The LGBTQIA-community

[Tugger]

Florida House of Representatives passes 'Don't Say Gay' bill.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-60514226

[Tugger]

I feel sick about what is happening in Ukraine but communities, including LGBTQ, have vowed to fight.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/ukraine...a-invades/#app

[CellarDweller]

the incident (understatement) between Russia and Ukraine is so worrying. Sending strength and love to everyone in the Ukraine.

[Justin K.]

It's got regular posting because we're making the effort. We need to continue to do so.


Have people shared their coming out stories here?

I never post here anymore but have felt the need to seek out people like me.

I was outed by my former parents. There was lots of drama going on at home with my former sister, where she was constantly fighting with my parents because she was still in high school and found out she was pregnant. My former parents were the type where if there was conflict, EVERYONE had to be involved and you had to pick a side because if you didn't pick a side you were against them. I just wanted to exist in my makeshift room because we moved all the time and could only afford 2 bedroom apartments, so I was usually stuck in half of the living room in a makeshift bedroom. My former sister was the favorite.

Anyways, I was staying with my boyfriend to avoid all the drama which pissed off my former parents because I chose not to engage or pick a side. I didn't want any of it. I was working 2 jobs at the time too, working 9PM to 5AM doing security then 6am to 9am doing stock for clothing store so I was already working myself hard.

My boyfriend shared a video to my Facebook making fun of douchebags, because it matched a lot of qualities his one friend we talked to at the time had. This is the same guy who later on dated my former sister only to cheat on her with a guy (that's a whole other story). My former dad being the insecure man he is took that as a dig at him when the video was not aimed at him at all. During my night shift he was sending me angry texts and stressing me out before I finally just shut off my phone so I could actually do work even though I was stressing about my very temperamental dad being mad. He's physically hit my former mom, my sister and I but usually he just yelled and was very verbal.

The next day after I got home from work, he and my former mom were still out so I slept. When I woke up that afternoon, my former parents confronted me, asking if me and my boyfriend were more than just friends. I finally said yes. My former dad took it surprisingly well and said he kind of always knew as there were signs, keeping in mind he always made gay jokes but it was fine because he listened to Queen. My former mom, who was more softer spoken broke down and cried and was upset which surprised me. She was always the nice one so things felt weird since.

We remained in contact for years, they did not like my boyfriend but 12 years later, he's not going anywhere. I refer to them as my former parents as they made the choice to disown me in 2020 during the COVID pandemic because they forgot my birthday. My birthday landed 2 weeks after lockdown so I was feeling pretty bummed all my plans got canceled. My former parents don't use social media and my former sister only has social media whenever she has a new boyfriend. Well, on my birthday, I got nothing from them. Not a text, no hbd, nothing. My sister conveniently brought her Instagram back that day, made a bunch of posts but again, no acknowledgement which I thought was shitty. The last time they messaged me was New Years 2020. I tried making plans with them as the last time I saw them was Thanksgiving 2019 but they kept making excuses so I left the ball in their court.

My former mom's birthday is basically a month after mine so when hers came up, I wished her a happy birthday and asked her why mine wasn't acknowledged. My former parents thought I was mad at them. I did not indicate this in any way and told them I wasn't, although them missing my birthday was shitty and made me feel bad. I communicated to them I was not happy with them.

A week later, it was mother's day and I was still a little bitter about my former parents and their b/s. The day after mother's day, I get an angry message from my former sister about how I made my former mom upset by not wishing her a happy mother's day. I didn't think she deserved it and thought I had every right to be mad at her, but the thought of my mom being sad didn't sit well with me so I reached out to her. My former mom got back to me, although I think former dad typed the message for her, talking about how I'm the worst son ever and how my boyfriend is just using me to pay his mortgage and told me goodbye forever via text. I have not heard from them since, although I am better off without them. Also my former sister was in no position to put me on blast and her putting her nose in where it doesn't belong was great fuel for me to finally go off on her because I've always bit my tongue and was too nice because I have always been the type to avoid conflict.

They are toxic people who can't be happy for anyone else and have to drag everyone else down to their level. Everything is a conflict and they take everything personally which is why I was at 19+ schools. Any constructive criticism at their job and instead of improving, they packed up and moved to a different city. I'm honestly surprised I turned out relatively normal but honestly after their fuckery, doing the opposite of anything they would do worked out for me.

I have a steady decent paying job, a house, and I live with someone who loves and respects me and his mom was more of a mom to me than my former parents were even when we were still in touch. I never knew unconditional love because with my birth family, everything had to have a catch so to this day I'm paranoid of everyone's intentions.

Come on trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms!

[Kieran_Frost]

Just posted my (rather scathing) review of West Side Story in the Film/TV sections... and this little bit of trivia made me realise, we only have an openly LGBT+ actor win an Oscar every twenty years.

