to have a family.

And Sue I guess could be the token straight person, or you could make her have a mild interest in women as well, if you want.

And thanks.

[pro]

Although I am a bit goofy looking as well, I also look waaaaayyyy younger (at least 12) than I am, plus I'm short and thin (like dangerously thin) , so most people presume I'm a lost starving child when they see me alone.

No worries! I'm sure there's someone out there looking for a lost starving .. 12 year old .. to .. hook .. let me rephrase that.

you're only 19, don't sweat it. The idea is to end up with someone you like, not how old you'll be if it happens.

[Greg]

...You know... I never actually ever... dated. Maybe a VERY small handful of times. I want to say try it out and see what works for you and give advice and stuff, but a majority of my experience with both sexes have been talking for a while then that develops or hooking up and seeing where that goes after. My bf and I were talking on the phone/online for maybe a week or two before we met face-to-face and pretty much decided to be official after our second date (which was maybe like... 2 days after our first one). We rushed into it but it's been over and year and a half now. Before him at the point, I wasn't dating, I was just hooking up with people.

But that said, dating should be what allows you to see what is out there and what works and doesn't work for you as a person. Because you don't always "know" your type until you actually get out there. That goes for dating, having a sex life, talking, bar hopping, etc.

And yeah, at 19, you're fine. Just don't be a hermit.

[Charmed]

No worries! I'm sure there's someone out there looking for a lost starving .. 12 year old .. to .. hook .. let me rephrase that.

you're only 19, don't sweat it. The idea is to end up with someone you like, not how old you'll be if it happens.

I really hope so

Or at least get them to buy you dinner!

I'm a strong independent man who don't need no man to buy him dinner. Of course if he's buying I won't complain

...You know... I never actually ever... dated. Maybe a VERY small handful of times. I want to say try it out and see what works for you and give advice and stuff, but a majority of my experience with both sexes have been talking for a while then that develops or hooking up and seeing where that goes after. My bf and I were talking on the phone/online for maybe a week or two before we met face-to-face and pretty much decided to be official after our second date (which was maybe like... 2 days after our first one). We rushed into it but it's been over and year and a half now. Before him at the point, I wasn't dating, I was just hooking up with people.

But that said, dating should be what allows you to see what is out there and what works and doesn't work for you as a person. Because you don't always "know" your type until you actually get out there. That goes for dating, having a sex life, talking, bar hopping, etc.

And yeah, at 19, you're fine. Just don't be a hermit.

Being a hermit does sound interesting. I kid.

Thanks for the advice everyone

[bert]

there IS someone out there for EVERYONE.


and it doesn't happen very often in a club/bar anyways. . . go, join a club, or an online community with a local presence where folks have similar interests.

go to the local Barnes & Noble (or whatever book store is still around by you), and join a book club?

Go to the local coffee shop, and look to see what's posted (most local coffee shops, have a board that advertises groups to meet and socialize with).

and no, I'm not talking SPECIFICALLY gay groups. . just join a group that has something you are interested in, and you'll make friends. (and you would be shocked how often a friendship turns to something more, or a friend wants to set you up with someone).

just bottom line? get out there and socialize

[bert]

and to add.. I speak from experience when I say it doesn't often happen in Bars/clubs.

you know who I've met in Bars/Clubs?

Druggies, and drunks. . that never lasted more than just a few dates.

My ex and I met at a concert at Dragon*con (instant mutual likes -- we were both at a convention, and we were both at a Cruxshadow's concert).

it was long distance, but lasted 2 1/2 years.

my partner and I (going on 10 1/2 years)?. . we met ONLINE. . in a local chat room for "bears". . he likes em, I am one

He and I were literally the only ones with no nudes in our profiles. . and yet we started talking, and we knew RIGHT away on that first date that we were a match

[Crazy Diamond]

That still doesn't make it a contradiction to be pacifist. The whole point of being anarchist doesn't have to be "just so's it's not the government doing it."

How can one believe that violence is always wrong in a world built on violence? Violence shouldn't be glorified, but if you're an anarchist I don't see how you can end domination without violence.

That's kind-of where I am too. Never really posted here before, because I never really saw the community part of the forum before.

Honestly, there are times where I have my doubts. There are days where I'm more exclusively into girls, or just looking at guys, and days where my neck is practically breaking from swiveling around. Also, the one time I did kiss a guy was an unmitigated disaster.

As for the anarchist/pacifist definition: the real definition of anarchy is the "absence of government and absolute freedom of the individual, regarded as a political ideal."

Just lost my original post and now I'm glad. Here's a definition of anarchist from An Anarchist FAQ:

To quote Peter Kropotkin, Anarchism is "the no-government system of socialism." [Anarchism, p. 46] In other words, "the abolition of exploitation and oppression of man by man, that is the abolition of private property [i.e. capitalism] and government." [Errico Malatesta, Towards Anarchism,", p. 75]

Anarchism, therefore, is a political theory that aims to create a society which is without political, economic or social hierarchies. Anarchists maintain that anarchy, the absence of rulers, is a viable form of social system and so work for the maximisation of individual liberty and social equality. They see the goals of liberty and equality as mutually self-supporting.

http://www.infoshop.org/AnarchistFAQSectionA1#seca12

I don't necessarily subscribe to this one, but it provides more detail.

Anyone here a POC and LBGTQ/GSM?

[Charmed]

there IS someone out there for EVERYONE.


and it doesn't happen very often in a club/bar anyways. . . go, join a club, or an online community with a local presence where folks have similar interests.

go to the local Barnes & Noble (or whatever book store is still around by you), and join a book club?

Go to the local coffee shop, and look to see what's posted (most local coffee shops, have a board that advertises groups to meet and socialize with).

and no, I'm not talking SPECIFICALLY gay groups. . just join a group that has something you are interested in, and you'll make friends. (and you would be shocked how often a friendship turns to something more, or a friend wants to set you up with someone).

just bottom line? get out there and socialize

and to add.. I speak from experience when I say it doesn't often happen in Bars/clubs.

you know who I've met in Bars/Clubs?

Druggies, and drunks. . that never lasted more than just a few dates.

My ex and I met at a concert at Dragon*con (instant mutual likes -- we were both at a convention, and we were both at a Cruxshadow's concert).

it was long distance, but lasted 2 1/2 years.

my partner and I (going on 10 1/2 years)?. . we met ONLINE. . in a local chat room for "bears". . he likes em, I am one

He and I were literally the only ones with no nudes in our profiles. . and yet we started talking, and we knew RIGHT away on that first date that we were a match

You give some good advice, bert.
It sucks because there used to be a Borders near my house, but it closed (I think the entire company went under, but I might be wrong on that.)
This is why I'm so anxious to get my own car, or chat my mom up into borrowing hers, so I can get out there and meet people. Being stuck at home used to be fun, but now? Bleh. (First World Problems )
Congrats to you and your partner for the 10 1/2 years

[Greg]

How can one believe that violence is always wrong in a world built on violence? Violence shouldn't be glorified, but if you're an anarchist I don't see how you can end domination without violence.



Just lost my original post and now I'm glad. Here's a definition of anarchist from An Anarchist FAQ:

http://www.infoshop.org/AnarchistFAQSectionA1#seca12

I don't necessarily subscribe to this one, but it provides more detail.

Anyone here a POC and LBGTQ/GSM?

What's GSM?

I'm POC and B.

[t hedge coke]

I'm a PoC (still the lightest in my family, but we don't truck with passing), ethnic minority in my home country and country of residence, bi, and mildly intersex. Which, just means I'm all over the place.

What's GSM?

Gender/Sexual Minority.