JLA:THE SILVER AGE TPB Review

[Brian Adkins]

The cover of Brave and the Bold #29 has our usual cast of 5 heroes fighting a funky looking yellow robot. Spoiler:the other two "part-timers" show up but aren't on the cover. Poor Aquaman gets no respect again as he's the only one being held in the robot's grip and needs a sledgehammer to pound on it. Not that it couldn't be seen as smart, just that he is very strong but it doesn't show here. Maybe he pulled the sledgehammer from a "magical place" like Prince Adam used to do with his sword to change into He-Man.

The opening splash page shows the team -and Batman!-being held against their will to their chairs as the villain tells us that he has the 4 most destructive weapons ever devised and traveled 10,000 years from the future to do battle with them!

In a bottom text it calls them the "Super-Seven!"

Next page,we find out that our villain Xotar is an arch-criminal from the year 11,960 and has a cavern filled with "super-scientific instruments" and is being besieged by the "inter-solar" police! He claims to have 4 weapons to fight the police but knows they have counter-weapons for 3 of them. Only 1 of the weapons will defeat them but he doesn't know which one! Okay,let all of that sink in for a minute.

We see the police outside and they seem to have a gun of some kind melting the cavern door. Xotar says all he needs is a minute to elude capture because he'll just use his mighty robot that is also a time machine! ...um,if you have a time machine and don't know which weapon could beat you why not just go back in time and find out? I'm just sayin'!

Xotar decides to jump 10,000 years into the past to fight the JLA because if they can't touch him the police can't! Logic!

Now we find out that Xotar is confident in defeating the JLA because of a very old book that has writing from Wonder Woman with several words marked out except for " ...one of the four weapons used by Xotar....to defeat the Justice League of America..." He says history has already recorded his journey to the past even though he hasn't experienced it yet. This is why time travel stories can get confusing.

Xotar starts to ponder which of his weapons will be used by him to defeat the JLA:the "microscopitor?" or the "de-evolutionizer" he stole from the interstellar space laboratory? the third weapon he stole from the ancient ruins of an Andromeda world? What? no catchy name? He has a hunch it might be the 4th one that he found in deep space that was made for a mad dictator of Aldebaran to try and conquer a galaxy! No name for it either. So far Xotar is just shown to be a thief not an inventor or scientist.

The time travel robot used to be called Ilaric,master robot of Illirium,the robot planet! "A perfect mechanical brain in an indestructible body." After Ilaric solved time traveling to past ages ,Xotar tricked it after it built the time machine in its own body by cutting the control wires from its "neutronic brain" and it now obeys him. So he's not a total idiot. Who else wants to see the robot planet? Maybe it's like Cybertron from the Transformers?

Cut to 1960 where Snapper Carr is ice skating on a frozen pond,and Xotar grabs him with a robotic claw! Snapper sends out the alarm and here comes our heroes!

The text wonders why Superman hasn't responded? I'd say it's because he's "Super-busy."

Everyone ends up at their "secret sanctuary" and Xotar's voice comes from Snapper's lips challenging the JLA to fight him one at a time! John wonders smartly ,"Why bother? Let's all go after him!" But a yellow,"gravitic" beam holds them to their chairs. Xotar says he's sure Flash will figure a way loose so challenges him first! And gives him a riddle! Why? I don't know. "When the ghost walks at Hesperus on the second day of the moonless month,I am waiting to do battle!"

Flash vibrates faster than the speed of light to frees himself and runs off to fight!

No one knows where Xotar is or what he might do to the others if they don't fight so I guess that makes sense.

[Brian Adkins]

Okay,Xotar only has an old book to go by when it come to the JLA but how does he know the location of the "secret" sanctuary? Sure we can assume he found out because in the future its location is known but it never says that.

Also,just noticed the robot's head looks like an owl head.

Why give someone a riddle for your location for a fight? Yes,I know,as stated ealier, it was writen for a younger audience so,more than likely,it was for educational reasons but seems odd when the villain is there to test weapons on them not challenge their knack for solving long worded riddles.

[Brian Adkins]

Chapter 2: The Flash sees "the robot out of time as a shimmering vision-always just out of reach." That's actually a really good taunt from the Weapons Master. But then,we see Xotar -who is still,of course,sitting inside the robot-we can see him due to there being a window and hear him through a speaker-have the robot run to their next location. Why? It travels through time! Surely,a few seconds,if that, would be no problem.

