Originally Posted by
CSTowle
Started off (as most who post here will have, being mostly from North America or the UK) as a Christian and have mostly had interactions with that religion. So my journey from religious(?) to atheist began there. It may help that when they list the least religious states in the US mine (New Hampshire) and the one just over the border (Vermont) are among the top. That said, I grew up in a home with a Catholic-ish mother (also grew up in hippy times and was into some weird stuff, including crystals/horoscopes/Wiccan-ish and Eastern-ish half-assed/repurposed ideas), and a father I rarely saw and never really spoke about religion.
I was told there was a god, and a heaven and a hell, and all of the stories. I believed like I had about Santa, and the Easter Bunny, etc. because that's what I was told and I went along to get along. Also, I was let in on the secret on the others. Didn't attend a Catholic Church (mom was pretty laid back about it, let me figure out where I was), but attended Sunday School for years at a few different churches.
I think the one that helped me the most was Bow Baptist. They took things very seriously, called every adult member "Brother" or "Sister"-fill in the name-, and it was around the time I started noticing inconsistencies and failures of logic in the stories. So I started asking questions. This was extremely frowned upon, but I always figured "where better to ask?" I was punished, often seated with the girls (logic being, I guess you don't want to be a girl?), and never found satisfying answers there.
I do remember every week they'd have a special group prayer. They'd say, "anyone who doesn't feel Jesus is in their heart right now come with Sister (I honestly forget) into this room". And every week I realized I didn't think he was there, so I'd go in. And we'd hold hands, bow our heads, and pray real hard. And I did, because I thought that was what you did. Never did work though.
I honestly thought there was something wrong with me. Everyone (I thought, as a kid) believed this stuff, why couldn't I? I'd say the closest thing I had to a religious experience actually came from watching stand-up comedy. George Carlin. He said things I'd been thinking for years, only he said them better than I ever could, made them funny, and made it seem like we were the sane ones. It went a long way to making me feel like it was OK to think the way I did, even if everyone around me at the time appeared to believe the opposite.
I went on to be pretty angry at religion (mostly Christianity, as that was my only real exposure at the time), then eventually settled into realizing these things are mostly determined by where you're born and who your parents and community are. It'd be like getting mad at someone born in NYC for being a Yankees fan. I do still enjoy the discussions, but I understand why it becomes heated on occasion. For me and most non-Dawkins types on my side of it there's not as much at stake. It's like talking about Star Trek or Batman. For others it's what their entire worldview is based upon.