The LGBTQIA-community

[Kieran_Frost]

They're not breeders.

Which is just how inane that term is.

Why pick Catholic priests? Seems a pretty specific thing to go for, at random...

[t hedge coke]

Why pick Catholic priests? Seems a pretty specific thing to go for, at random...

I needed a subset of men who aren't explicitly "gay men," who don't "breed."

I went to St Catherine's Indian School. I don't even know, for sure, which other branches of Christianity forbid their clergy from sexual relations or marriage, and most other religions don't anymore. Catholic priests were the safe bet, because I know they're not supposed to. And, there, too, there is something built up about how this helps them focus or makes them special. There's definitely a caste thing.

I kinda assume they don't call loads of other people "breeders" as much, though.

If it muddled my message or seemed to imply something else, whatever that may be, I'm sorry for that. I either should have fleshed it out more or left it off entirely. It started with the idea that "breeder" as a term for non-homosexuals is simply absurd in a world were we have straight people who don't have children, but also we have many homosexuals, increasingly out homosexuals who do have children that are biologically their own. Even as a descriptive term, it's past its sell-by date. But, you're right, I dropped that into a half-thought without context or explanation.

[Silvermoth]

So, does anyone else just enjoy going down to their local library and checking out a book to read? I mostly stick to comics and fictional works.

I found myself watching movies or TV not as often as I got older.

What books are you interested in currently? Which do you recommend?

It's so funny you mentioned this because I was going to ask the same thing! I just finished reading "backstairs Billy" which is about a gay man who served the queen mum way back when being gay was illegal. It's a very gentle story but quite engrossing and William tallon is a fascinating and contentious character.

It's a jokey thing, but it's does come out of an inherently ugly place. Not necessarily personally, but societally.

I don't see it as particularly gendered. I tend to use it occasionally to clip people's wings a bit when they have a go at lgbtiq people

[Cold Water]

I wish to address the term "breeder". I would quote, but I'm not into multi-quoting today (too many posts mentioning the use of the term, and I'm working on limited time here):

As a woman, I do not appreciate the use of the term "breeder".
I am not a broodmare, as the term seems to imply.

Being a woman, I face sexism, misogyny, and oppression every single day, in some form or another.
And as an ally to the LGBTQIA community, who would fight tooth and nail for your rights (and I have), this is not a term I would expect this community to use, even jokingly, to refer to women.
I might expect (not accept, though!) a straight male to use such a derogatory, oppressive term to describe women, but I certainly do NOT expect to be oppressed by the oppressed.
No matter what our different situations may be, we should be lifting each other up and having each others' backs, not insulting one another.

[Kieran_Frost]

This is adorable. Your nephew is very, very lucky.

I use that term sometimes when I'm teasing friends, as a joke. Is it a bad term? I legit thought it was just a jokey thing to say.....

Much like with the term "queer" it's very much a "KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE" kind of word; and not one I personally ever use (and one that I would argue no-one should use unless a str8 person has first shown comfortability with it being used). In my experience the only times I've heard it used in "the other real world" (i.e. face-to-face) it was very much said with unkindness. There is still a big issue of misogyny in the LGBT community, and the term is most often used nastily when aimed at women (rather than "jokingly" when aimed at men).

I highly doubt any heterosexual person is offended by the term "breeders", if they even knew what it meant. I've only ever seen gay men take offense to that term and the one time I ever used it while conversing with a straight guy online he had never heard of it before.

I have certainly seen str8 people upset by it, and this thread responses shows that people DO take offence (rightly so). Any comment, when infused with a nastiness, even if the word itself isn't offensive, is unkind. And we should try and not use it, much like queer, in a thread where posters have made it clear they do not like it.
#respectEVERYONE

I needed a subset of men who aren't explicitly "gay men," who don't "breed."

I went to St Catherine's Indian School. I don't even know, for sure, which other branches of Christianity forbid their clergy from sexual relations or marriage, and most other religions don't anymore. Catholic priests were the safe bet, because I know they're not supposed to. And, there, too, there is something built up about how this helps them focus or makes them special. There's definitely a caste thing.

I kinda assume they don't call loads of other people "breeders" as much, though.

If it muddled my message or seemed to imply something else, whatever that may be, I'm sorry for that. I either should have fleshed it out more or left it off entirely. It started with the idea that "breeder" as a term for non-homosexuals is simply absurd in a world were we have straight people who don't have children, but also we have many homosexuals, increasingly out homosexuals who do have children that are biologically their own. Even as a descriptive term, it's past its sell-by date. But, you're right, I dropped that into a half-thought without context or explanation.

Agreed, but your OVERALL point is very, very true. We must MUST be respectful, and not use that word because it can and has been used in a very unkind way. Know your audience, people. Know your audience.

It's so funny you mentioned this because I was going to ask the same thing! I just finished reading "backstairs Billy" which is about a gay man who served the queen mum way back when being gay was illegal. It's a very gentle story but quite engrossing and William tallon is a fascinating and contentious character.