The Flash is now running through "Middledale" which is ...well,I don't know where it's at. Maybe next to Riverdale? Barry has one part of the riddle solved as he already knows that "When the Ghost Walks" is theatrical slang for a pay day. Anyone want to explain that? Next he's off to the library and learns the word Hesperus is the name given by Homer in his Iliad to the planet Venus. He guesses that since there is a Project Venus in Florida-a top priority crash program to send a robot to the planet Venus-Xotar must be going to strike there and then races down the Atlantic Coast line. He also figures that very day will be the day for Xotar to strike because the "new moon" which is invisible to Earth eyes,appears every 29 1/2 days. Therefore,February with only 28 days (obviously not a leap year) is occasionally a "moonless" month. February 1st was pay day so,there you go.

Gen. Morgan Anderson and civilian chief Warner Hunter are warned by Flash. Right on cue,Xotar strikes! Using the "Microscopitor" he shrinks the Flash as Barry laments that Xotar must be reading his mind as Xotar seems to know which way he's going to move before he does it. Flash is shrunken to 6 inches tall. Flash "vibrates with such speed that he turns himself into a living corkscrew and burrows under the ground." Xotar wonders where he is as he can't see him anymore- well,you were the one with the idea to shrink him-and that now he can't read his thoughts. Now,3 inches tall,Barry vibrates through the robot's leg. Guess it didn't have an "indestructible" body after all. Xotar knows that he needs to keep hitting the Flash with the beam so that he'll becomes so small,Flash will enter a sub-atomic universe or the beam's effect will wear off! How was he going to do that when he apparently has no way to track him?

Flash is moving so fast now he seems invisible and the heat from his friction melts the butt of the weapon. Xotar ejects both Flash and the weapon from the robot and takes off to try the second weapon since his first one failed. I'd say it was Xotar who was the failure. Right,kids?

[Brian Adkins]

Chapter 3: Xotar goes back to 1 minute after challenging Flash so the team thinks he defeated Flash in 1 minute! But,Xotar,as we've seen isn't the brightest guy, tells them that nope,his weapon failed. Why let them know that? Xotar even tells them Flash will be back in about an hour. Gosh,that's a helpful super-villain.

This time Xotar releases Aquaman and J'onn J'onnz with this riddle:"I will strike where the sun rises in the west and sets in the east." Both guys immediately knows the answer: The Isthmus of Panama. Aquaman:" The Isthmus turns and twists in such a manner that the easternmost tip of the Panama canal touches the Pacific ocean-while the westernmost tip touches the Atlantic!" J'onn:" Few people realize the Panama canal runs Northwest and Southeast than due East and West." It's good that Aquaman is shown to be knowledgeable.

Aaaand,where right back to making Aquaman look dumb. Aquaman is sitting on a sailfish that J'onn uses his super-breath against its huge dorsal fin to blow him there in no time. Aquaman should not need this type of assistance. They reach Panama and Xotar shoots J'onn with his "De-evolutionizer" and blasts him into nothingness! Xotar congratulates himself for sending J'onn back "a billion years down the evolutionary track" and into a microscopic organism!

All of a sudden,Xotar can't see out his window. Everything is black! Guessing there are no video cameras in the future. Aquaman smartly had some nearby octopy squirt ink on the window. He also informs us of J'onn's ability to turn invisble so doesn't believe he's destroyed. But he also knows that while invisible,J'onn has no super-powers. Apparently,Aquaman already has self esteem issues as he thinks to himself that his job is distract Xotar until J'onn can find a way to overcome it. As though he's incapable of doing it himself. I'm all for teamwork but that's how it reads.

Aquaman has several octopy form a chain and they start dragging the robot off the shore and toward the ocean. You know,because Aquaman is weeeak. By now Xotar has his window wipers (Ha! No security camers but the future has those!) clean off the ink from his window. Xotar blasts the octopy with his weapon while,below the surface,Aquaman has giant clams close their shells about the robot's legs to hold it fast! That's ridiculous. And,for some reason,Xotar can't get at Aquaman because he's underwater. Did I mention ridiculous?

Meanwhile,on shore J'onn becomes visible,thereby restoring his powers and uses his- can you guess?- yep,super-breath (this time ,"Martian breath") to rotate a swirling column of sand so swiftly that friction heats it to a red glow. J'onn shares that this is the first stage in manufacturing glass. From the soil-by drawing a super-breath-he lifts out potash and soda,oxide of iron and aluminum,and mixes them at super-heat! Now that it's glass,he backs it with silver to turn it into a mirror!

