Pick One Invention

[Fenris]

(I am borrowing a page from Cotton and doing some Cross-Dimensional Thread Necromancy. This was originally posted about four years ago, with some changes.)

The Science Fiction Genie appears to you and offers you one (1) of the following sf plot devices to keep. Along with a working prototype, you also get complete blueprints and a crackerjack team of lawyers to assure that your patent application (if you make one) gets by without any problems, thefts, or sneaky corporate subversions.

All models are relatively cheap to build and can be mass-produced with modern industrial processes. So, which one of these would you pick to gift/sell/impose upon the world?

(Or keep for yourself, I guess. In some of these cases that would definitely be a good idea.)


1) The Time Machine. The classic H.G. Wells model; forward and back as far as you want. Make sure you pull the right lever!

2) FTL Drive. Up to 55 lightyears per hour.

3) Food Replicators. They process almost anything (including dirt) and make it into nutritious soup. They're solar-powered and cheap enough for the world's aid agencies to supply the entire third world pretty easily.

4) Artificial Intelligence. This sentient software is actually a lot smarter than we are. It seems to like us, though. So far. (You can get it in Windows or Mac!)

5) Supernova Bomb. It blows up the sun. Yes, we all die.

6) Teleporter. As in The Fly, entry and exit portals are required. Check for insects in pod before using!

7) Cybernetic Brain Implants. You can browse the internet in your head, and make your thinking clearer, faster, and more precise. You can also adjust your mood with slider bars, though this may get complicated.

8) Shrink Ray. It makes things smaller; as small as you want, though shrinking slows down as things become microscopic. Another setting restores objects and people to their original size. Aside from the Restoration Ray, the shrink effect is permanent.

9) Personality Upload Scanner. It reads and records your entire brain, and then translates that into a realistic computer simulation of your personality. Your virtual self will know everything you do, and will sincerely believe that it's you. (In a sense, after all, it is.) You don't necessarily want it running at the same time as you; but if you die, it's a radical kind of life insurance.

10) Dimensional Transporter. Just like in Sliders, but with much better navigation control. The user-friendly interface allows you to select specific historical events as branching points (i.e., "A world where the South won the Civil War") or general conditions ("A world where there is no racism.") No guarantees about your reception there!


õ
We may make the world better or worse, but at least we're going to make it stranger!

[Mari]

I don't know what the FTL drive is. But I am confident I would love to have the time machine! Just to visit different times, and perhaps make enough money to not work

[Pól Rua]

The angel munky on my shoulder is saying Food Replicators.
The devil munky on my shoulder is saying Shrink Gun.

In the voice of Stephen Colbert as Myron Reducto.
Seriously.
He won't quit.

He really IS evil.

But in the end, I think I'd end up with the dimensional transporter. Mainly so I could set it for stuff like, "Take me to the world where George Lucas had an all-Japanese cast for Star Wars! Take me to the world where there was a Marvel Comics crossover between Master of Kung Fu and Tomb of Dracula!"

[ExcelsiorPrime]

Dimensional Transporter. So I could travel to the Alternate reality Marvel Universe. Then i would go to the timeline in which Abraham Lincoln was/is a Vampire Hunter.

[coveredinbees]

I don't know what the FTL drive is. But I am confident I would love to have the time machine! Just to visit different times, and perhaps make enough money to not work

Faster than light
They use it to get around in Battlestar. Eureka has one, too.

[Paradox]

Artificial Intelligence. To make up for the lack of natural intelligence around.

[The Watcher]

I choose the Dimensional Transporter and then use it to visit the timelines where I chose to receive a different sf plot device from the Science Fiction Genie. I make a deal with each of my counterparts to get copies of blueprints of all the other devices except the Dimensional Transporter in exchange for blueprints of the device he chose. It's a mutually beneficial deal and I'm a nice guy so it's a sure thing that my counterparts will agree.

I'll go to the me that has the Time Machine first to make things easier on me logistically. After he agrees to the deal his future self could travel back in time to give me copies of the blueprints to all the other devices so I won't have to go back and forth a lot between my different selves but just make one stop in each timeline to make a trade (well, twice for Time Machine me since I've got to go back and give him copies so the future him can go back in time to give me copies of his copies).

Now I've got blueprints and eventually working prototypes of every device.

I think I will patent the Food Replicator and Teleporter and keep the rest in reserve for myself. I'll sell the Food Replicators to aid agencies for a cheap price that makes me a small profit and make the majority of my money running a teleporter network to ship both people and goods. I might release FTL later after the world has adjusted to the changes wrought by the first two inventions.

[t hedge coke]

All I saw was "food" and my decision was made.

I mean, to be fair, it's probably what I'd use a starship or time machine for, anyway. To boldly find new sandwiches.

[Paradox]

And with the Time Travel device, maybe someone would make you an Earl!

[Dispenser Of Truth]

Absolutely the replicator, even if it's just limited to food. The world kinda sorta desperately needs that.

[The MunchKING]

AI could b e pretty awesome. Especially if it's loyal to me.

[BeastieRunner]

The non-selfish version of me won out with the replicator ... we need that. The selfish me was trying to justify the time machine.

[The Darknight Detective]

I don't know what the FTL drive is. But I am confident I would love to have the time machine! Just to visit different times, and perhaps make enough money to not work

It's the time machine for me, too.

[The MunchKING]

It's the time machine for me, too.

Be careful not to catch any weird diseases in the past or future.

[The Darknight Detective]

Be careful not to catch any weird diseases in the past or future.

Heh. That would be a big concern. Almost as much altering the timeline and erasing yourself out of existence.