• Sir John Gielgud for Arthur (1981)
• Angelina Jolie for Girl, Interrupted (1999)
• Ariana deBois for West Side Story (2021)

Which is a bit of a bummer, when you think about it. In fact, I've just quickly glanced over the last six years of acting nominations... I think DeBois is the only openly LGBT+ actor who's been nominated in however many years. The last one I could find was Lucas Hedges nominated in Manchester by the Seas (2016)... and while I'm not taking away from those who identify as sexually fluid, he said in 2018 "on that spectrum: Not totally straight, but also not gay and not necessarily bisexual" is hardly... GREAT representation when it comes to LGBT+ nominated actors. IN FACT, no, scrap that; he was asked about his sexuality in 2018; which nullifies his 2016 openly nominated status. Never mind. The quest continues...

EDIT: LOL! Okay... so I could be wrong, but scrolling back the last openly LGBT+ actor nomination I could find was Angelina Jolie for the Changeling (2008). Man, that f*ckin' sucks.

[Catlady in training]

An interesting comparison might be how many straight cis actors have won, or been nominated, for playing LGBT+ people during that time period. Definitely a bigger number. Not that I think that only gay people can play gay characters (though it should be the case for trans people), of course it is possible for straight actor to play gay character, but this is a side effect of that. Straight people get to win awards for portraying stories of LGBT+ people (usually sad ones, those win most awards) and it kind of seems like LGBT+ community gets robbed of that opportunity. A good straight actor and a good gay actor might give an equally excellent performance when playing some iconic gay character, but an openly gay actor winning an award for that performance would mean a lot more to many people. When you take it one movie at a time, it doesn't seem like a huge deal, but when you put it together like this, it is a bit sad, IMO. (And I say it despite the fact that I loved quite a few performances by straight actors, for example Benedict Cumberbatch in Imitation Game).

[Kieran_Frost]

I never post here anymore but have felt the need to seek out people like me.

I was outed by my former parents. There was lots of drama going on at home with my former sister, where she was constantly fighting with my parents because she was still in high school and found out she was pregnant. My former parents were the type where if there was conflict, EVERYONE had to be involved and you had to pick a side because if you didn't pick a side you were against them. I just wanted to exist in my makeshift room because we moved all the time and could only afford 2 bedroom apartments, so I was usually stuck in half of the living room in a makeshift bedroom. My former sister was the favorite.

Anyways, I was staying with my boyfriend to avoid all the drama which pissed off my former parents because I chose not to engage or pick a side. I didn't want any of it. I was working 2 jobs at the time too, working 9PM to 5AM doing security then 6am to 9am doing stock for clothing store so I was already working myself hard.

My boyfriend shared a video to my Facebook making fun of douchebags, because it matched a lot of qualities his one friend we talked to at the time had. This is the same guy who later on dated my former sister only to cheat on her with a guy (that's a whole other story). My former dad being the insecure man he is took that as a dig at him when the video was not aimed at him at all. During my night shift he was sending me angry texts and stressing me out before I finally just shut off my phone so I could actually do work even though I was stressing about my very temperamental dad being mad. He's physically hit my former mom, my sister and I but usually he just yelled and was very verbal.

The next day after I got home from work, he and my former mom were still out so I slept. When I woke up that afternoon, my former parents confronted me, asking if me and my boyfriend were more than just friends. I finally said yes. My former dad took it surprisingly well and said he kind of always knew as there were signs, keeping in mind he always made gay jokes but it was fine because he listened to Queen. My former mom, who was more softer spoken broke down and cried and was upset which surprised me. She was always the nice one so things felt weird since.

We remained in contact for years, they did not like my boyfriend but 12 years later, he's not going anywhere. I refer to them as my former parents as they made the choice to disown me in 2020 during the COVID pandemic because they forgot my birthday. My birthday landed 2 weeks after lockdown so I was feeling pretty bummed all my plans got canceled. My former parents don't use social media and my former sister only has social media whenever she has a new boyfriend. Well, on my birthday, I got nothing from them. Not a text, no hbd, nothing. My sister conveniently brought her Instagram back that day, made a bunch of posts but again, no acknowledgement which I thought was shitty. The last time they messaged me was New Years 2020. I tried making plans with them as the last time I saw them was Thanksgiving 2019 but they kept making excuses so I left the ball in their court.

My former mom's birthday is basically a month after mine so when hers came up, I wished her a happy birthday and asked her why mine wasn't acknowledged. My former parents thought I was mad at them. I did not indicate this in any way and told them I wasn't, although them missing my birthday was shitty and made me feel bad. I communicated to them I was not happy with them.

