Well about Alex before she joined the DEO she certainly didn't repress anything or control her emotions, and she did seem genuinely interest in Max Lord before she knew how much of a bad guy he was...
As for Winn, yeah that's probably what I would have said or at least thought were I in his position...
I never bought that she was necessarily interested in Max. I saw it as more her humoring him for the sake of the mission. And yeah, she is someone who tries to keep herself in control, and her personal life was a bit of a cypher before now.
That's almost her little speech verbatim. I didn't really buy blaming sexual repression on her adopted sibling. It sounds ridiculous just saying it. Though nobody cares, I'd have done it different. Glad we're there. Just should've been more decompressed and woven in earlier.
What was with the Dominator bowing to Mon-El? Is it because of those aliens hunting him, and showing respect for the assumed future dead?
And I don't think those aliens aren't hunting him. They probably think they're rescueing him.
It could explain some of his behavior as well. And also why he's reluctant to really make a move vis a via dating Kara right now.