What children should/shouldn't be exposed to

[DS1]

I've long been thinking about it, and I wonder if it's really that big a deal for children to hear or say vulgar words. I mean really, some people act like children saying **** is the end of the world. I can understand wanting children to have a more refined vocabulary, then again I don't believe that's where the concern for children hearing or saying those satanic words come from, it really seems like idiotic moralists who think such words will leave children traumatized.

Then there's also the matter of sexual content in the American media (not just the US media, but it's primarily what I have in mind right now). Good god, sexual content, and the idea of exposing children to it, causes so much hysteria it's hilarious (but also infuriating). What do they think would happen if children saw penises, vaginas and anuses anyway? That they'll turn into rapists, hedonists or even just become promiscuous? But of course, not as much concern that watching people die brutally will turn them into barbaric brutes and serial killers. Hell, it seems like being a murderer is considered more admirable than being promiscuous, and rape is often blamed on the victim. At least that's how it looks to me, sometimes.

I was already exposed to sexuality when I was a child. I don't have this uncontrollable urge to rape anyone I'm attracted to, which is the excuse rapists, and that other breed of losers with sexual hangups who defend them (maybe they could be called wannabe-rapists), use to justify their actions. Not to mention rape is about power, not an uncontrollable attraction to another person.

So as far as I'm concerned, no word is too bad for children to hear, and they need to be educated about sex as early as possible in their lives. Tell them that it's okay for them to say ****, or ****, but that they should also make an effort to expand their vocabulary. I'm not ashamed of using swear words, but I don't often use them, because I don't often need to.

So, to conclude: I hope one day media catered to children will have swear words and explicit mentions of sexuality, if not full-blown nudity. Notice I didn't suggest suggest graphic violence. It'd probably be a redundant suggestion anyway.

[CrazyOldHermit]

I think the concept of profanity in general is idiotic. The idea that **** is offensive and poop isn't despite meaning the exact same thing is something I'll never understand.

[Carabas]

I think that on the list of things that should be kept away from kids, stuff like actual violence, guns, predatory adults, high fructose corn syrup, and broccoli (okay, that one is maybe just me) rate a lot higher than profanity or even porn.

[Ghost-Type]

Well. I've, what you say, the most liberal views, and I have watched a child who, for the last 10yrs, has been raised in a manor I'd be proud. This isn't my child btw, a friend's child. This girl has been taken to parties (not allowed to drink, just attend), sworn in front of (not at, and her swearing is not tollerated by her parents), allowed to watch violent and sexual movies, allowed to play any video game (including the likes of Saints Rowe the Third, which is her favourite). Now, this child, who is now about 10-11, is the most well-spoken, compassionate, and fun-loving person her age I've ever seen, and due to her influences, her knowledge of the greater world is far advanced compared to her peers. How she's turned out due to this parenting has just been the perfect validation for me that teaching right from wrong is independent of influences if you put a little more effort in to address everything. In light of this, I can only see any form of censorship now as an inhibitor of what could be a child's ideal growth.

On a side note, it's worth mentioning that she has the laugh of a killer. I wish our language allowed me to explain it accurately. I'm dark (humor), and it scares me, and I'm 20. This could be coincidental.

+CrazyOldHermit --- Totally digging your logic.

+Carabas --- Totally agree. Children should not, under any circumstance, suffer broccoli.

[mathew101281]

I think that on the list of things that should be kept away from kids, stuff like actual violence, guns, predatory adults, high fructose corn syrup, and broccoli (okay, that one is maybe just me) rate a lot higher than profanity or even porn.

I disagree with you about porn. It's my experience that people that are introduced to sexuality through porn wind up with a very warped views of what sexuality actually is like. To many of the miss conceptions that people(usually males) have about female sexuality and male/female relations in general can be drawn back to the fact that a lot of people get most of their early intro to sexuality through porn.

[bert]

it's the job of each individual Parent to step up and monitor their own kid.

it's not the job of the State, the Federal Government, nor, least of all, the Moral Majority to decide.

it's each INDIVIDUAL Parents job.

[t hedge coke]

it's the job of each individual Parent to step up and monitor their own kid.

it's not the job of the State, the Federal Government, nor, least of all, the Moral Majority to decide.

it's each INDIVIDUAL Parents job.

Optimally, yes. But we have Child Protective Services, adoption agencies, public schools, child aid services, babysitters, family who take an interest in children, etc, specifically because many individual parents simply aren't up to the job, and others aren't up to it alone. And, being the genetic parent shouldn't be the final decision on who gets absolute say in a child's welfare, especially since there's nothing that qualifies them for the job, as it were.

[CSTowle]

Yeah, I'd say let the parents decide. Eventually the children will be exposed to all of this anyway, but I don't blame the parents if they want to extend that ignorance as long as possible. Maybe not the route I'd go, but I'm also not a parent so I can't say for sure.

So long as your ability as an adult to see and enjoy things other might deem vulgar or profane isn't hindered unreasonably I don't see why you should be angry. Most of these moral standards and traditions are outdated but are rooted in sound logic for their time, and the negative consequences for adhering to them (being judged as prudish/naïve by peers, missed opportunities for enjoyment) aren't as bad as an STD or teen pregnancy.