Xotar once again tries to hit J'onn with his beam,but the mirror -which devolves back into its components -but not before it deflects the beam back at the weapon, which has a diamond barrel,and so it's devolves back into its original form of pure carbon. The weapon needed a diamond barrel to work so now it's worthless. Wonder how that works? Xotar ejects this weapon too and vanishes again to go challenge another team.

[Brian Adkins]

Chapter 4: Xotar challenges Wonder Woman,Batman and Green Lanternto fight him, " Above the living stone of the ring necked pheasant!"

This next panel almost knocked me down as they're released from the gravitic beam and Xotar fades into time, Batman asks, "B-but where's that? Sounds like Kookie talk to me!"
Batman did NOT KNOW THE ANSWER!? BATMAN!? Holy #$%! However,the back of Snapper Carr's head is near Batman's so I honestly think that word bubble was meant for him. Then again,Batman never does offer any answer either. As a matter of fact,he takes off after the other two wonder if they might need Superman's help so Batman goes to check on a theory for the "Boy Scout's" absence.

Wondy explains that "Living stone" is stone which has been sculpted into statuary while still in its natural state...as distinguished from quarried stone,like a marble slab!" GL chimes in with:"The ring necked pheasant is the official state bird of South Dakota. That's the place where Gutzon Borglum carved living rock in a national monument!" WW finishes with:" The Mount Rushmore memorial! That's where Xotar is waiting!"

Sure enough,there's Xotar in his not so indestructible time traveling robot on top of Mount Rushmore now firing yellow bubbles at them from his third weapon the "Magneto-Bubble!" Insert X-Men joke here. WW and her robot plane are imprisoned in one of the bubbles and drawn skyward as Xotar tells us that the bubble has a strong magnetic attraction for the yellow star Capella--250 trillion miles from Earth! And theorizes that even if she should survive the long journey, the heat from Capella will finish her off!

Trying to free his hapless partner-apparently,she's just sitting in the plane doing nothing-GL decides to overcome his power ring's weakness to the color yellow by creating a "Bolide"-a handy editor's note explains a bolide is a bright meteor which explodes in the course of its flight through the atmosphere!- GL causes it to explode in such a manner that its vibrations shatters the magnetic bubble!

Xotar muses that GL is a worthy opponent and maybe should have eliminated him first. He starts firing numerous yellow bubbles at him but can't hit GL. After wondering what's wrong with his aim,we see WW has positioned herself on top of the robot,looped her magic lasso about the barrel of the weapon and keeps jiggling it to make Xotar miss GL.

Green Lantern can't even affect Xotar's window due to it having "yellow grains" in it let alone the robot or the bubbles so he gathers up some clay and muzzles the super weapon with it rendering it useless. That was incredibly easy. Shouldn't it have been even more difficult to defeat than the last two?

Xotar again ejects his weapon and disappears as GL wonders what the 4th weapon will be.

[Brian Adkins]

Xotar now challenges all of them to a battle in "The Valley of Ten Thousand Smokes!" It has to be at a cigarette factory! He warns them that their defeat has already been written due to the "most terrible weapon of all!" Addiction? After hearing that,they all retire. Just kidding.

They all travel along the sea coast- including Aquaman who needs no assistance this time!- until they reach the fumaroles (fumarole:An opening in the ground that emits steam and gases due to volcanic activity. The definition wasn't in the story) of the Valley which is "one of the most eerily beautiful places in all Alaska."

Xotar tells them this is their Waterloo-the one battle they are doomed to lose. He releases the firing pin of the 4th weapon and explains in thought that the gravitic beam that held them prisoner would have made a fine weapon but it surrounded them with a force field through which he couldn't reach them. Glad to get that plothole filled. The JLA is caught fully by mysterious radiation- hey,if nuclear fallout didn't kill them...

It seems as though they have been teleported to another planet with 2 green suns and it has a horde of alien monsters on it! Monsters that counter their powers. But wait! It's all an illusion caused by Xotar's weapon-the aptly named "Illusion-Maker!" The team is actually using their powers against one another!

All of a sudden,everyone realizes what's happening and WW spots Superman,Batman and Snapper. Superman explains that Xotar tried to turn the weapon on him and Batman instead but was too late. We learn from Batman that he figured out Superman was traveling through time since it was the only medium their alarm signal wouldn't travel through. Batman has a time machine? He must,otherwise,how'd he get a hold of Superman?

