Originally Posted by
RobertMacQuarrie1
I think the problem with that, especially when it comes to love interests, is that the character really isn't written to address what the audience may need or want, but to their specifications. Often it seems that the love interest isn't written as a way to create an interesting story first, but instead under the auspices of being a better match for the protagonist than other love interests. The story seems to come second. In regards to Spider-Man, it seems the primary focus of the creators when coming up with this new love interest is to make her into a more appropriate match rather than focusing on creating a compelling narrative or arc. The problem this causes is that while the character may have some unique qualities, the arc they go through is the same arc that several characters went through before- Peter meets them, they have a will they or won't they, they date after some struggle, Peter frets about revealing his secret to him, and they eventually break up due to the stress. There may be some variation, but the arc remains essentially the same. That is why despite the female character being different, their role in the story is the same others went through and thus doesn't come off as particularly interesting. Mostly because the audience has been through this story before, and been through it when it was told better.
In addition to that, this more appropriate love interest tends to be not a character that the protagonist might find more appealing, but what the creator finds more appealing. And not every creator is going to have the same ideas as to what would be best for the character, and it may conflict with the audiences values. I'm reminded of Doctor Who and the last two showrunners. Both created companions and love interests that they considered good matches for the protagonist, but met with some resistance of the fanbase. For Russel T. Davis, he regarded Rose as the perfect companion and someone the Doctor would easily fall in love with. Stephen Moffat created River Song, perhaps the exact opposite character in terms of background and abilities, and she was regarded as being worthy of the Doctor's affections and even becoming his wife. But the audience found Rose rather unlikable, coming off as childish and selfish and many of her better qualities talked up but never shown. With River Song, she was criticized for essentially taking over the show, being better than even the titular character than most everything, and coming off as a Mary Sue. I think this is a fairly common problem when creating new love interests, since the creator is looking to satisfy their own wants, rather than the reader's needs.
And to bring it back around to MJ, this is why I think she is a great love interest for Spider-Man. She wasn't written to be Peter's perfect love. She was someone who was just meant to be a distraction for the real love interest. But the benefit was that she was able to develop a personality all of her own, which allowed to personal growth. Her arc wasn't about giving Peter his perfect mate, but her coming to terms with overcoming her own flaws and hangups and accepting that loving Peter isn't going to lead to a happy ending but that it would be worth it anyway. She wasn't written to be perfect. That's why she's so appealing. She's not Peter's perfect match. And it is that conflict that fuels the drama in the mythos, and makes her character and her relationship with Peter so compelling.