Anyone got any comic-themed jokes?

[ixfd64]

I'll start with one that I came up with:

Q: Why did Superman dump Lois for Wonder Woman?
A: He decided he wanted to date someone in the same League.

And here's one I saw on Reddit a while ago:

Q: Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff?
A: Amazon.

[TickTock]

Q: Why did Superman stop wearing his red panties?
A: Lois moved out and cut off his supply.

[Brigonos Chomhgaill]

Two guys drinking in a bar, one of them says "you know the thermal drafts up the side of this bar are so strong you can actually walk across the air from this roof to the roof of the next building?" and the other guy says
"You're full of it."
"No really, I swear."
"Fine, prove it."
So they go up on the roof and the first guy walks out across the air connecting the two buildings onto the next roof.
"HOLY CRAP!" says the second guy "Lemme try!" and he steps off the roof and falls two stories and breaks both his legs.
The first guy laughs and goes back to the bar. The barman hears the second guy screaming from outside and says "Not again! You can be a real asshole when you're drunk, Superman."

[ixfd64]

The barman hears the second guy screaming from outside and says "Not again! You can be a real asshole when you're drunk, Superman."

That probably explains why Superman decided to flick some peanuts and break all the bottles of expensive wine.

[LobsterJohnson]

You think those ninjas need help fighting Daredevil? Maybe we should give them a HAND.

[Tami]

Young Dick Grayson was really into computers. When asked what was his favorite Social Media, he replied, "Twitter, of course."

[Shawn Hopkins]

Superman was kinda bored so he just started flying around looking for something to do. He's flying over Wonder Woman's house and sees her bedroom window is open. He stops for a glimpse and sees her lying on her bed naked. She's lying there and squirming around looking real hot.

Superman was getting turned on looking at her so he decides what the hell, I can just fly in real quick, give her the ole' in-out and be out of there before she even knows what hit her. After all he is Superman. So, in he goes, wham-bam and he's out of there.

Wonder Woman knew something happened and says, "What was that?" The invisible man says, "I don't know but, damn, is my ass sore."

[Crawford Crow]

Comic book jokes? Okay. If Iron Man lost his armor, he'd be standing there Stark naked. Spider-Man was captured by the SWAT Team. If The Human Torch had his own comic book, it would be too hot to handle. Cyclops' real name is Popeye. Reed Richards started a rock and roll group called The Rubber Band. (Okay, that was a stretch). It might be nice for Susan Richards to have her own comic, but I just can't see it. :-)

[Moral_Gutpunch]

Okay, so a priest, a rabbi, and a vampire walk into a comic--oh, wait, Michael's already heard this one.

[JLS Comics]

What is spidermans favourite brand of Rice?
Uncle Bens

What does Batman put in his beverages?
Just ice.

*** ok, I'll see myself out ***

[Speed Force League Unlimited]

What is the main element in Tony Stark's diet?
Iron.


How did that ancient evil guy get his name?
He's a savage, and does a lot of vandalism.

[ixfd64]

Superman was kinda bored so he just started flying around looking for something to do. He's flying over Wonder Woman's house and sees her bedroom window is open. He stops for a glimpse and sees her lying on her bed naked. She's lying there and squirming around looking real hot.

Superman was getting turned on looking at her so he decides what the hell, I can just fly in real quick, give her the ole' in-out and be out of there before she even knows what hit her. After all he is Superman. So, in he goes, wham-bam and he's out of there.

Wonder Woman knew something happened and says, "What was that?" The invisible man says, "I don't know but, damn, is my ass sore."

That's a classic. I was expecting someone to post it here. :-)

Is there anyone strong enough to break Supergirl's super invulnerable hymen?

Asking the important questions.

On the subject of which...

Q: What's the best scene in the 1984 Supergirl movie?
A: The credits.

[The Negative Zone]

How many billionaires does it take to make a superhero? 3. 2 dead and 1 to never get over it.

[Speed Force League Unlimited]

What does it take to join the Avengers?
Not seeking vengeance.

[Shawn Hopkins]

Some of you guys are fuzzy on the concept of jokes.