Superman goes about destroying the robot. He lifts it into the stratosphere,turns,power dives head first,plunges it into the ground and then crushes the Illusion maker weapon to powder with his bare hands! He smashes into the robot,adjusts the time controls to prevent Xotar from ever returning to their time,then leaves and the robot travels back with Xotar to their own time.

Once back in their own time,Xotar arrives just as the police break into his hideout and he wonders how he could have lost due to what was written in that old book he had.

In the present we see Wonder Woman starting to write in that same book and read the full passage. It reads:" the Illusion Maker was one of the four weapons used by Xotar in his unsuccessful attempt to defeat the Justice League of America " Diana needs to work on her punctuation.

[Brian Adkins]

Okay,up next: BRAVE AND THE BOLD #30:JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA: "CASE OF THE STOLEN SUPER-POWERS!"

"Masters of a million menaces to mankind!" Stan Lee is that you?

The cover and first page hammer home that a "mad scientist type" -later we find out his name is Prof. Ivo-and his "synthetic man" Amazo -his name is on the cover-are stealing the JLA's super-powers. On the first page he's commanding Amazo to use GL's power ring to zap them so they'll forget the pair and not threaten them again. Well,until the next time they commit a crime I'm sure.

The Flash starts off the story by speeding through Central City on the way to,once again, fight Mirror Master. But,along the way,as he's racing up a building he loses his speed and almost goes splat! His powers return just in time for him to vibrate his arms -at close to light speed!-build a cushion of air and land safely,then quickly heads to fight MM.

Green Lantern is next. While trying to save a train from a wrecked track he makes green rails from his power ring only to have them disappear! Hal wonders how that's possible since he only charged it an hour ago. Thankfully,the power comes back as fast as it left and he saves the train.

Wonder Woman is on the wing of her robot plane trying to lasso a runaway missile but loses her balance as her whole body goes numb! But it's just for a moment and she then manages to fling the missile into the ocean miles away.

Aquaman is at 40 fathoms under the sea commanding two whales to raise a sunken galleon to the surface because he's afaid he won't be able to rescue a "treasure hunting skin diver" who is trapped under a fallen mast before the diver's oxygen runs out. Because,it's not like Aquaman is super strong or super fast underwater or anything. Sigh. Well,the 2 whales start to leave momentarily forcing Aquaman to repeat his orders. Aquaman says he'll tell the whales to leave after the diver gets his treasure onto the boat. Well,at least Aquaman made someone rich.

The 5th and final one has J'onn J'onzz,The Martian Manhunter,using his super-breath to clear a fog away for an ambulance on a country road. Couldn't he have just picked it up and flew it to the hospital? Oh,no! His super-breath is gone! And,then it's back. Whew. Close one.

Next we see Flash in his secret i.d. as Barry Allen in the police lab musing about a second report of an "unusual robbery from an unusual thief" in the last 24 hours. So,he signals the team! Superman and Batman show up even though they weren't on the cover.

Flash tells them of the two cases-"in the first robbery,the thief entered a private aquarium in France to steal a European catfish-by using a green ray to slice through walls. Hal,being a crack detective,thinks it sounds just like the work of his power ring. The thief then lifted the aquarium in an incredible feat of strength as the fish is about 10 feet long and weighs 400 pounds! J'onn thinks such a feat would require his super-strength. (What,nothing for the ol' Martian super-breath?) Then,the thief raced using my speed over the ocean waves-using the backs of living fish as stepping stones." (Why would he need fish to step over if he has Flash's speed? We've already seen Flash run across the water. Just a precaution in case the speed gives out or yet another case of them making Aquaman's abilites look silly?)

"The second robbery -at an entomologist's laboratory-was performed with a glowing lariat which caught up a mesh cage holding a cicada insect." WW ponders if there is a duplicate of her magic lasso. Not sure having a magic lasso or a power ring is technically having super-powers but let's not be nitpicky.

Snapper Carr,showing Batman a thing or two,tells them why he thinks anyone would steal these things: "I'm batting out a term paper on the life span of animals. According to my research the European catfish lives longer than any other fish-about 60 years (shouldn't Aquaman have made this point?)-the cicada with a life span of 17 years is like the Methusela of the insect kingdom."

Taking in this info,the Flash guesses that "perhaps someone is trying to analyze the mysterious substance which gives nature's creatures long life in order to make an "immortality elixir." Superman goes along with it and believes his super-powers weren't stolen because only Kryptonite can weaken him-which makes no sense. Batman happily chimes in with," And I have no super-powers to steal!" "Happy" Batman isn't too far away from being as lame as Aquaguy.

