Yeah, TLJ’s problem is that it wants to be progressive, ground-breaking, and empowering... but the way it’s made ends up reinforcing and even exacerbating regressive stereotypes about race and gender while doubling down on the repetitive elements of TFA even more.
Rey choosing to be actualized could be empowering... if it weren’t for TFA having already shown her as actualized, motivated, and more importantly, as a strong and toughened person - because it insists on making her gullible, weak-willed, and so empathetic towards Kylo (and just Kylo) that she ends up becoming far too close to a “damsel” type of female protagonist. On top of that, the greater focus on Luek and Kylo over her (they feature in the climax instead of her, their past matters to the story for three flashbacks while her is dismissed, their character arcs are given precedence over hers which barely even exists, and their relationship is the focal point of Luke’s arc) that it’s effectively not her movie, but another one for the dudes... who are both written with a massive double standard where their comparatively pathetic feeling matter more than the lives and actions of other character.
Finn, in comparison, gets totally demoted, demeaned, and infantilized as the film tries to finagle a way to portray his attachment to Rey as a bad thing while it was simultaneously arguing Rey needed to care more about Kylo. Finn was also actualized, saw the bigger picture, and was, y’know, the male lead in TFA... but in TLJ, he’s strictly a support character who needs to be lectured on child slavery and the grimness of the world, who’s injuries and past are only ever referenced for cheap, mean-spirited jokes. And worst of all, his unnecessary, character-regressing arc is ultimately a waste of time as a supporting role to another supporting role where people screw up because his friend (played by a Latino actor) didn’t listen to a badly written white authority.
Kylo assaulted Rey and violated her mind in a metaphor for sexual assault before murdering and maiming her friends, and Luke’s only contribution after wallowing in self-pity for years is to distract people for five minutes to rescue 12 people... but in TLJ, Rey must find Kylo sympathetic and worth submitting herself to torture for while the script postpones her own arc until the next film, and apparently Luke doing the bare minimum is worth more in- and out-of-universe admiration than Finn, the guy who’s actions culminated in Starkiller Base blowing up.
We know misogynists and alt-right assholes attacked TLJ... because we already saw them attack TFA. But TFA made $700 million more and was more successful with women and minorities than TLJ *as well* as the conventionally expected white male audience... at least in part because TFA was a more progressive movie as well as more crowd-pleasing, while, to be blunt, a lot of TLJ’s regressive elements were banal at best and horribly sexist or filled with obnoxious white privilege at worst. Which, since TLJ was also trying to be more mature in some areas while being more juvenile in others, led to its incredibly divisive reputation.
But in general... you don't have to prefer focusing on white guys over women and minorities, tolerate and accept abusive and toxic relationships with shallowly written and out of focus female characters, or think the alt-right baddie makes better sense as a male lead than the child slave soldier in order to like TLJ after TFA... but it will certainly help.
I still hold that the majority of TLJ’s critics aren’t composed of alt-right misogynists and racists, but of people compelled by far more diverse reasons - including a significant number of Rey and Finn fans who feel bored, insulted and disgusted at their treatment in TLJ, alongside others unwilling to accept a shallowly written and pretentious plotline for strictly intellectual or lore-based reasons.
The idiots who protested TFA were still in the critics group... but they can’t significantly explain the $700 million loss or the lack of goodwill and investment in Rey and Finn, two characters who were shockingly popular to LFL after TFA.
TLJ’s biggest problem is it wanted to be progressive, but it’s priorities and POVs were regressive compared to what came immediately before it. It’s maybe the perfect encapsulation of accidental and unknown bias sabotaging attempts by well intentioned people to make a stand, as they end up subconsciously acting on their biases in ways that unintentionally but actively hurt their message.