In high-school I read I'm the King of the Castle, and I always liked the homosexual subtext in that story. It was beautifully written, and I think should be essential at school for kids.

[Kieran_Frost]

COLTON HAYNES REVEALS WHY HE LEFT "ARROW"
http://www.comicbookresources.com/ar...-he-left-arrow

The actor reflected on a major moment in his career, when headlines surfaced about his sexual orientation, and history with men: "It was a complete shock. I wasn’t ready to be back in the headlines...I should have made a comment or a statement, but I just wasn’t ready. I didn’t feel like I owed anyone anything. I think in due time, everyone has to make those decisions when they’re ready, and I wasn’t yet. But I felt like I was letting people down by not coming forward with the rest of what I should have said."

Commenting on the struggles he's faced as a gay actor, Haynes said, "People who are so judgmental about those who are gay or different don’t realize that acting 24 hours a day is the most exhausting thing in the world."
[MORE IN LINK]

[t hedge coke]

Being a woman, I face sexism, misogyny, and oppression every single day, in some form or another.
And as an ally to the LGBTQIA community, who would fight tooth and nail for your rights (and I have), this is not a term I would expect this community to use, even jokingly, to refer to women.
I might expect (not accept, though!) a straight male to use such a derogatory, oppressive term to describe women, but I certainly do NOT expect to be oppressed by the oppressed.
No matter what our different situations may be, we should be lifting each other up and having each others' backs, not insulting one another.

Absolutely agree. And, thank you for stepping forward to say.

[NewMutant]

I'm glad Colton Hayes finally felt comfortable to come out, but this was not new information.

[t hedge coke]

I'm glad Colton Hayes finally felt comfortable to come out, but this was not new information.

The story isn't about whether or not he's gay.

[Kieran_Frost]

The story isn't about whether or not he's gay.

Agreed; but it's good he's added his voice to a growing number of younger actors who are finally becoming comfortable enough to be openly gay. Maybe the ol' guard will never come out, but it's good to see the up-and-coming actors are starting to (meaning in 30 years MAYBE we'll no longer have to ever worry about forcibly -- due to career desires -- closeted actors).

His story re-iterates the DAMAGE forcibly closeting your actors can have on a person. This needs to end.

[legion_quest]

I think Colton was like, the worst kept secret ever, but I'm so glad he felt able to finally be open about it.

I think things are getting much, much better with the youth of today, most of them are 'shipping' gay relationships anyway, so I think this sort of thing is likely going to be on the way out (as long as the actor themselves is down for revealing it - I think self imposed denial will always be with us).

The fact he is dreamy as f**k is just a nice added bonus!

[legion_quest]

If I'd actually used it, yes, you should report me.

I compared it to another term and asked how you would all feel. Which is angry, and disappointed, and hurt.

Because the term being defended is insulting, condescending, and rooted in ugliness.

I'm tired of legion_quest and others constantly shitting on women, shitting on straight people, shitting on bisexuality nonstop.

I don't use those terms. I'm not going to use those terms. But, I'm not going to keep quiet while people defend "breeder" as some harmless funny thing for gay men to call people behind their back or to each other because, "we know it's not true."

No.

Nobody gets special dispensation to use these terms, and then write it off with, "well, only some gay men get offended..."

No.

As I explained, it's something that I say with friends as part of a joke. My best friend is a straight guy, he'll call me a fag or a big gay, and I'll call him a breeder, it's just us being relaxed and cool with each other. I would never just randomly call somebody it, be they a woman or anyone else.

Get off your high horse and read what I typed, rather than what you thought I typed. I asked if it was bad, because my friends and I use it as a joke, it was other posters who then took it forward and defended it.

[Silvermoth]

Actually I never really thought about how bisexual people or women would react to a word like breeder. I'm definitely going to stop using it now. I feel very silly for not questioning myself on it til now

[t hedge coke]

he'll call me a fag or a big gay, and I'll call him a breeder, it's just us being relaxed and cool with each other. I would never just randomly call somebody it, be they a woman or anyone else.

You did defend its use. You use it yourself. Conditional defense, but defense.

And, honestly, as we've seen with both those words in this thread, not a great defense.

Can you bust your friend's balls and vice versa? Sure. That's friends. Part of being friends is that you probably say stupid stuff with each other. But, it's still rooted in ugliness. Any insulting term that you know you wouldn't call someone you're not close with, or use in seriousness at all... c'mon, this shouldn't be that hard to grasp.

[Falseface]

Let's be clear this is all my rambling and may not make any sense.

Hmm. I was the one who suggested it, but now I actually want to take it back.

(Can't though, since that's the sign of being a wish-y, wash-y tool.)

We all say cringe-y stuff at times as well. I know this. You, hopefully, know this.

You don't have to change in order to please some faceless person, who is either not your friend or is not a family member on a public forum if you feel pressure to do so by herd mentality and not out of personal choice.

Said faceless person also sometimes takes the advice given from their friends & relatives and disregards it, depending on how they feel and the situation.

I feel that I've triggered a discussion (?) or maybe it was already brewing underneath the surface before I got here.