Flash compiles a list of the longest living animals and hands out assignments, WW will be guarding the world's oldest living man who lives in Peru,Aquaman comments that the tortoise is the oldest living reptile at 250 years,Superman says a whale lives 100 years,Batman goes after the oldest living non-human land animal,which is an elephant and Flash and JJ go to protect the world's oldest bird-a 68 year old owl! Some are generalizations,so I'm not sure how they knew,for example,which elephant or whale to protect.

Snapper Carr stays behind snapping his fingers. What,...that's not a super-power?

[Brian Adkins]

Wonder Woman flies southward to the town of Cuaraz in the mountains of Peru to meet Jose Mendoza,caretaker for the Peruvian government. She warns him of danger but he says,"No way,Jose!" Just kidding. But he does tell her he'll be fine due to the protection of his "spirit dolls." Trust me,they're weird looking. Like distorted clowns. Jose asks her what she can do that his spirit dolls haven't already and introduces her to his family-110 yr. old son,grandson-90,great granddaughter-65, great-great-grandson-40,and great-great-great-grandson,12. They've lived so long because like Frosted Flakes cereal,they're GREEAATT!. He walks off to go to work,caring for the Peruvian archaelogical treasures. WW thinks he's obstinate but sticks around anyway. MERCIFUL MINERVA! WW hears Amazo,deducing the loud noise is him (it?) using the Flash's super-speed to break the sound barrier! Shouldn't he arrived before her?

WW tries to -can you guess?- lasso Amazo. She's basically a cowgirl with a fancy jet. Amazo tries to zap the lasso with a green beam from GL's power ring but thre's no effect! The lasso is yellow! Ha! Sucker! He switches to J'onn's Martian super-breath and-Suffering Sappho! She's like a leaf in a tornado! Amazo reveals that his inventor's name is Professor Ivo and will help him conquer the Earth! Because that's what all good super-villains do.

While holding a torch in one hand and his spirit doll in the other hand, Jose shouts for the Spirit doll to protect him,surprisingly Amazo stops! But WW knows the real reason why-it's J'onn's vulnerability to flame and trapped by using one power of the JLA,Amazo can't adopt the super-power of another. Unfortunately,Jose still thinks the spirit doll is the reason and
decides to extinguish the flame in sacred water thinking it will destroy Amazo. He does so even as WW is yeling for him to stop.

Amazo is now revived and grabs both of them in a verdant -there's that word again-construct of two massive hands. WW says she can't get loose as it feels like a "hand made of steel!" So,she fails in her mission as Amazo flies off with them both in his grasp to Prof. Ivo so he can take Wonder Woman's power forever! Is lassoing a super-power?

[Brian Adkins]

GL has constructed water skis and a handle to pull Aquaman along the water. I have no idea why he wouldn't just let him swim? Just for fun? They do look happy. Like the Ambiguously Gay Duo. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Aquaman informs Hal that the oldest living tortoise is on one of the Galapagos Islands. He doesn't know which one? Wow, he is lame.

Oh,wait the next panel he does know! Make up your mind! Aquaman calls the 250 year old turtle,who lives on Fernandina Island,"Old Ironhead." Was "Ironsides" on in the 60's? Hal seals off the island in a protective bubble before they even confirm the turtle is there by,you know,looking.

Amazo tries different powers to breach the bubble -J'onn's super-strength,then super-breath,Flash's speed and vibration trick-nope,nothing,nada. Deducing that he can get through the green bubble if he was the color yellow,Amazo dives to the bottom of the ocean and coats himslef in gold! This story is gold. Amazo breaks through but GL causes a rainfall with a nearby cloud and washes off the gold! Amazo uses Flash's speed again to get away.

Meanwhile,Aquaman is taking the tortoise-which we are just now seeing-to hide somewhere. That's actually a decent plan.

Amazo tosses yellow grains of sand in the air and blows them at Hal. Yes,GL is defeated...by sand. Amazo makes a "power rocket" around GL and has it fly to Prof. Ivo.

Using Martian super-vision,Amazo spots the underwater cave Aquaman hid the tortoise. Aquaman tries to keep Amazo away by creating a whirlpool-which is also a good idea-but Amazo makes a fishing rod and pulls them both out of the cave and whirlpool. Yep,he caught Aquaman. With a fishing rod. Amazo then makes two more "power rockets" and flies them off to Ivo.

