You vs orcs

[Stigmazilla]

Your house is surrounded by the following armies:

Round 1: 10 000 Urk Hai of Isenguard (plus wargs and trolls)

Round 2: the armies of Mordor, plus the Nazgul with their fell beasts


The Twist: all orcs are 3 inches tall, with the rest being in scale. Everyone within 100 kilometers around you is gone and you can't leave your house or call for help

[Cthulhu_of_R'lyeh]

I'm glad I spent money on a nice pair of leather boots awhile back.

[Postmania]

...I think I'm screwed.

Damn, if only my shed were in my house

[rhyvurg]

I got long pants, work boots, a heavy winter coat, one of those propane torches for getting rid of dead brush in the shed, and one of those DR mower things if I run out of fuel. I got this.

[The MunchKING]

The MunchKING mocks them, as everyone knows Mini characters can't do damage.

[Hiromi]

I go all Batgirl on them

[shades of eternity]

after picking up a perfectly good set of heavy duty metal rimmed work books, I entertain the neighbors with a wonderful rendition of london bridge is falling down. .

well that and the strategic use of a lawn mower. <eg>.

[Sharpandpointies]

Fight One - I relax up on the 8th floor, relatively secure in the knowledge that they'll never reach me.

Fight Two - After the Nazgul bust through my window, I use a blanket to net them. After turning over the coffee table on the blanket, I take a hot bath to deal with the effects of the Black Breath on my fingertips.

[NeuroticNyx]

I set up a bunch of duct tape and fly traps around all of the entrance areas, then grab the chainsaw from the garage for anything that manages to get past.

[Shellhead]

First fight: 3" orcs can only get in my house one of two ways, the front door or the kitchen door. My basement has heavy glass brick windows that the orcs probably can't break, but they might eventually chop their way through my wooden doors. First, I put three pans of water and my pressure cooker on the stove, and turn up the heat. Then, I put on my stomping boots and get an aerosol can and matches, and set lots of tiny orcs on fire on both the front and side steps. My cat has fun for a while, but probably eventually retreats with one orc in his mouth. After the aerosol cans run out, I switch to spraying them WD-40 and setting that on fire. Finally, I go back for pans of boiling water and splash the invaders vigorously. Then I start stomping survivors. I think that I've got this fight handled.

Second fight: I don't have a good way of keeping out the Nazgul on their fell beasts, and my previous tactics would be more problematic indoors. So I grab my baseball bat and swat them out of the air, one at a time. However, this might take a while, giving the armies a chance to get inside. I think that I might lose this fight.

[Lord Falcon]

Would the Nazgul fear aura be downsized as well? Otherwise being in the presence of all nine Nazgul would probably keep me in a fetal position while the army pokes me to death.

[Cthulhu_of_R'lyeh]

Would the Nazgul fear aura be downsized as well? Otherwise having all nine Nazgul directing their fear auras solely at me would probably keep me in a detal position while the army pokes me to death.

[Lazzlo304]

My dogs solo, the Yorkshire Terrier are a vicious breed.

[Stigmazilla]

My dogs solo, the Yorkshire Terrier are a vicious breed.

I have to disagree, I'd say a dog would go running from a wave of arrows.

[Hiromi]

I have to disagree, I'd say a dog would go running from a wave of arrows.

Ever see a dog determined to get a porcupine? They don't care. They're dumb like that.

Edit: Thought about posting pictures, but I dislike looking at them