I think it was ridiculous how in Superman Returns Lois hadn't realize Clark is Superman after having sex with him and having plenty of interactions with both Clark and Supes. Oh wait, it was a sort of sequel to Superman 2 and Clark erased her memory of them together, ugh lol.. it's so messy, thank you, Bryan Singer..
I think I prefer how Donner and Lester did it in the first 2 movies, having Lois soon starting to suspect that Clark could be Superman. It made her look smart, because it's not believable that she wouldn't notice the similarities. On the other hand, the Supergirl show does a terrible job at that and it makes Lena look retarded for not realizing Kara is SG. They have too many scenes together to not have realized it long ago. It's not like Melissa acts and sounds remarkably different.