[Brian Adkins]

Chapter 4!:The Flash and J'onn go to a "midwestern city"-must be Parts Unknown-to protect a 68 year old owl in a municipal zoo. Flash zips around the buildings while J'onn spies from above. Flash wonders if there's an earthquake,unfortunately for both of them,Amazo went underground and rips the aviary from its foundation! (The Vulture pulls a similar tactic in Amazing Spider-Man in an early 60's story) Amazo lifts it into the air and J'onn ...you can guess by now,right?- yep,blows at it with his super-breath! Because it's not like he has super-strength or anything. They reach a stalemate. Amazo decides to drop the house so that when J'onn goes to catch it,he'll be able to snare J'onn with his duplicate magic lasso. Still not convinced making a duplicate of a weapon is the same as stealing a super-power but,whatevs. Amazo successfully lassos J'onn and spins him super-fast around and around,then puts him in a power rocket since he's now helpless. Really? J'onn's other weakness is dizziness?

While this tussle was happening,Flash has been "racing in speedy circles at near light speed!"-really don't think he needs to go that fast every time- and then gradually slows down the whirlwinds so that the aviary lands safely to the ground. He goes inside hoping to get the owl and leave while J'onn is fighting Amazo. Obviously,he doesn't know Amazo won and is now making yet another power rocket with a duplicate GL ring to trap them and send them to Ivo. The "Crimson Comet" runs outside with the owl in a birdcage in one hand and sees the emerald barrier and can't vibrate through so he does the next best thing. He gathers all of the yellow bird feathers he can find in the aviary -such as the canary,the sulphur-crested cockatoo,and the bower bird-and sticks them to himself. Flash also makes wings for himself from yellow quills. How he got all of it to stick I do not know. But it works! He breaks through the green barrier.

So now,the Flash basically is flying because,well,he has wings. Physics,people! He theorizes he's now out over the Atlantic ocean. He starts to lose altitude as he tries to veer toward a distant ship even as the wind starts failing but then the wind picks up again and he reaches a nearby yacht. I'm not sure if the ship and the yacht were meant to be the same thing. Unfortunately,it's the ship of Prof. Ivo! Flash is trapped in a glass tube! And Ivo takes the caged owl from him. Before chlorine gas knocks him out Ivo tells Flash his name and Amazo reveals that it was him who gave Flash a burst of super-breath so that he'd land on their ship. Sneaky.

[Brian Adkins]

Aboard Prof. Ivo's "floating laboratory",5 members of the JLA -Aquaman,Martian Manhunter,Wonder Woman,The Flash and Green Lantern-are trapped in chlorine gas filled glass tubes while Ivo does what classic super-villains do-extraordinary exposition! He reveals that now he's going to take away the JLA's powers forever and store them in Amazo! Why didn't he just do that from the beginning? Amazo asks a logical question-"What about Batman and Superman?" Ivo tells him Batman will be an easy victim because he doesn't have any super-powers (I can hear the Batman fanboy nerd rage from here) and that he'll weaken Superman with Kryptonite! He had a rock of it this whole time and didn't use it to take the powers of the team's most powerful member!? Good grief.

Okay,to be fair,it looks like transferring their super-powers permanently into Amazo is a slow process so,maybe he needed them all there for a legthy period of time? Yeah,let's go with that.

Also,while that's happening,Ivo is making an "immortality elixir" from his chemical anlaysis of whatever substance made all of them live so long. He swigs it down like the best man at a wedding and estimates he's drunk enough to live 500 years! And,heck he can always make more when he needs it.

Well,I was wrong. That process with JLA didn't take long at all as,after drinking the elixir,Ivo raises the glass tubes,orders Amazo to blow the gas away,and then he wants Amazo to blast the JLA with his duplicate power ring and make them forget about being Justice League members and forget about him and Amazo. But first,Amazo must recharge his ring with the battery of power he stole from GL soon after Hal left for the JL meeting. How did he find it? Does he know Hal Jordan is Green Lantern? Sure enough after being zapped,Wonder Woman wonders why she's on a boat and Flash wonders why he's in such an odd costume. J'onn wonders why he's wearing an S & M getup.

Prof. Ivo and Amazo are in a room playing the world conquering game Risk,when a soft,green glow lights it up and it's...the Incredible Hulk! Nope,sorry it's Green Lantern! Ivo naturally doesn't understand why GL wasn't affected like the others and Amazo can't use any of their powers. As he came through the wall, GL absorbed all of Amazo's super-powers into his power ring! Hal commands they stand still and they are indeed motionless.

