Your house is surrounded by the following armies:
Round 1: 10 000 Urk Hai of Isenguard (plus wargs and trolls)
Round 2: the armies of Mordor, plus the Nazgul with their fell beasts
The Twist: all orcs are 3 inches tall, with the rest being in scale. Everyone within 100 kilometers around you is gone and you can't leave your house or call for help