A week later, it was mother's day and I was still a little bitter about my former parents and their b/s. The day after mother's day, I get an angry message from my former sister about how I made my former mom upset by not wishing her a happy mother's day. I didn't think she deserved it and thought I had every right to be mad at her, but the thought of my mom being sad didn't sit well with me so I reached out to her. My former mom got back to me, although I think former dad typed the message for her, talking about how I'm the worst son ever and how my boyfriend is just using me to pay his mortgage and told me goodbye forever via text. I have not heard from them since, although I am better off without them. Also my former sister was in no position to put me on blast and her putting her nose in where it doesn't belong was great fuel for me to finally go off on her because I've always bit my tongue and was too nice because I have always been the type to avoid conflict.

They are toxic people who can't be happy for anyone else and have to drag everyone else down to their level. Everything is a conflict and they take everything personally which is why I was at 19+ schools. Any constructive criticism at their job and instead of improving, they packed up and moved to a different city. I'm honestly surprised I turned out relatively normal but honestly after their fuckery, doing the opposite of anything they would do worked out for me.

I have a steady decent paying job, a house, and I live with someone who loves and respects me and his mom was more of a mom to me than my former parents were even when we were still in touch. I never knew unconditional love because with my birth family, everything had to have a catch so to this day I'm paranoid of everyone's intentions.

Come on trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms!

Hello Justin. I am so, so sorry it's taken me this long to respond to this; I wanted to give it due care and attention then work took me away for a long time. I'm very sorry to hear what you've had to go through, and wanted to say: firstly, thank-you for sharing this. I know it can't have been easy, and I appreciate your candour. Secondly, please know what happened isn't your fault. It's not comment on you as a person, merely the baggage they are dealing with in their own lives, and they are lashing out. It'll be a long process to healing this, and that may never come (sadly). But know people can change, and while the ball is very much in their court to take the first steps to a reunification, I hope you stay open to the idea down the line. People can change, just some take far longer than is right to discover that.

I'm very glad to know you have a loving partner of many years and you've built a life away from your toxic upbringing. Sending huge hugs and support and know you can always DM me to chat, if you ever need.
#loveislove

An interesting comparison might be how many straight cis actors have won, or been nominated, for playing LGBT+ people during that time period. Definitely a bigger number. Not that I think that only gay people can play gay characters (though it should be the case for trans people), of course it is possible for straight actor to play gay character, but this is a side effect of that. Straight people get to win awards for portraying stories of LGBT+ people (usually sad ones, those win most awards) and it kind of seems like LGBT+ community gets robbed of that opportunity. A good straight actor and a good gay actor might give an equally excellent performance when playing some iconic gay character, but an openly gay actor winning an award for that performance would mean a lot more to many people. When you take it one movie at a time, it doesn't seem like a huge deal, but when you put it together like this, it is a bit sad, IMO. (And I say it despite the fact that I loved quite a few performances by straight actors, for example Benedict Cumberbatch in Imitation Game).

Quite a lot, sadly. From a quick glance I found 12, often with multiple nominations in them for LGBT+ roles: the Imitation Game, Carol, the Kids Are Alright, the Favourite, Tick Tick BOOM!, Bohemian Rhapsody, Call Me By Your Name, Moonlight, the Danish Girl, Dallas Buyers Club, Albert Noobs, and Black Swan (and Lincoln and My Week With Marilyn... as in nominated for playing real LGBT+ people, even if the film never referenced it)

[CellarDweller]

Wishing all of my fellow LGBTQI+ members (and our supporters) a SUPER Pride Month.

[TheRay]

Pride Month, let's gooooo!

[babyblob]

Has anyone done anything for Pride month? Any events or anything?


My mental health has kept me from going to the event with the big crowd but I did show support by donating money to a local non profit cloths shop that provides outfits and clothes to Trans Teens. Such as a male who is transitioning to Female they will help them with female clothing. They also provide Prom clothes and graduation clothes for parties and events.

I would encourage those who can to donate to LTGB+ Charities if they are able. The war on Trans and Gay rights. Every bit helps.

[TheRay]

Nice blob!
Well done, lad!

[babyblob]

I posted this in the politics thread. But it needs to be spread.

This is a sick human. He is Pastor Mark Burns running for office in SC. His views on LTGB+ are sickening. Pure sick. This is what we need to fight against at the booth. Anyone who reads this and does not feel anger is not human.

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/06/...t-lgbtq-youth/

[CellarDweller]

I've seen people talking about executing gay people, now they want to come for the allies? Lovely.

I wish I could see how Karma deals with these people.

[Malvolio]

I posted this in the politics thread. But it needs to be spread.

This is a sick human. He is Pastor Mark Burns running for office in SC. His views on LTGB+ are sickening. Pure sick. This is what we need to fight against at the booth. Anyone who reads this and does not feel anger is not human.

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/06/...t-lgbtq-youth/

He talks about how "we started executing people for violating the Constitution, just like we did in 1776?" Um, the Constitution was not written until 1787. I think 1776 is just a number to these numbskulls.

[TheRay]

It’s a skill not to feel anger at words — and to a different extent actions.
I have faith that with a position like that it’s unlikely he’ll win an election.