GL gives the others back their powers-and even though it doesn't say it,apparently most of their memories. Hal explains that while inside his cylinder he overheard Ivo mention that he was using chlorine gas and that the gas is greenish-yellow so just before they were released from the container he inhaled as much chlorine gas as he could! Yep,he should probably be dead. Again. Then while Amazo aimed the power ring at them,he softly exhaled the chlorine-making a yellow bubble in front of his face protecting him- so that he wouldn't forget like the others. He marched out behind them but then snuck off to the room where the power battery was at,recharged it and ..well,we know the rest. Hal comments on the irony of his one weakness- women?- being the thing that saved all of them.

Flash says they should contact Batman and Superman to tell them the threat is over. Couple of super-slackers. The JLA says they'll be returning Jose to his home,replacing the animals and taking Ivo to the authorities. Prof. Ivo gets sentenced to 500 years in prison. Snapper is happy due to the villain having to spend all of his extra years in prison. Yeah,like he's not gonna escape. And his elixir worked! That guy should be super-rich too! Crime doesn't pay,huh? Snapper snaps his fingers as he looks on at the inert form of Amazo who,instead of dismantling and melting it,they stuck in their souvenir room.

[Brian Adkins]

Well,thinking about that last part I wrote about Amazo,it does say he's a "synthetic man." Maybe they didn't put a lot of thought into what that should imply but the character was able to use a Green Lantern power ring -okay, a duplicate-which requires "will power." So,perhaps they didn't melt him down due to him being a sentient being?

[Brian Adkins]

Well,the team's stories became so popular they were given their own title: JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #1: "THE WORLD OF NO RETURN!"

Even though the cover and first page tell us the basic plot,I'm going to jump right into the story. Cool? Cool.

While in his civilian secret identity as police scientist Barry Allen,he's driving along a lonely country road when he sees a strange bluish glow that covers a nearby old farmhouse at the same time his car motor dies so he pops out his uniform from his ring,with the costume expanding from contact with air,and decides to investigate as The Flash! Barry should have made a patent for that ring!

Zipping up to a broken window he sees a "green haired girl and man--must be alien beings fom another world!" It takes more than that to be an alien these days! Racing inside,the girl shouts:"Father! It's one of Despero's hunters! He's found us!" Father:" No,Saranna! He is an earth being! I can read his thoughts!" Now that we see them up close,Flash was right as they have arched eyebrows and pointy ears like Mr. Spock on Star Trek. Her and her father-Jasonar-have come to Earth via a "dimensional traveler" to seek asylum and develop an "anti-weapon" that "soaks up energy like a sponge does water" to counter a three eyed tyrant named Despero who has enslaved their people apparently by using "super energy weapons." Because you have to have "super" stuff or it sounds wimpy. They're afraid he'll find them and drag them back home. The Flash decides that "Sure,we can go fight in a dimensional world where we don't know your laws or way of life and I totally believe your story even though your strangers and I have no proof." And sends out the "ultra vibrational" signal to gather the troops.

Wonder Woman gets the call as she's yet again lassoing something-this time it's the Statue of Liberty! She's tilted it so it wouldn't be struck by a lightning bolt. She thanks her mythical Greek goddess Hera that her robot plane was able to match the speed of said bolt. I bet Zeus threw it at her.

Next is police detective John Jones who is in the "asphalt jungles of a metropolis." Not THE Metropolis just "a" metropolis. He's breaking down a door to catch two hoods and snap the cuffs on 'em, then it's off to play super-hero as you-know-who.

GL is saving a couple of houses from a massive flood due to a dam break. Couldn't he just "will" the water back into the dam and then "will" it back together afterwards? Nah,he's just gonna find them a nice,dry spot for the houses then bail to go to the meeting. Don't look at me,that's what it says!

We see reporter Clark Kent on the move to join as Superman and Snapper Carr is coming to to help too.

Batman-balancing on a bat-ladder from the bat-plane -helps Aquaman capturing aqua-smugglers out on the aqua-sea.

Meanwhile,back at the farmhouse,Jasonar is showing Flash how their ship works and that with the controls he can go to any dimension he chooses,when suddenly a beam hits Saranna and she disappears! Jasonar says it's Despero and the beam is to snatch them back to their dimension. The Flash says no,it won't because the blue glow they absorbed from inside the dimensional traveler is protecting them. When did that happen?