[DS1]

I disagree with you about porn. It's my experience that people that are introduced to sexuality through porn wind up with a very warped views of what sexuality actually is like. To many of the miss conceptions that people(usually males) have about female sexuality and male/female relations in general can be drawn back to the fact that a lot of people get most of their early intro to sexuality through porn.

I sort of agree with you. The concept of sex as entertainment in itself is a good one, but porn however isn't just sex. It's essentially the proof of the failures of puritanism, as not only it doesn't stop people from wanting sex, it in fact makes the need stronger, and in many cases, uglier. Most porn is catered to those sexually repressed men who gave in, who view sex as dirty (and might even prefer it that way) and who hate women, hence why they (women) are often treated like **** in porn. To them, porn validates their views about sex, and sexually liberated women in particular, that sex is filthy, and that such women would have to be sluts, to be bad, to even want sex. The puritanical idea being that good women, if they even exist, don't love sex.

So indeed, porn should not be used as a source of sexual education for children, though I disagree with the idea that porn can be a bad influence. It is no worse than violent media, as in porn doesn't turn men into rapists, anymore than the GTA games turned people into gangsters. People who view porn as educative probably already had sexual issues, which they felt were "validated" when they watched porn, or they were idiots who couldn't be bothered to look further. But it won't turn a guy who not only isn't sexist but in fact believes in gender equality, into a chauvinist. Though there is this issue of subconscious, unintentional bigotry, but that's for another thread.

In short, even if children innocently assumed most porn accurately depicted sex, if they're open minded, and without sexual hangups, they could be shown that porn doesn't paint an accurate picture.

[Mark]

I think the concept of profanity in general is idiotic. The idea that **** is offensive and poop isn't despite meaning the exact same thing is something I'll never understand.

Profanity is -or was- a sign of loosing control. Now it's become common and generally accepted as pronouns, adjectives and adverbs and it reduces the language. Instead of taking a few seconds to search through all of the words in a persons vocabulary to explain how they feel and why a profanity is thrown out. Consequently the more them you use the less eloquent you become because you're always short cutting and speaking without thinking. Also the basic purpose of a profanity is to offend. To shock and/or impress who ever it is you are talking too. Kids who grow up using a lot of profanity are not kids who grow up learning a lot of control.

[the4thpip]

Profanity is -or was- a sign of loosing control. Now it's become common and generally accepted as pronouns, adjectives and adverbs and it reduces the language. Instead of taking a few seconds to search through all of the words in a persons vocabulary to explain how they feel and why a profanity is thrown out. Consequently the more them you use the less eloquent you become because you're always short cutting and speaking without thinking. Also the basic purpose of a profanity is to offend. To shock and/or impress who ever it is you are talking too. Kids who grow up using a lot of profanity are not kids who grow up learning a lot of control.

It's a lot more complex than that from a linguist's point of view.

Language creates profanity for the reasons it creates anything: It's useful. And its only use is not just to offend. When you are by yourself and hit your thumb with a hammer, whom are you trying to offend when you yell out: #*%&§! ? Here the profanity serves as an outlet, a kind of mental hygiene

It can also be used to create an atmosphere of familiarity and informality, which is why many people curse around their friends but not around strangers.

And ultimately, profanity is very honest. In Nick Hornby's "About a Boy", Will asks the child Marcus if his mom's suicide attempt from a few weeks back still bothered him, and Marcus said yes, and Will replied with a very sad, frustrated and completely honest "fucking hell!". He later feels guilty about it, but we also see from the boy's perspective that the cursing was the first thing any adult had done that had made him feel a little better, because it was so honest and he knew that Will's sympathy was real because of that.

[md62]

it's the job of each individual Parent to step up and monitor their own kid.

it's not the job of the State, the Federal Government, nor, least of all, the Moral Majority to decide.

it's each INDIVIDUAL Parents job.

I agree. I'm glad my children are adults. And proud to say well adjusted.

I want the gov't to stay out of my private life/home.

[md62]

Optimally, yes. But we have Child Protective Services, adoption agencies, public schools, child aid services, babysitters, family who take an interest in children, etc, specifically because many individual parents simply aren't up to the job, and others aren't up to it alone. And, being the genetic parent shouldn't be the final decision on who gets absolute say in a child's welfare, especially since there's nothing that qualifies them for the job, as it were.

And yet despite these agencies children seem to be more stressed than ever before. There is no good substitute for caring loving parents. Not the school system, not any gov't agency.

[md62]

So, to conclude: I hope one day media catered to children will have swear words and explicit mentions of sexuality, if not full-blown nudity. Notice I didn't suggest suggest graphic violence. It'd probably be a redundant suggestion anyway.

I guarantee that if you expressed this viewpoint out loud near a police officer, teacher or health care worker & you have children (by law they would have to report you) - protective services would be knocking on your door...

[CliffHanger2]

Nah I was sitting in on a class one day and saw a kid whowas about six tell the teacher in the room " Oh hellll no! F#% that! Im not doing that ****! " When told he had to finish his work to go to recess. Yeah it was disturbing.

I dont think children should be sheltered too much but they definitely shouldn't be exposed to certain things too soon and on a regular basis. I agree its the parents job first and foremost to raise their kids. If your kid has a t.v,x box,computer and a lock on the door you're not doing it right.