The Flash whizzes-no,not that kind-Jasonar and the ship to a nearby cave and explains that they'll have to keep going in it to bathe themselves in the blue beam because they don't know when the "dimensional radiations" will wear off like they did with Saranna. For an Earth-bound police scientist he sure knows a lot about alien technology he's just seen. Shouldn't Jasonar have known this stuff?

The Flash leaves Jasonar to work on his "anti-weapon" and heads to the not-so secret sanctuary as Despero is there! And talking in the third person! Guess that's what you get when you have a third eye. And some weird fin thing. Despero has the others in a trance and starts telling his completely convoluted plan instead of just killing everyone right then and there. He did indeed take Sarrana by teleport and read her mind so he was alerted that the JLA was helping them,then secretly teleported there and using his "mystical mental powers",he "whammied" everyone. How'd he know the location of the headquarters? Jasonar read Barry's mind not Saranna. Anyway,Despero can't affect Barry due to the blue ray that hit him sometime off panel so he decides to play chess! Oh my god,no! Not chess!

Despero claims he's a sportsman and will let the others go and give up his wicked ways if Flash wins. And he already has a chessboard! Whatta guy! Despero explains the rules to Flash:" You can win by placing any one of these six JLA figures on a free square. Since there are 63 free squares and only 1 "disaster square" for each JLA piece-the odds favor you enormously! Shuffle these 64 numbered cards in any order you desire,then place them next to the board and move a piece. If you move to a square that matches the number on the top card-you lose!" The Flash thinks it's 63 to 1 in his favor and,of course,he has to save the team! Despero continues, "If you place your piece on the single disaster square,your fellow member will be transported instantly to another world from which they'll never return!" Bwhahaha! "Lose with all 6 pieces and you're my prisoner! Now-Begin!"

Naturally,the Flash loses as the game is rigged ,he just didn't know how and since Despero still can't affect Flash,he has Barry leave by a different dimensional traveler. Apparently,Oprah gave everyone one at Christmas. We learn Despero's 3rd eye caused the number on the cards Flash chose to change,blanking out the right number and causing the "disaster"number to appear! So,now Despero thinks he's won and can go about his business without interference from the JLA but...Snapper Carr has snuck in late and stows away on his ship.

[Brian Adkins]

Was in a bit of a hurry and didn't get to include Snapper Carr's "beatnik" dialogue. While hiding behind a corner and thinking about Despero: " Man,this three-eyed big daddy is a real moth-ball." Then,as he's sneaking onboard the "dimensional traveler:" I don't know what's on the front burner but I'll stow aboard this mad carpet to nowhere and find out what's cooking." We smell what your cookin' Snapper.

[Brian Adkins]

Wonder Woman has been sent to another dimension! She's greeted by a dinosaur! She wonders what type of horrible world she's been sent to! I'd be wondering why I was sent back in time. Diana believes she could fight off one or two of these "ferocious beasts" but not all of them as we see 4 of them. Do you think she lassos something? Take a shot! She wraps the golden lariat around the neck of a pterodactyl to get above the fray but it turns around to attack her! She stretches the free end of the lasso and wraps it around a tree. Climbing hand over hand so fast it can't catch her she climbs to the treetop then jumps just in time for the creature to smake into the bole. (Bole,in this case, is the stem or trunk of a tree.) However,she lands in a bed of liquid tar! And like anyone who is fighting for their life has the thoughts of a history teacher:" This lake of tar is like the Labrera tar pits in Los Angeles-where thousands of early life-forms were trapped!" Editor's note: The Labrera Tar Pits,which have yielded valuable scientific fossils,have been made into a public park and museum.

While trying to to wriggle free ,suddenly it's Superman! He grabs her arms and yanks on her so hard she turns into a "living pinwheel." After catching her,Superman wonders what the others are up to so he uses his telescopic vision to look upward and outward into space. He spots Batman and J'onn on another planet,decides they should join them but as he takes off once again with WW in his arms-he grows weak and falls!

Supes thinks kryptonite is around somewhere. Sure enough,WW spots some on top of a cliff! Superman never thought he'd find Krytonite there but muses that,"matter must duplicate itself throughout all the dimensional worlds!" I still haven't found any. So,WW starts climbing the cliff by using her golden tiara to dig into the surface of the cliff face,grabs the huge chunk of rock and hurls it "halfway around the world!"

Now recovered,Superman takes her by the waist and they fly up and Clark suggests she take a deep breath as they are about to travel across the gulf of space and between planets!